Spice

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A '''spice''' is a toxic (or at least what some may be compared to) usually used to add flavor, color, and preservation to your children. Sometimes, spices are even used to trick people into consuming meat in which some societies [[bad|frown upon]] on consumption. For example, a Chinese restaurant may serve you dog with spices overdosed into the recipe to make the dog meat taste like [[chicken]]. Some might even start killing their own dogs to make chicken-flavored puppy meat. ''Nevermind, '''THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING'''. I'm sorry.''
+
A '''spice''' is a toxic substance usually used to add flavor, color, and preservation to your children. Sometimes, spices are even used to trick people into consuming meat that the consumption of is frowned upon. For example, a Chinese restaurant may serve you dog with copious quantities of spices added to the recipe to make the dog meat taste like [[chicken]]. Some might even start killing their own dogs to make chicken-flavored puppy meat.
   
Spices are the similar to herbs, or are herbs similar to spices?
+
''Never mind, '''THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING'''''.
   
Many spices have [[poison|poisonous]] properties. This explains why spices are sometimes used in hazardous climates, which have '''''more''''' infectious disease than a regular climate, and why use of spices is odd if used in your vegetable salad, which is no doubt already [[disgust|terrible]].
+
I'm sorry.
   
A spice may or still be used as a tool of [[medicine]], [[Religious|religious ritual]], [[Smelly Snatch Syndrome|perfume products]], [[UnNews:Shampoo is better|shampoo]], [[Insect|insect repellent]], [[gun|gunpowder]], [[kill|torcher tools]], and a [[weapon of mass destruction]].
+
Spices are similar to herbs. (Or are herbs similar to spices?)
  +
  +
Many spices have [[poison|poisonous]] properties. This explains why spices are sometimes used in hazardous climates, which have more infectious diseases per capita than a regular climate, and why the use of spices is odd if they are used in your vegetable salad, which is no doubt already [[disgust|terrible]].
  +
  +
A spice may still be used in [[medicine]], [[Religious|religious ritual]], [[Smelly Snatch Syndrome|perfume products]], [[UnNews:Shampoo is better|shampoo]], [[Insect|insect repellent]], [[gun|gunpowder]], [[kill|torture]], and [[weapon of mass destruction|mass destruction]].
   
 
==Classification and types==
 
==Classification and types==
*[[Fruit|Dried fruit or seeds]], such as raisins, [[mustard|must-turd]], and zazz.
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*[[Fruit|Dried fruit or seeds]] (such as raisins, [[mustard|must-turd]], and zazz)
*Arils, such as dried and diced mace.
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*Arils (such as dried and diced mace)
*Barks, such as palm tree bark and a dog's way off [[communication]].
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*Barks (such as palm tree bark and the canine method of [[communication]])
*Dried flower buds, only when burnt to the crisp and sprinkled with cinnamon.
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*Dried flower buds (when burnt to the crisp and sprinkled with cinnamon)
   
 
==Common genetically spliced spices==
 
==Common genetically spliced spices==
 
[[Image:Original spice boy.jpg|thumb|right|244px|The original [[Spice Boys|Spice Boy]].]]
 
[[Image:Original spice boy.jpg|thumb|right|244px|The original [[Spice Boys|Spice Boy]].]]
*Advil, and this is indeed a spice. Mutated in Iran.
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*Advil (this is indeed a spice, and it mutated in Iran)
*Baharat or something like that.
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*Baharat (or something like that)
 
*Barbie
 
*Barbie
*Chaat masala, commonly not consumed by Americans because it sounds [[Muslim]].
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*Chaat masala (commonly not consumed by Americans because it sounds [[Muslim]])
*Chili powder, a sprinkle chili that was crushed with a swift thrust a batter.
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*Chilli powder
*Curry powder, used to add flavor to your [[fish]].
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*Curry powder (used to add flavor to your [[fish]])
*Five-spice powder. Made in [[China]].
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*Four-spice powder (made in [[China]])
*[[Bully|Jerk spice]], usually an [[asshole]] towards other spices.
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*[[Bully|Jerk spice]] (usually an [[asshole]] towards other spices)
*[[Spice Girls]], a mix between a spice and a group of [[female]] [[humans]].
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*[[Spice Girls]] (a mix between a spice and a group of [[female]] [[humans]])
*[[Spice Boys]], a mix between a spice and a group of [[male]] humans.
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*[[Spice Boys]] (a mix between a spice and a group of [[male]] humans)
   
