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A spice is a toxic (or at least what some may be compared to) usually used to add flavor, color, and preservation to your children. Sometimes, spices are even used to trick people into consuming meat in which some societies frown upon on consumption. For example, a Chinese restaurant may serve you dog with spices overdosed into the recipe to make the dog meat taste like chicken. Some might even start killing their own dogs to make chicken-flavored puppy meat. Nevermind, THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING. I'm sorry.

Spices are the similar to herbs, or are herbs similar to spices?

Many spices have poisonous properties. This explains why spices are sometimes used in hazardous climates, which have more infectious disease than a regular climate, and why use of spices is odd if used in your vegetable salad, which is no doubt already terrible.

A spice may or still be used as a tool of medicine, religious ritual, perfume products, shampoo, insect repellent, gunpowder, torcher tools, and a weapon of mass destruction.

Classification and types

  • Dried fruit or seeds, such as raisins, must-turd, and zazz.
  • Arils, such as dried and diced mace.
  • Barks, such as palm tree bark and a dog's way off communication.
  • Dried flower buds, only when burnt to the crisp and sprinkled with cinnamon.

Common genetically spliced spices

Original spice boy

The original Spice Boy.

  • Advil, and this is indeed a spice. Mutated in Iran.
  • Baharat or something like that.
  • Barbie
  • Chaat masala, commonly not consumed by Americans because it sounds Muslim.
  • Chili powder, a sprinkle chili that was crushed with a swift thrust a batter.
  • Curry powder, used to add flavor to your fish.
  • Five-spice powder. Made in China.
  • Jerk spice, usually an asshole towards other spices.
  • Spice Girls, a mix between a spice and a group of female humans.
  • Spice Boys, a mix between a spice and a group of male humans.


Ancient Spices

Spices were being used as early as 10,000 days ago. A great trade also occurred where upon a contest to see which country was "spicier" was active and caused many wars. It was also during this time where upon racism was invented.

It is notable that the Egyptians sprinkled a tint of spice over while embalming, in case someone got hungry in the future, or during mummification. Similarly, in People's Republic of China, spice was used to flavor the five foods of their people; rice, cat, dog, and everything nice. Then they accidentally spilled Chemical X.

It has also been discovered, that not only has Syria had the first people to walk civilized, but also had spices in their diet. Soon after, archaeologists unearthed Roman spices, but they came after Syrians so not much attention was payed towards the matter.

In the Story of Genesis, Joseph was sold into slavery for some spices. This proved to be a huge ripoff.

Mexico also participated in early world spice trades, claiming they had the spiciest tacos. However, the Mexicans failed to make any profit. This profit, still appears as an economic problem today.


The poison ivy spice


Medieval Spices

The Medieval Spices were not much different than the Ancient Spices. However, more spices were discovered, and various shit happens. One example includes the origin of humors in food. Whatever that means.

Early Modern Era Spices

In the early modern era of spices, some important events occurred. Christopher Columbus rubbed new spices in his ass and claimed he found India, which was wrongly assumed. Columbus in fact discovered AMURICA instead. The estimate was way off, more than the lasagne estimate. Christopher Columbus was off by a whopping 102º'.

It was during this time when the competition over spices kicked back into action. Of course, now America was involved in this war over spices. With their chocolate, cotton, vanilla, weed, and tobacco, America was a prominent force in the trade of spices and other goodies during the 19th century.

Soon, Columbus would start to make the tribal leaders of the Indians mad, claiming "Finders keepers, losers weepers".

See also

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