Split (city)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Split (city).

Split was founded ages before first episode of Dynasty was filmed, and as the name says it was the centre of astronautics long before first Sony play station console was developed. It's founder Diocletian, Roman part time emperor was planning to build his country house where he could spend his weekends without concerning himself with things like: starvation of Antarctic troops, lack of water for his cabbages, or invasion of barbarian hordes on his beloved Christian friends living along the border...

edit Why here

Although his city Salona was his favorite place, Avars couldn't tolerate incompetent post-office workers, crab smugglers and semi-literate rednecks in the neighbourhood, so it didn't come as a surprise when a modified Borg cube that 2 years ago stranded somewhere in Bosnia appeared on horizon, repainted and ready to strike the impotents! This act of destruction just enlarged Split (Spalato) as population decided to move in the only house in town. We repeat - "The rumor about hidden wine cellars in Diocletian's place had nothing to do with this strange migration" - as was then stated by "Roman World Weekly" magazine.

edit Bright future


Croatian tour guide for foreigners, clearly displaying hospitality and kindness Split folk tend to display

Years passed and Split along with Croatia (that green spot on the right from Italy that calls itself a country) was conquered more than dozen times and finally emerged as independentorious under the rule of great Serbia (another green spot, a little more to the right, and a little bit bigger than the last one, but getting smaller every year). There it was proudly exploited until the war for independence where it was crippled (apparently it's tourism, economy, politics, people,alcohol industry, and donkey population suffered). Therefore the next president decided to move in a few donkeys to improve the morale of Split's citizens...

edit The most beautiful city in the world

This is another name for Split. Its own citizens have named it, and don't argue: You'll lose, and you'll have your head broken. Only residents are permitted to insult Split.

edit See also

Split firefighter top

"This article or section should be split into
Banana and split,
because that will make it easier to surround
the enemy, or something like that."
            ~ Sun-Tzu

Split firefighter bottom

Personal tools