From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
- You may be looking for Satan and not even know it!
“I do not fear Stan half so much as I fear those who fear him.”
“Stan's a Dick!!!”
“Come to think about it his name was... It was YOU! Damn.”
Stan the Demon , (known by the Japanese as as Chibielzebub), or Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck, is Satan's younger brother and sidekick, and was born in Swindon, UK. A tad bit less cruel than his older brother, Stan prefers to carry around a large soup spoon rather than a pitchfork, bulbs on his head instead of horns and a bob on the end of his tail much like a bobcat, rather than the pointy tail of his older brother. ("All three," he says, "are precautions to avoid accidentally poking out any eyes. Also, just because three is a magical number. What, you hadn't realized that yet you dumbshits? Look down below, trinity, triforce, tripod. Holy Jeez you guys are stupid.") Children are told of how Stan gives presents to all the naughty little children on Christmas Eve. Also, rather than damning people to hell, which he considers too harsh, he prefers to darn people to heck, his own personal kingdom to rule over.
Rather than suffering damnation and the burning of flames, as people do in hell, people in heck instead suffer lengthy darnation in a small broom closet that lacks air-conditioning. Since some celebrities began using heck as a place to literally sweat off pounds, sufferers in heck have been forced to watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond and the movie "Siddhartha" as a discouragement.
Though Stan is technically assigned to be the nemesis of the Holy Triforce, he and his older brother have no animosity to prevent them from working together, as the Holy Threesomes do. They can frequently be seen in tag-team matches against the Holy Rock just for fun. The one point of animosity Stan has against his older brother is his political opinions. Stan is a starch-conservative and supports the teaching of intelligent design in high school science classrooms. Satan, on the other hand, supports the teaching of evolution.
Stan is quite possibly the best janitor our school has ever had!
Stan also appears in numerous Monkey Island games.
Stan also likes to take the form of a beaten up bowling ball. In this odd form, he hangs out near local bike trails.
|The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy|
|Top Rung, the Holy Trinity: God, Jesus, & the Holy Spirit, opposed by Satan|
Middle Rung, the Holy Triforce: Jeez, & The Holy Ghost, opposed by Stan