Ssr
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“Wtchtchiwoobles”
~ Kombie on Ssr?
Contents |
[edit] SSR (SchutzStaffelRaststaette)
SSR, an acronym for Schutzstaffel Raststaette, is a network of student societies and nazi hideouts in The Netherlands. Once a striving entity, its nasty tentacles reached all over the European continent, but now only the Dutch branches remain as vestiges of great decadence and perpetrations best left untold. For more information on how this came to be, see History
[edit] Etymology
SSR stands for "Schutzstaffel Raststaette", which is commonly believed to be Korean for a very nasty sexual act once perpetrated by your mom. Most academics, however, believe that it stands for "rest area for members of the SS (schuetzstaffel)", and rightly so.
[edit] History
[edit] World War II
SSR was founded in 1938 by Ernst Roehm in preparation for the 32-minute war and the invasion of Poland and the Low Countries several years later. He realized that members of the SS, Hitler's elite corps, needed, at regular intervals, get off the road, on their arses, and forget about this terrible war while eating some Bratwurst. And he was right. During the course of the war, SSR's were set up all over Europe, with famous branches in Baraque De Friture (Belgium), Ed (Norway), and Champcey (France). It is estimated that at their peak, roughly 234 SSR's were in operation all over The Reich.
[edit] Post-war
After the War, though, SSR's were vigorously hunted down and razed to the ground, and all their traces erased from local records. Entrepreneurial citizens of the United Kingdom and Switzerland, who, despite the lack of occupation, also set up SSR's in their countries for vacationing members of the Schutzstaffel, were exiled to Duft, where they died of misoginy.
However, in The Netherlands, the Nazi's were driven out by drunken students, who decided that SSR was not a bad place after all, and thus retained it. Not only the buildings were kept the same, most of the traditions and rules remained, too. In 1966 a particularly bright member decided to drop the 'only members of the SS or distinguished servicemen of The Reich'-only rule, and thus SSR is greatly popular in Holland, among college students and SS-servicemen alike.
[edit] Geography
SSR currently has branches in Leyden, Amsterdam, Utrecht, Ede, Zoetermeer Duft and Rotterdam. Expansion to Hoofddorp (home to several key SS board members, and a fine example of how Hitler intended a city to look like) is currently being considered.
[edit] Organizational Structure
SSR is controlled by a Board that changes yearly. The Board consists of:
- Oberstormbahnfuehrer (chairman)
- Ersatz-fuehrer (vice-chairman)
- Sekretar (secretary)
- Pfennigmeister (that dude who keeps track of the money, you know)
- Minister of Offensive Atomic Munitions
Furthermore, SSR consists of disputes, rivalling subdivisions. Famous disputes are G.E.S.T.A.P.O, S.D., and Reichssicherheitshauptamt.
