St. Louis Cardinals

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What a bird! Lemme see that Pujol!

The St. Louis Cardinals used to be a baseball team in the MLB. However, after the largest gathering of actual birds in the history of the universe, it was decided by Sir Bucky the Eagle, that using the imagery of a bird as a competitive sporting mascot completely disrespects what birds, and particularly peace-loving cardinals, stand for.

The birds felt they had to make a stand to show the world what they are really all about-- peace. Thus, they orchestrated such a brilliant, calculated attack on the city of St. Louis that even Alfred Hitchcock would have blushed if he had lived to see it. Thousands died and millions more were scarred for life.

One former Cardinal fan exclaimed, "It was crazy! The sky turned black because of all the birds flying. I thought it was the Apocalypse!"

Another terrified soul said, "That was definitely the last time I rooted for St. Louis baseball. I just never knew that birds cared so much."

The attack lasted for four days, and only let up when Albert Pooholes announced that he officially changed the team name to the St. Louis Morons. The term "Moron" refers to all such people that root for St. Louis baseball teams. Thus, the city accepted this identity with open arms, as it allowed the fans and players to unite and continue their Moronic tradition, all while keeping peace-loving birds happy and attack-free.