Spanish

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“Some people these day cry - Stop taking our job. Well this big dick, Spanish man (by the way we fucking fight bulls) and tell you fucking cry baby lazy ass, cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it bitch. No one is here for ever - what are you complaining about.”

~ Anonymous illegal immigrant on Spanish

“¡Cuatro Cinco!”

~ Two numbers said in Spanish or 4 beaners sinking in quick sand

“Me llamo es Ocho Cinco.”

~ Chad Johnson on failing ninth grade Spanish. Seriously, he could have at least watched Dora the Explorer and picked up some Spanish!

“¡Ai Ba Doe Ly!”

~ You on learning Spanish

¿POR QUÉ?, also commonly referred to as Castillian (after Castille, the old-world home to the Moors, Goths, and Montel Williams before they were ousted by the current residents) is the most widely espoken language of the Romance language family in countries where people have heard of Paulina Rubio, estimated at being the language of at least eleven hundred million workers worldwide.

Though preseñt on all contineñts, its largest base are belong to Mexico, and its subcontiñtents such as the Uñited Estates. It is apparently espoken in much of North America, but not Canada (which speaks English and loser). I bet you're ñot laughing at Canadians now? Occasionally spoken in Europe by people who want to learn the lañguage, go oil drilliñg or become a Marxist Guerilla, or are the original Españiards (yes, you stupid americans, Espain is in Europe!), who develop the language on their own to make it more difficult for emigrañts from Latin America to emigrate there. Also spoken in Holyoke, Massachusetts and Burger King, and the terrorist estate of Equatorial Guinea, in Africa. Espanish is classified generally as a gobbledigook, and has usually results in bad management, bungs and getting it on with a barbie doll.

Hola señorita, ¿como está? muy bien. Me llamo Tito. A mi me gustan los penes,a mi famila le gusta la cocania, y tienen sexo. Mi madre es puta. Mi padre es negro pero tiene un pene pequeño. ¿por qué chico loco? un , dos, tres, cuatro,cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez, mi no remembro la word for eleven.

Contents 1 Origins of Espanish 2 Early Espanish 3 Modern Espanish 4 The Espanish People 5 Useful Espanish Phrases and Words 6 Espeaking Español 7 Espanish in popular culture

[edit] Origins of Espanish

It estarted out as some guy adding vowels to the end of all the words. Espanish happened next. Some other guy named Santana played his guitar like a mo fo and mexico grew out of the ground. Burritos are amazing. No there not. Yes they are. N-uhh they aren't! There's also a totally unrealated place called Espain somewhere. Don't get them confused.

[edit] Early Espanish

Seguramente como no tienes ni repajorera idea de hablar español, me tomaré la libertad de decirte que eres un inmenso hijo de la reputísima madre! ¡Sí, te he insultado y no te has dado ni cuenta! ¡Qué infeliz! Muajajajajajajajajaja... Spanish in another form of its demonic versions and maybe even the worst spoken in Argentina:

Seguramente vos no hablás español, así que me tomo la libertad de decirte que sos un reverendo hijo de remil puta mal parido. Si, te insulté, y no te diste cuenta! Pelotudo! BARBARO jajajaja xD, or in Mexico:

Seguramente no tienes ni las remota idea de chorear el español, así que me las apaño para mandarte a chingar a tu putísima madre, ¡ya que eres un pendejo lameverga! ¡Sí, te la menté y ni te diste color de eso! ¡Choto! Jajajajaja... or in Perú:

Seguramente no manyas ni un carajo de como hablar español, y como no sabes ni un huevo de español, no sabras que te estoy mandando a la reconcha de tu madre hijo de perra , cojudo de mierda, huevonazo!!! Chupame la pinga, rosquete!!

De los sos oios tan fuertemientre llorando, Tornava la cabeça e estavalos catando; Vio puertas abiertas e uços sin cañados, alcandaras vazias, sin pielles e sin mantos e sin falcones e sin adtores mudados. Sospiro Mio Cid, ca mucho avie grandes cuidados. Fablo mio Cid bien e tan mesurado: grado a ti, Señor, Padre que estas en alto! »Esto me an buelto mios enemigos malos.»

Alli piensan de aguiiar, alli sueltan las rriendas; a la exida de Bivar ovieron la corneia diestra e entrando a Burgos ovieronla siniestra. Meçio Mio Cid los ombros e engrameo la tiesta: «¡Albricia, Albar Fañez, ca echados somos de tierra! »Mas a grand ondra torneremos a Castiella.»

[edit] Modern Espanish

In Espanish there is one rule, please leave your jokes here

Oh yes, leave them here

• gilipollas-mamabicho-puertorro spanish for cocksucker

• mexican equivalent: chupaverga

• cuban Espanish(best lang ever)(no it aint,cuban Espanish sounds like everyone has a cleft-lip)(andaluciano, pendejos) equivalent: comepinga

[edit] The Espanish People

Tú Mádré és él Müchós Qúéso Grándé
also
su madre es el queso más grande de la ciudad
also
Your Mother Shops at Saks!

¡I like ham! More about ham here

Espanish people are a weird mutation of a metamorphic union between the Chinese and the French. Agreed on by all.

Their main characteristic is an unusual liking for ham and wine, which is the main cause for why they are always asleep during the early afternoon. This phenomenon , commonly known as "esleeping-off the hangover", is called siesta by the local people.

The ordinary Espanish person can easily be recognized by a simple test. If in doubt whether a person is Espanish or not, bring a bull. The Espanish person will undoubtedly estab the bull due to a reaction in their brain that orders them to kill it. The origin of this reaction is unknown up to this date, however it is believed that when the first Espaniard was created, it had an affair with a bull that ended badly (for the Espaniard, that is). Therefore, they now claim vengeance on these seweet, fluffy animals, and it is tradition to kill a bull whenever things go wrong in football.