 
==History==
 
==History==
===Ancient Spices===
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===Ancient spices===
Spices were being used as early as [[10,000 days]] ago. A great trade also occurred where upon a contest to see which country was "spicier" was active and caused many [[wars]]. It was also during this time where upon [[racism]] was invented.
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Spices were being used as early as [[10,000 days]] ago. A contest to see which country was "spicier" was in place and caused many [[wars]]. It was also during this time that [[racism]] was invented.
   
It is notable that the [[Egyptians]] sprinkled a tint of spice over while embalming, in case someone got hungry in the future, or during [[Mummies|mummification]]. Similarly, in [[People's Republic of China]], spice was used to flavor the five foods of their people; [[rice]], [[cat]], [[dog]], [[Powerpuff Girls|and everything nice]]. Then they accidentally spilled [[My Chemical Romance|Chemical X]].
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It is notable that the [[Egyptians]] often sprinkled pinches of spices. This was because someone had become a tiny bit hungry, or because the spices were being used in [[Mummies|mummification]], as per the ancient Egyptians' customs. Similarly, in the [[People's Republic of China]], spice was used to flavor the four foods that were available: [[rice]], [[cats]], [[dogs]], [[Powerpuff Girls|and everything nice]]. Then, [[My Chemical Romance|Chemical X]] was customarily spilled.
   
It has also been discovered, that not only has [[Syria]] had the first people to walk civilized, but also had spices in their diet. Soon after, archaeologists unearthed [[Roman Empire|Roman]] spices, but they came after Syrians so not much attention was payed towards the matter.
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It has also been discovered that not only did [[Syria]] have the first people to walk in a civilised manner, it also had the first people to incorporate spices into their diet. Soon after that discovery, archaeologists unearthed [[Roman Empire|Roman]] spices. However, they weren't as old as Syrian spices, so little attention was payed to the matter.
   
In the [[Genesis|Story of Genesis]], [[Joseph]] was sold into [[slavery]] for some spices. This proved to be a huge [[ripoff]].
+
In [[Genesis]], [[Joseph]] was sold into [[slavery]] for some spices. This proved to be a huge [[ripoff]].
   
[[Mexico]] also participated in early world spice trades, claiming they had the spiciest tacos. However, the Mexicans failed to make any profit. This profit, still appears as an [[Poor|economic problem]] today.
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[[Mexico]] also participated in the early spice trade, claiming they had the spiciest tacos. However, the Mexicans failed to make any profit. The lingering effects of this problem still appear to be present in Mexico's economic climate today.
   
[[Image:PoisonIvy.jpg|thumb|left|180px|The poison ivy spice]].
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[[Image:PoisonIvy.jpg|thumb|left|180px|The poison ivy spice.]]
   
===Medieval Spices===
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===Medieval spices===
The Medieval Spices were not much different than the Ancient Spices. However, more spices were discovered, and various shit happens. One example includes the origin of [[humor|humors]] in food. Whatever that means.
+
Medieval spices weren't much different from ancient spices. However, more spices were discovered, and various shit happened. One example includes the origin of [[humor|humors]] in food. Whatever that means.
   
==Early Modern Era Spices==
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===Early Modern Era spices===
In the early modern era of spices, some important events occurred. [[Christopher Columbus]] rubbed new spices in his [[ass]] and claimed he found [[India]], which was wrongly assumed. Columbus in fact discovered [[United States of America|AMURICA]] instead. The estimate was way off, more than the [[Your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagne|lasagne estimate]]. Christopher Columbus was off by a '''''whopping 102º''''''.
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In the early modern era, some significant events occurred relating to the history of spices. [[Christopher Columbus]] rubbed new spices in his [[ass]] and claimed he found [[India]]. Columbus had in fact discovered the [[United States of America]]. His estimate was way off, more than [[your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagne]]. It was off by a '''''whopping 102º'''''.
   
