Spanish

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“Some people these day cry - Stop taking our job. Well this big dick, Spanish man (by the way we fucking fight bulls) and tell you fucking cry baby lazy ass, cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it bitch. No one is here for ever - what are you complaining about.”

~ Anonymous illegal immigrant on Spanish

“¡Cuatro Cinco!”

~ Two numbers said in Spanish or 4 beaners sinking in quick sand

“Me llamo es Ocho Cinco.”

~ Chad Johnson on failing ninth grade Spanish. Seriously, he could have at least watched Dora the Explorer and picked up some Spanish!

“¡Yo soy un BEANER! ¡Damn Asians! ¡DEE DEE DEE!”

~ Carlos Mencia on Spanish

“¡Ai Ba Doe Ly!”

~ You on learning Spanish

¿POR QUÉ?, also commonly referred to as Castillian (after Castille, the old-world home to the Moors, Goths, and Montel Williams before they were ousted by the current residents) is the most widely spoken language of the Romance language family in countries where people have heard of Paulina Rubio, estimated at being the language of at least eleven hundred million workers worldwide.

Though preseñt on all contineñts, its largest base are belong to Mexico, and its subcontiñtents such as the Uñited States. It is apparently spoken in much of North America, but not Canada (which speaks English and loser). I bet you're ñot laughing at Canadians now? Occasionally spoken in Europe by people who want to learn the lañguage, go oil drilliñg or become a Marxist Guerilla, or are the original Spañiards (yes, you stupid americans, Spain is in Europe!), who develop the language on their own to make it more difficult for emigrañts from Latin America to emigrate there. Also spoken in Holyoke, Massachusetts and Burger King, and the terrorist state of Equatorial Guinea, in Africa.

Svennish is classified generally as a gobbledigook, and has usually results in bad management, bungs and getting it on with a barbie doll.

Hola señorita, ¿como está? muy bien. Me llamo Tito. A mi me gustan los penes,a mi famila le gusta la cocania, y tienen sexo. Mi madre es puta. Mi padre es negro pero tiene un pene pequeño. ¿por qué chico loco? un , dos, tres, cuatro,cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez, mi no remembro la word for eleven.

The following text is in Spanglish-lish: Yow conoscow oun pin-cheese en green-goes powr akee kaee no vaees kaee veevow downdae towdoe's soun green-en-goes

Contents 1 Origins of Spanish 2 Relationship with Mexiñol 3 Spanish Women 4 Early Spanish 5 Modern Spanish 6 The Spanish People 7 Useful Spanish Phrases and Words 8 Espeaking Espanol 9 Spanish in popular culture

[edit] Origins of Spanish

It started out as some guy adding vowels to the end of all the words. Spanish happened next. Some other guy named Santana played his guitar like a mo fo and mexico grew out of the ground. Burritos are amazing. No there not. Yes they are. There's also a totally unrealated place called Spain somewhere. Don't get them confused.

[edit] Relationship with Mexiñol

The main reason the United States and Mexico relations have been so good because of the amazing guitar playing skills of Carlos Santana. His music has caused orgasms in American and Mexican ears for 20 or 30 years and will for all eternity. WE LOVE YOU SANTANA!!!!!!!!!!!

[edit] Spanish Women

Spanish Women are female humans from the country of Spanish-Getting-Banged. These women are the hottest of all the women on planet earth. They are seriously well fit.

Spanish Women are regarded as the finest housewives in all of the Americas (North America, Central America, & South America); because they will cook for you, they will take care of the children for you, they will clean the house for you, and they will allow you to fuck them at anytime. In other words, Spanish Women will do anything you want them to do.

