Staffordshire Bull Terrier

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The Staffordshire Bull Terrier is a medium sized, short coated dog originally bred for bull and bear fighting, and for hammering nails into concrete.

In the early part of the twentieth century they gained respectability in English circles when it was discovered firing them from cannons at Zeppelins was the most effective way of neutralising the enemy air threat.

this breed can easily double as furniture

The Staffie is a breed that has many supporters and perhaps just as many detractors.

Over the generations the Staffie has put his fighting history behind him and his other famous trait, as a loving family member, has earned him a place in the hearts, beds and spittoons of many.

Staffie owners recommend their dogs as confident, people-loving, dogs. A typical staffie is energetic, devoted to his families, and normally loves meeting strangers. On the downside, they are meathead spit machines that have a tendency to trip on their own tongues when tired. Most importantly, when inventing Staffies, God (in His infinite wisdom) decided to substitute their anal sphincter with a release vent for hell, which is opened any time the pressure down there gets too strong (about every ten minutes).

a typical Staffie displaying the renowned "I'm farting right now" face

Lovingly referred to as a "keg on legs", the Staffordshire Bull Terrier is a stocky, muscular dog that exudes character, strength and athletic ability as well as, most importantly, copious amounts of high-quality Coopers Pale Ale in both liquid and gaseous form when fed the right diet of wheat and hops (from whence comes the expression, "keg on legs").

Their expressive countenances indicate their mood and intelligence.

The Staffie is a dog with strength for its size with unbeatable bravery. As a result it is planned to replace the entire United States Marine Corps with Staffies that have been genetically modified to wear uniforms, strip a weapon, and follow anyone with shiny brass buttons on their uniform.

The dogs stand 14-6" tall and 28lb - 38lb's

[edit] Temperament

lazy little bastards

Bold, Smelly, inquisitive and fearless the Staffie is renowned for its reliability as a family dog. They are extremely loving creatures and their reliability with children has gained them the nickname "The Nanny Dog". Loyalty and devotion are amongtheir other strong characteristics. Staffies generally love everyone including trespassers. Staffies are usually considered good guard dogs within the food manufacturing industry. Teams of 3 generally work 8 hour shifts to ensure high value items such as lamb cutlets, cream scones and prawn cocktail rings are not stolen without a cut of the proceeds.

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