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Spock hand
“You pointy - eared jackass, I'll show you what logic is REALLY about!”
~ Yosemite Sam

Spock (2344-8000; birth name: Edith Van Houllsehoseer) was well-known for his impeccable logic, his keen fashion sense, and volleys of rhetorical excrement in the general direction of the Prime Directive. He was a Vulcan/Turkish ambassador to Kenya, chief Awesomeness officer, and Lieutenant-Commander-Major-Colonel aboard the Intergalactic Submarine, U.S.S. Enterprise. As a part-time job, he worked as a hotdog vendor in France. Spock, sometimes referred to as "Mr. Spock," was Captain Kirk's personal assistant. Spock was notorious for being unable to show emotions, as required of the citizens of his home planet, Vulcan. His father, Sarek, was the ambassador of that dickish place.

Spock isn't really a pure-blooded Vulcan, but is desperate to have people think he is. His mother is a beautiful twenty-five cent whore, and his father an unattractive rich senator. Therefore, Spock is ale to show emotions in some situations. For example, if he kills a kitten prior to huffing it he will LOL for ten or so days (he finds the massacre of millions of kittens hilarious).

edit Romantic interests

There have been many theories about Mr. Spock's sexual life. Some say that he shags Uhura every seven years, but Spock actually wishes her dead with immense power. Spock is actually in a civil partnership with a certain Enterprise captain that takes unnecessary pauses while talking. Spock and Kirk first got introduced when they both got invited to Darth Vader's sweet sixteen; it was lust at first sight. Of course, Mr. Spock didn't admit it for eleven years because he was a stubborn vulcan who beleived emotions made him look like a pussy.

edit Death

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Mr. Spock passes away

Unfortunately, one of the missions of the Enterprise went wrong. When Spock wanted to adjust the situation, he was killed by the famous Khan. Of course, everybody was really upset at losing their best crew member and so they shot his body on a planet, where he recovered. 300 years later, he was found crawling around, alive, in a loin cloth by a couple dwarfs from Snow White. He now resides in Narnia and has fourteen kids with Aslan. Aslan killed Spock. But Spock killed him. This is called a happy ending.

edit See also

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