It was during this time when the competition over spices kicked back into action. Of course, now [[Troops|America]] was involved in this war over spices. With their [[chocolate]], [[cotton]], [[vanilla]], [[weed]], and [[Tobacco industry|tobacco]], America was a prominent force in the trade of spices and other goodies during the 19th century.
+
It was during this time when the competition over spices kicked back into action. Of course, [[Troops|America]] was now involved in this war over spices. With their [[chocolate]], [[cotton]], [[vanilla]], [[weed]], and [[Tobacco industry|tobacco]], America was a prominent force in the trade of spices and other goodies during the 19th century.
   
Soon, Columbus would start to make the tribal leaders of the Indians mad, claiming "Finders keepers, losers weepers".
+
Soon, Columbus would begin angering the Indians over his stance on their spices, claiming "Finders keepers, losers weepers".
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==

Latest revision as of 15:27, December 25, 2012

A spice is a toxic substance usually used to add flavor, color, and preservation to your children. Sometimes, spices are even used to trick people into consuming meat that the consumption of is frowned upon. For example, a Chinese restaurant may serve you dog with copious quantities of spices added to the recipe to make the dog meat taste like chicken. Some might even start killing their own dogs to make chicken-flavored puppy meat.

Never mind, THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.

I'm sorry.

Spices are similar to herbs. (Or are herbs similar to spices?)

Many spices have poisonous properties. This explains why spices are sometimes used in hazardous climates, which have more infectious diseases per capita than a regular climate, and why the use of spices is odd if they are used in your vegetable salad, which is no doubt already terrible.

A spice may still be used in medicine, religious ritual, perfume products, shampoo, insect repellent, gunpowder, torture, and mass destruction.

edit Classification and types

  • Dried fruit or seeds (such as raisins, must-turd, and zazz)
  • Arils (such as dried and diced mace)
  • Barks (such as palm tree bark and the canine method of communication)
  • Dried flower buds (when burnt to the crisp and sprinkled with cinnamon)

edit Common genetically spliced spices

Original spice boy
The original Spice Boy.
  • Advil (this is indeed a spice, and it mutated in Iran)
  • Baharat (or something like that)
  • Barbie
  • Chaat masala (commonly not consumed by Americans because it sounds Muslim)
  • Chilli powder
  • Curry powder (used to add flavor to your fish)
  • Four-spice powder (made in China)
  • Jerk spice (usually an asshole towards other spices)
  • Spice Girls (a mix between a spice and a group of female humans)
  • Spice Boys (a mix between a spice and a group of male humans)

edit History

edit Ancient spices

Spices were being used as early as 10,000 days ago. A contest to see which country was "spicier" was in place and caused many wars. It was also during this time that racism was invented.

It is notable that the Egyptians often sprinkled pinches of spices. This was because someone had become a tiny bit hungry, or because the spices were being used in mummification, as per the ancient Egyptians' customs. Similarly, in the People's Republic of China, spice was used to flavor the four foods that were available: rice, cats, dogs, and everything nice. Then, Chemical X was customarily spilled.

It has also been discovered that not only did Syria have the first people to walk in a civilised manner, it also had the first people to incorporate spices into their diet. Soon after that discovery, archaeologists unearthed Roman spices. However, they weren't as old as Syrian spices, so little attention was payed to the matter.

In Genesis, Joseph was sold into slavery for some spices. This proved to be a huge ripoff.

Mexico also participated in the early spice trade, claiming they had the spiciest tacos. However, the Mexicans failed to make any profit. The lingering effects of this problem still appear to be present in Mexico's economic climate today.

PoisonIvy
The poison ivy spice.

edit Medieval spices

Medieval spices weren't much different from ancient spices. However, more spices were discovered, and various shit happened. One example includes the origin of humors in food. Whatever that means.

edit Early Modern Era spices

In the early modern era, some significant events occurred relating to the history of spices. Christopher Columbus rubbed new spices in his ass and claimed he found India. Columbus had in fact discovered the United States of America. His estimate was way off, more than your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagne. It was off by a whopping 102º.

It was during this time when the competition over spices kicked back into action. Of course, America was now involved in this war over spices. With their chocolate, cotton, vanilla, weed, and tobacco, America was a prominent force in the trade of spices and other goodies during the 19th century.

Soon, Columbus would begin angering the Indians over his stance on their spices, claiming "Finders keepers, losers weepers".

edit See also

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