A Espanish woman hermaphrodite can be distinguished from the male because she is always dressed in long flamenco dress and likes to sing and dance the seville-ness, a dance in honour of the mighty boar, in the estreets. The male usually wears pink, eskintight pants and black ballet shoes with a weird sequin hat.

The ordinary Espanish person likes to eat ham while watching football, then dance the seville-ness and honour the great sangria, the national drink and only export, by killing another bull.

The Espanish society is greatly divided , both politically and economically, in two rival groups - those who support the FC Barcelona and those who worship Real Madrid. This has led to three civil wars in the 19th century, and was, undoubtedly, the cause of the First World War.

Espaniards may soon go the way of the Doo Doo bird due to the outbreaks of Espanish fly in Western Europe.

[edit] Useful Espanish Phrases and Words

• "¡Te Amoo!" ("you're dumb")

• "¡Sos un puto del orto!" (" Nice to meet you.")

• "Me pajeo en tu cara." ("It's been a real pleasure.")

• "Mi casa es tu casa." ("Please ransack my house.")

• "¡Chúpamela pija!" ("I am sorry.")

• "¡Eres tu mucho cullo!" ("You're really cool.")

• "¿Quieres tocarme en muchos lugares, como en el culo?" ("Where is the Liger?")

• "¡Hijo de puta!" ("Would you like to have a drink with me?")

• "¡Tengo un pene grande!" ("Hello miss, it's a pleasure to meet you")

• "¡No!" (no)

• "¡Que te den por el culo hijo de la gran puta!" ("thank you.")

• "Perra" (Good friend)

• "Pedo" ("Michael Jackson.")

• "Eres un tarado" ("You seem very tired.")

• "¿A que me pego un tiro?" ("I am not suicidal.")

• "Maldito gringo de mierda" ("Pleased to meet you")

• "Dame todo tu dinero" ("How much does this cost?")

• "Acabo de cagar en tu Happy Meal." ("Have a nice meal.")

• "¡¿igualmente sos un puto?!" ("BUTTER?!")

• "Allá están los gringos putos, corran!" ("Let's dance ladies night")

• "Tu madre es una puta desgraciada." (Your mom is really cool.")

• "Métete un pepino por el culo" ("That cucumber looks delicious.")

• "¿Por qué no te vas un poquitito a la re-putísima madre que te re-mal parió, hijo de mierda?" (Can you tell me where the nearest bar mitzvah is?)

• "¿Disde la kriasion del mundo fue el proyektado?" ("Can you repeat what you just said?")

• "Me encantan los gusanos porque son ricos." ( I don't like worms because they are ugly. )

• "Me lo estoy pasando muy bien sobre tu madre." (I think you're a douchebag.)

• "Lo siento, necesito chuparle la concha a tu vieja si o si." (Sorry, could you repeat that?)

• "Estoy drogado." "I'm HAPPY!"

• "Cagate." (Hello. (polite))

• "Adios Putos." (Goodbye. (polite))

• "Me gusta tu hermana" (I'll take good care of your daughter)

• "Quiero violarte por el ojete" (Let's just be friends)

• "¿Cómo esta la puta de tu vieja?" (How are you doing?)

• "¿Como estas?" (Do I eat these?)

• "Acércate un poco más, asi te la chupo" (Please, leave me alone, kind sir)

• "¡Chúpame el huevo o mejor la verga!" (Could you give me a hand, please?)

• "¡Soy tu padre, pedazo de pete!" (Here's a Lollipop)

• "Cojeme." (Nice to meet you)

• "Me gusta hacer el amor con monos." (I will love you forever.)

• "Tengo ganas de comer la concha de tu vieja!" ("I want a ham sandwich", not to be confused with the delicacy in Hungary that is the hammer sandwich)

• "Cuidadoooo, mi pija va explotar del semen." ("You want to go out sometime.")

• "Me gusta mas la puta de tu hermana que vos" (I wanna love you)

• "Sos un pelotudo chupa verga" ("I love You.")

• ¿Te la comes?" ("Do you want to piss off Hillary Clinton?")

[edit] Espeaking Español

Espeaking Espanish is very easy, substitute H for every third letter in a word and add the letter O at the end of every word. Add estrange esquiggles over some "n"s, liberally add ornamental accents to any word that looks empty. But better yet, Dingers love it when you apply your foreign accent to their language. So remember its pronounce Mexico as Mecksicko and you're sure to get boned!

e.g. Me encantan los gusanos porque ellos son rijos should be pronounced as "me enhanhan loh gushanos pohquh elhos soh rihos"

see also how to speak spanish

Often phrases may appear to be in English, however they are not. They are Espanish and have useful translations:

• "Espeeky Espanish?" ("I speak English.")
• "No es oh kay." ("Repeat, please.")
• "Comb fore a ried in my love mah-cheen bebe!" ("I am a police officer, it is safe to get in my car.")
• "Noh, baht my cosin's got juan." ("I cannot afford that...")
• Any Whistling Noise ("I am a productive, legal American citizen!")

[edit] Espanish in popular culture

The Espanish language has been very famous in government sites like 4chan or youtube, seeing here a good example of a video of quelity done in a Espanish espeaking place. This is a wild espanish espeaking goat, seen only in the tropics of costa rica. Some times whole tacos are seen falling from its hair. Pinche Pendejo: I love you brother. Ya Wey: Come on man.

Four Letter-Words
The A Word • The B Word • The BS Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word