Split infinitive

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“To ever use split infinitives is BAD.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Split infinitives

To properly construct a split infinitive, one has to immediately insert an adverb between the suffix and the verb to consequently build.

The use of the split infinitive is a controversial grammatical form used to greatly add emphasis on a speech or piece of literature. It is highly debated because to frequently use the split infinitive may lead the audience to widely believe the author to greatly be ineloquent.

To correctly react when encountering such form of language, one should be careful not to overly overreact. It is widely believed by most experts[citation needed] that to vehemently cry out is fairly pointless. Instead, the correct behavior is to silently ignore the offending lecturer or author. This usually leads the author to quickly correct his faulty language.

edit Linguistic origins

The first use of a split infinitive seems to commonly have originated from Old English. In the 300 BC text "Howe to properlæ fuke ðyne cowes" (a treatise that describes how to effectively breed cattle), there are several instances of split infinitives that are employed to accurately describe the technical process.

edit Further studies

To further study the subject, it is possible to eventually try to inappropriately have sex with your partner while speaking sentences with a split infinitive - although it appears obvious that there are more important thing to widely split (note the double split) during these occasions.

You don't have to only split your infinitives with a single adverb each time. It's fun to cleverly and creatively fit more than one adverb in there or to, if you like, use whole adverbial or prepositional phrases. You could even try to, in order to more interestingly split infinitives, nest one inside another.

edit Improper use of split infinitives

On a first date, burly bearded men shouldn't say : "It's time to promptly suck my dick, bitch!". It may sound obvious, but the split infinitive here is totally inappropriate. Instead, it is more effective to subtly spike the drink, at which point, the burly bearded man can start to violently rape his victim at will without any risk of having the neighbors burst into the apartment to valiantly save the helpless fifteen year old virgin - but most importantly without taking the risk to wrongly use a split infinitive while speaking sweet words to his new conquest.

edit Star Trek

“To boldly go where no one has gone before”
~ Various Star trek Captains on female conquests

This is most commonly known form of a split infinitive. If the Star Trek guys didn't come up with this, no one would have been aware of split infinitives and, consequently, I wouldn't have had the idea to stupidly write this, and the world would have probably been a better place to happily live.

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