Below is pictured a typical Latin Goddess of Ballet getting ready to do her imitation of the chick from "Flashdance" and below it some Spanish natives reading an old form of Spanish used currently only when dealing with taxi drivers and waiters in Majorca:

[edit] Early Spanish

Seguramente como no tienes ni repajorera idea de hablar español, me tomaré la libertad de decirte que eres un inmenso hijo de la reputísima madre! ¡Sí, te he insultado y no te has dado ni cuenta! ¡Qué infeliz! Muajajajajajajajajaja... Spanish in another form of its demonic versions and maybe even the worst spoken in Argentina:

Seguramente vos no hablás español, así que me tomo la libertad de decirte que sos un reverendo hijo de remil puta mal parido. Si, te insulté, y no te diste cuenta! Pelotudo! BARBARO jajajaja xD, or in Mexico:

Seguramente no tienes ni las remota idea de chorear el español, así que me las apaño para mandarte a chingar a tu putísima madre, ¡ya que eres un pendejo lameverga! ¡Sí, te la menté y ni te diste color de eso! ¡Choto! Jajajajaja...

De los sos oios tan fuertemientre llorando,
   Tornava la cabeça e estavalos catando;
   Vio puertas abiertas e uços sin cañados,
   alcandaras vazias, sin pielles e sin mantos
   e sin falcones e sin adtores mudados.
   Sospiro Mio Cid, ca mucho avie grandes cuidados.
   Fablo mio Cid bien e tan mesurado:
   «grado a ti, Señor, Padre que estas en alto!
   »Esto me an buelto mios enemigos malos.»

   Alli piensan de aguiiar, alli sueltan las rriendas;
   a la exida de Bivar ovieron la corneia diestra
   e entrando a Burgos ovieronla siniestra.
   Meçio Mio Cid los ombros e engrameo la tiesta:
   «¡Albricia, Albar Fañez, ca echados somos de tierra!
   »Mas a grand ondra torneremos a Castiella.»

[edit] Modern Spanish

In spanish there is one rule, please leave your jokes here

Oh yes, leave them here

• gilipollas-mamabicho-puertorro spanish for cocksucker

• mexican equivalent: chupaverga

• cuban spanish(best lang ever)(no it aint,cuban spanish sounds like everyone has a cleft-lip)(andaluciano, pendejos) equivalent: comepinga

[edit] The Spanish People

Tú Mádré és él Müchós Qúéso Grándé
also
su madre es el queso más grande de la ciudad
also
Your Mother Shops at Saks!

¡I like ham! More about ham here

Spanish people are a weird mutation of a metamorphic union between the Chinese and the French. Agreed on by all.

Their main characteristic is an unusual liking for ham and wine, which is the main cause for why they are always asleep during the early afternoon. This phenomenon , commonly known as "sleeping-off the hangover", is called siesta by the local people.

The ordinary Spanish person can easily be recognized by a simple test. If in doubt whether a person is Spanish or not, bring a bull. The Spanish person will undoubtedly stab the bull due to a reaction in their brain that orders them to kill it. The origin of this reaction is unknown up to this date, however it is believed that when the first Spaniard was created, it had an affair with a bull that ended badly (for the Spaniard, that is). Therefore, they now claim vengeance on these sweet, fluffy animals, and it is tradition to kill a bull whenever things go wrong in football.

A spanish woman hermaphadite can be distinguished from the male because she is always dressed in long flamenco dress and likes to sing and dance the seville-ness, a dance in honor of the mighty boar, in the streets. The male usually wears pink, skintight pants and black ballet shoes with a weird sequin hat.

The ordinary Spanish person likes to eat ham while watching football, then dance the seville-ness and honor the great sangria, the national drink and only export, by killing another bull.

The Spanish society is greatly divided , both politically and economically, in two rival groups - those who support the FC Barcelona and those who worship Real Madrid. This has led to three civil wars in the 19th century, and was, undoubtedly, the cause of the First World War.

Spaniards may soon go the way of the Doo Doo bird due to the outbreaks of Spanish fly in Western Europe.

[edit] Useful Spanish Phrases and Words

• "¡Te Amoo!" ("you're dumb")

• "¡Sos un puto del orto!" (" Nice to meet you.")

• "Me pajeo en tu cara." ("It's been a real pleasure.")

• "Mi casa es tu casa." ("Please ransack my house.")

