Louisiana
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| State Flower: | Lilly pad |
|---|---|
| Official Language: | Prawnsays, Prenchy Germish, Angles |
| Government: | Hurricanes |
| Governor: | Hurricane Katrina |
| State Bird: | Oily Skin |
| State Motto: | Parley boo prawnsay! |
| State Rock | Tar balls |
| Location: | The Boot |
| State Beverage | bathtub gin |
| Demographics | Prenchy, Prench Pried Germans & Back Water Folk |
| State Club | Swingers and Perves |
| Official Plant | Gater |
| Principle imports | Hurricanes |
| Principal exports | Poor Black refugees |
| Religion | Voodoo |
Do not decide whether to leave your house, shelter or vehicle based on Uncyclopedia information. In fact, do not decide to do anything in your life based on Uncyclopedia information. Except if we tell you to leave the area. Because staying in the path of a 120-mile-per-hour hurricane is beyond DUMB.
Contents |
edit Namesake
Louis I. Ana, foreman of the three year job to build Louisiana with Louis and Anna, drunkenly signed his name into the shoreline (sans-spaces) in the year AD 900. 628 years later, Pánfilo de Narváez set foot in Louisiana to discover the rum-induced signature.
edit Geography
In third grade classrooms across the country, Louisiana is commonly referred to as the one that's shaped like an elbow and isn't Florida. Alternatively, it is the boot that isn't Italy. Regardless, in the Deep South, it's about as deep as it gets.
edit Food and Culture
“What is she doing in there? Ah no, she just yelled, 'Get back in that pot!' Why does it smell like a burning tire? I hope it's not what we had last night. There's something wrong with crawfish staring at it you while you tear it in half. It tasted like a flaming oil tanker. And here she comes... Oh god, they don't expect me to eat that, do they? There's a tentacle in there. Please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle... fantastic. A tentacle. And a... I have no idea what that is. Why is she smiling at me? Oh god, I'm going to have to take a bite. Okay, just smile and choke it down. Spoon in... and I get the tentacle. Here it goes, *gugh-ugh, gahh!* Hmm... not bad. Not bad at all. Actually this may be the most delicious thing I have ever had in my life!"”.
edit Tea Emporium
Louisianananans have a patent for a highly toxic variety of tea, they call 'SWEAAAT-T' which will render the drinker Diabetic from the first mouthful. Its ingredients are highly top secret, but they are believed to be Tea. It is customary to mix SWEAAAT-T with burbon to hush your baby, Britney Spears, a Louisiananana native sure knows.
edit Louisiana State University Tigarrhea
"No joke, the Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers football team may be the last good reason to rock US. They're like the 1972 Miami Dolphins, only better because they're not old, unlike the USC trojans who are a disgrace and over-rated."
~ Person suffering from Tigarrhea
LSU Tigarrhea is a disease that plagues more than 90% of Louisiana's population common symptoms include thinking that the Tigers are "the goodest thing bout louisiana", buying useless LSU shirts or other merchandise especially if you didn't attend LSU or attended a rival school, and saying things like "geaux Tigers". If you know someone who exhibits these symptoms please alert them to their idiotic behavior immediately.
edit Notable Residents
Hurricane Katrina
Louis Armstrong
Britney Spears
Lil' Wayne
edit Louisiana in the News
File:UnNews Louisiana jails overflow after town bans saggy pants.mp3
