Stalker

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“Can you feel me breathing on your neck?”
~ The stalker behind you
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ed ones. Excessive stalking may lead to a restraining order, which is merely a certificate that you can use to show off that you're the plaintiff's #1 fan. However, stalking may not be right for you. Sure, you could be a bit obsessed with someone, or maybe a bit insane, but there are other answers for things like that. There’s suicide (not recommended) and hitting yourself over the head with a rusty wooden spoon until you aren’t insane anymore (highly recommended). Stalking people is more than just following someone around, it takes skills. You can’t just walk around and be like “Oh hey guys, I’m a stalker! Yay!" it doesn’t work that way. You have to have technique. And no one has worse technique that Lisa Walter, otherwise knows as Lisa the Stalker. Trust me... that chick will stalk you to death especially if you're a berry!

What is stalking?

Stalking is something that people like to do when they have no friends. What they do have are obsessions with random people they spot on the street and often fall in love with. Stalkers tend not to wear the trench coats and freaky black hats because of stereotypes. They can wear pants, shirts, frilly dresses (watch out for those guys), two different gloves and even designer jackets. Stalkers think you are in love with them too, and follow, call, IM, and use other ways to contact you and keep track of you. The main definition of a stalker is someone who follows someone else without them knowing. Usually, their intentions are to try to get you alone and either rape, abduct, or kill you, stare at your head, or marry you most likely all of the above.

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