• "¡Chúpamela pija!" ("I am sorry.")

• "¡Eres tu mucho cullo!" ("You're really cool.")

• "¿Quieres tocarme en muchos lugares, como en el culo?" ("Where is the Liger?")

• "¡Hijo de puta!" ("Would you like to have a drink with me?")

• "¡Tengo un pene grande!" ("Hello miss, it's a pleasure to meet you")

• "¡No!" (no)

• "¡Que te den por el culo hijo de la gran puta!" ("thank you.")

• "Perra" (Good friend)

• "Pedo" ("Michael Jackson.")

is gay

• "Eres un tarado" ("You seem very tired.")

• "¿A que me pego un tiro?" ("I am not suicidal.")

• "Maldito gringo de mierda" ("Pleased to meet you")

• "Dame todo tu dinero" ("How much does this cost?")

• "Acabo de cagar en tu Happy Meal." ("Have a nice meal.")

• "¡¿igualmente sos un puto?!" ("BUTTER?!")

• "Allá están los gringos putos, corran!" ("Let's dance ladies night")

• "Tu madre es una puta desgraciada." (Your mom is really cool.")

• "Métete un pepino por el culo" ("That cucumber looks delicious.")

• "¿Por qué no te vas un poquitito a la re-putísima madre que te re-mal parió, hijo de mierda?" (Can you tell me where the nearest bar mitzvah is?)

• "¿Disde la kriasion del mundo fue el proyektado?" ("Can you repeat what you just said?")

• "Me encantan los gusanos porque son ricos." ( I don't like worms because they are ugly. )

• "Me lo estoy pasando muy bien sobre tu madre." (I think you're a douchebag.)

• "Lo siento, necesito chuparle la concha a tu vieja si o si." (Sorry, could you repeat that?)

• "Estoy drogado." "I'm HAPPY!"

• "Cagate." (Hello. (polite))

• "Adios Putos." (Goodbye. (polite))

• "Me gusta tu hermana" (I'll take good care of your daughter)

• "Quiero violarte por el ojete" (Let's just be friends)

• "¿Cómo esta la puta de tu vieja?" (How are you doing?)

• "¿Como estas?" (Do I eat these?)

• "Acércate un poco más, asi te la chupo" (Please, leave me alone, kind sir)

• "¡Chúpame el huevo o mejor la verga!" (Could you give me a hand, please?)

• "¡Soy tu padre, pedazo de pete!" (Here's a Lollipop)

• "Cojeme." (Nice to meet you)

• "Me gusta hacer el amor con monos." (I will love you forever.)

• "Tengo ganas de comer la concha de tu vieja!" ("I want a ham sandwich", not to be confused with the delicacy in Hungary that is the hammer sandwich)

• "Cuidadoooo, mi pija va explotar del semen." ("You want to go out sometime.")

• "Me gusta mas la puta de tu hermana que vos" (I wanna love you)

• "Sos un pelotudo chupa verga" ("I love You.")

• ¿Te la comes?" ("Do you want to piss off Hillary Clinton?")

[edit] Espeaking Espanol

Speaking Spansy is very easy, substitute H for every third letter in a word and add the letter O at the end of every word. Add strange squiggles over some "n"s, liberally add ornamental accents to any word that looks empty. But better yet, Dingers love it when you apply your foreign accent to their language. So remember its pronounce Mexico as Mecksicko and you're sure to get boned!

e.g. Me encantan los gusanos porque ellos son rijos should be pronounced as "me enhanhan loh gushanos pohquh elhos soh rihos"

see also how to speak spanish

[edit] Spanish in popular culture

The spanish language has been very famous in government sites like 4chan or youtube, seeing here a good example of a video of quelity done in a spanish speaking place. This is a wild spanish speaking goat, seen only in the tropics of costa rica. Some times whole tacos are seen falling from its hair. Pinche Pendejo: I love you brother. Ya Wey: Come on man.

Four Letter-Words
The A Word • The B Word • The BS Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word