User:DaDopeboy/Splinter Cell

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

< User:DaDopeboy(Redirected from Splinter Cell)
Jump to: navigation, search

Splinter cell, is a general term of agent, SEAL, SOF, spy, and every stuff like that. Since the establishment of United Nation, every single nations around the world started to possess their own splinter cell units. Most of splinter cells are working underground and keep holding their nations to survive. Your country have splinter cells too. You may never know that they are the main cause of every conflicts, diplomatic issues, starvation, ecocides, assassinations, happening everyday in somewhere in this globe.

edit Roots

It is no exaggration to say that every nations surviving this world now have been receiving massive support from their splinter cells everyday. After the end of WWII, American and Jewish intelligence in the U.S., who had exhausted by the war against Nazi-Germany, decided to hold every governments around the world so there can be no power anymore which could threat U.S.' retainment. But the world system wasn't easy as "New World Order" conspiracy tells. Many nations such as China, Soviet, France, Czech, Argentina, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia have deployed their own splinter cells faster enough than U.S., and that was the casus velli of the cold war.

Your textbook saying that there was NO slaughter and fighting happened in the cold war. But it's a lie. Guess what, splinter cells were fighting very hard for your country.

Every nations were involved on battle. Notable battles are in Korean peninsula, Vietnam, and Yemen, which turned to conventional warfare in 1950, 1959, and 1994 respectively.

edit Splinter Cells around the world

Yes. Im gonna tell you the DEFCON 2 level top secret materials. Here's the list of notable splinter cells around the world.

Note: This list relates to a bloody Wikipedian article List of special forces units. Its made by my conscientious individual investigation.

edit Afghanistan

  • Taliban - Typical splinter cell which have revealed their existence.

edit Argentina

  • Rapid Deployment Force - their quick deployment of General Manuel Baquedano, lead Chile to victory against Bolivia so Bolivia lost the coastal territory and became a poor nation.
  • Grupo Alacrán - controlling Bolivia and Chile government to keep communism in Latin America.
  • Grupo Albatros - controlling mass to hate U.S.

edit Australia

  • SASR (Special Aid Supplier Rednecks) - exporting drugs & dopes to Indonesia and keep threating the nation.
  • 1st Commando Regiment
  • 2nd Commando Regiment

edit Azerbaijan

  • Pələng Xüsusi Təyinatli Dəstə (Tigers Special Forces) - physically controling the Azerbaijani citizens to hate Armenia & Iran. Also controlling Nakhchivan citizens

edit Brazil

  • Brigada de Operações Especiais (Special Operations Brigade) - physically contrilling the mass to fuckin' love football, basically the most boring & easiest sport ever
  • Para-SAR - the strongest football team ever in the world, physically controlling the foregin teams to make them a lot weaker against Brazil

edit Brunei

  • Special Force Regiment - this is the reason of Brunei government can hold oil money from American corporation's advance

edit Canada

  • Joint Task Force 2 (JTF2) - theyre defending Quebec citizens from Al-Qaeda thoughts so theres not much terrors in Canada
  • Canadian Special Operations Regiment

edit P.R. China

  • People's Liberation Army Special Operations Forces - They forces every different races to speak Chinese, to live with Beijing standard time zone (UTC +8), and pray Mao.
  • 5-min Response Unit (Hong Kong) 5% of population in Hong Kong is assembled with this.
  • Quick Reaction Platoon (Macau) 10% of casino population is assembled with this. They're also sending Spec Ops. to Vegas and win every games to gain money.
  • Special Operations Forces Battalion - The biggest splinter cell ever. Working across the globe including Iraq and Antartica to protect their toy industry.

edit Croatia

  • Bojna za specijalna djelovanja

edit Cyprus

  • Underwater Demolition Command - keeping Turks away from the island

edit Egypt

  • Unit 777 or Egyptian Task Force 777 - Spec Ops. guarding Pyramid from tourists & historians who try to reveal it's secret.
  • Egyptian Navy SEALs - do the same thing with the above one

edit Finland

  • Finnish Border Guard - their latest Spec ops is working as a breakwater against communism rage

edit France

edit Djibouti

"We have just entered through the rear flank of Djibouti, we are advancing through the canyons of Djibouti, we are passing by the natural gas exporting station of Djibouti"

-Last transmission from the splinter cell unit stationd in Djibouti.

"I flanked your mother last night Trebeck HA HA HA HA"

-Sean Connery

Personal tools
projects