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Spock hand

I'll be back!

“You pointy - eared jackass, I'll show you what logic is REALLY about!”
~ Yosemite Sam

Spock (2344-1986; birth name: Edith Van Houllsehoseer) was well-known for his impeccable logic, keen fashion sense, and baritone singing voice. He was the arch mage of the Enterprise, and second in command aboard the Intergalactic Submarine, U.S.S. Enterprise, even when he was promoted to be her captain. Spock was notorious for being unable to show emotions, as required of the citizens of his home planet, Vulcan. His father, Sarek was the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, while his mother was an English teacher from Earth who filled his head with useless fiction prior to achieving into unconsciousness every Vulcan solar rotation.

Being only half hobogoblin, Spock is thus able to show emotions in some situations. For example, when he mind melds prisoners without a psychic search warrant, Spock will usually start squinting and provide keen psychological insight whiles the suspect starts to loudly scream just how happy this makes them feel.

edit Romantic interests

There have been many theories about Mr. Spock's sexual life. Some say that every seven years he shags Uhura or a certain Enterprise captain that takes unnecessary pauses; but Spock is actually in a civil partnership with a certain emotionless psychic alien into fetish fashions. Spock and Manhunter first got introduced when they both got invited to Darth Vader's sweet sixteen; it was lust at first sight. Of course, Mr. Spock didn't admit it for eleven years because Vulcans have cold green blood and shed no tears from their extra eye lids.

edit Death

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Mr. Spock passes away

Spock died in the line of duty on Stardate 8130.3, securing a radiation leak, during a ship to ship phaser exchange with Khan. Luckily the photon torpedo casings can survive reentry and his corpse fell safely inside its celestial coffin onto the Genesis planet, where he rapidly aged backwards than forwards again into a different actor, allowing his katra to sit in the director's chair. Alive, and mind and body one again, Spock recovered on Vulcan, before going back in time to the eighties with the crew of the Enterprise to prevent the extinction of humpback whales, because an alien drone ship was ransoming Earth for their own Sea World. The sinister space cylinder was so highly advanced it could destroy the planet and was impervious to the federations mightiest weapons, but it couldn't go back in time by going warp speed around the sun like they did in a Klingon bird of prey. Inevitably, the mission failed and the Enterprise crew ended up stranded back in time. They all died during the Eugenics Wars of the 1990's and 300 years later the Earth was destroyed right on schedule by a flying can of tuna.

edit See also

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