Spain

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|common_name = Spain
 
|common_name = Spain
 
|national_motto = "If you can't beat them...take siesta and try again some other time.",
 
|national_motto = "If you can't beat them...take siesta and try again some other time.",
|national_anthem = La Cucaracha, El Condor Pasa
+
|national_anthem = Marcha Real
 
|image_flag = [[Image:Spain_Flag.jpg|140px]]|
 
|image_flag = [[Image:Spain_Flag.jpg|140px]]|
 
|image_coat = [[Image:Coatespaña.PNG|125px]]|
 
|image_coat = [[Image:Coatespaña.PNG|125px]]|
 
|image_map = [[Image:721px-Location_Spain_EU_Europe_2.png|290px]]|
 
|image_map = [[Image:721px-Location_Spain_EU_Europe_2.png|290px]]|
|capital = [[Paella-Ville]]
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|capital = [[Madrid]]
|largest_city = [[Old Mexico]]
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|largest_city = [[Madrid]]
 
|favourite_object_title = Favorite Musical Instrument|
 
|favourite_object_title = Favorite Musical Instrument|
|favourite_object_name = Conker Shell|
+
|favourite_object_name = Guitar|
 
|favourite_object_title1 = |
 
|favourite_object_title1 = |
 
|favourite_object_name1 = |
 
|favourite_object_name1 = |
|official_languages = [[Spanish language|Spanish, Poverté, Gibberish, Catalan, Galician, Euskera (Basque) ]], [[English language|English]] (only in Majorca, Torrevieja, and Sotogrande, a British enclave to the East of [[Gibraltar]])
+
|official_languages = [[Spanish language|Spanish, Catalan, Galician, Euskera (Basque) ]], [[English language|English]] (only in Majorca, Torrevieja, and Sotogrande, a British enclave to the East of [[Gibraltar]])
 
|government_type = [[Constitutional Monarchy]] (formerly a Republic by the Grace of [[Jeff Bush]])|
 
|government_type = [[Constitutional Monarchy]] (formerly a Republic by the Grace of [[Jeff Bush]])|
|leader_titles = '''[[Pancho]] '''|
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|leader_titles = '''[[President]] by accident'''|
|leader_names = [[Speedy Gonzalez|Every Fat Mexican's Grandfather|José Luis Rodríguez Thapatero|José Luis ''Flying Shoes'' Thapatero]]|
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|leader_names = [[José Luis Rodríguez Thapatero|José Luis ''Flying Shoes'' Thapatero]]|
 
|leader_titles = '''[[President]]'''|
 
|leader_titles = '''[[President]]'''|
 
|leader_names = [[Resident Evil 4|Osmund Saddler]] (after old president [[Bin Laden]]|)
 
|leader_names = [[Resident Evil 4|Osmund Saddler]] (after old president [[Bin Laden]]|)
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|leader_title2 = '''The [[King]] of party'''|
 
|leader_title2 = '''The [[King]] of party'''|
 
|leader_name2 = Juan Carlos I
 
|leader_name2 = Juan Carlos I
|national_heros = [[Rafa Nadal]], [[Don Quijote]], [[Sancho Panza]], [[Queen Latifah]], [[David Villa]], [[Iker Casillas]], [[Xabi Alonso]], [[Rodolfo Chikilicuatre]], [[Michael Phelps]], [[Fernando Alonso]], [[Pulpo Paul]] , [[Octopus Paul]]
+
|national_heros = [[Rafa Nadal]], [[Don Quijote]], [[Sancho Panza]], [[Luis Aragonés]], [[David Villa]], [[Iker Casillas]], [[Xabi Alonso]], [[Rodolfo Chikilicuatre]], [[Michael Phelps]], [[Fernando Alonso]], [[Pulpo Paul]] , [[Octopus Paul]]
 
|Formation = 15th Century.|
 
|Formation = 15th Century.|
|currency = [Pesos found behind your lazy uncle's couch, Euros, Ham, Cheese, Wine, Mullets]
+
|currency = [Euros, Ham, Cheese, Wine, Mullets]
 
|Alliances = [[NAMBLA]]|
 
|Alliances = [[NAMBLA]]|
 
|religion = [[Roman Catholicism|soccer and dancing the Macarena to propitiate goals]], [[Paul the Octopus|Octopusism]]|
 
|religion = [[Roman Catholicism|soccer and dancing the Macarena to propitiate goals]], [[Paul the Octopus|Octopusism]]|
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{{Q|Why couldn't [[Christopher Columbus]] discover it?|Pablo Neruda|Spain}}
 
{{Q|Why couldn't [[Christopher Columbus]] discover it?|Pablo Neruda|Spain}}
   
'''Spain''' is a country located in the sweaty arse-crack of Europe. Spain since it shares its borders with [[France]], someplace called [[Andorra]] where rich people hide out, and a country that owes Spain two months [[rent]] called [[Portugal]]. Spain, like [[family|your family]], is constantly at war with itself and others around it, because it really is just a grouping together of nomadic groups, each one lazier than the lat.
+
'''Spain''' is a country located in South-Western Europe. Well first off, it's okay to feel sorry for Spain since it shares its borders with [[France]], someplace called [[Andorra]] where rich people hide out, and a country that owes Spain two months [[rent]] called [[Portugal]]. Spain, like [[family|your family]], is constantly at war with itself and others around it.
   
Why should you travel to Spain this year instead of the Bahamas? You shouldn't, dipshit.
+
Why should you travel to Spain this year instead of the Bahamas? Let’s find out together.
   
 
===While You Were Asleep in History Class===
 
===While You Were Asleep in History Class===
 
[[Image:000472.running-bulls.jpg|thumb|left|240px|Were you looking for me?]]
 
[[Image:000472.running-bulls.jpg|thumb|left|240px|Were you looking for me?]]
   
Spain was a peaceful place until civilized man appeared wielding a minceless taco. The Carthaginians under [[Hannibal]] were hanging out in Spain until 210 B.C. when the [[Roman Empire]] showed up and kicked them out. Your teacher, Mrs. Jenkins told Mark Ingram that if he was going to chew [[gum]] he had to do it quietly.
+
Let me catch you up on what you’ve missed so far. Spain was a peaceful place until civilized man appeared. The Carthaginians under [[Hannibal]] were hanging out in Spain until 210 B.C. when the [[Roman Empire]] showed up and kicked them out. Your teacher, Mrs. Jenkins told Mark Ingram that if he was going to chew [[gum]] he had to do it quietly.
   
 
The Romans held control of things until these bad asses called the [[Goth|Visigoths]] showed up. Matt who sits behind you gave Becky the “[[Gothic People|Goth Chick]]” an unpracticed '''''*let’s go to the bed look*''''' at the mention of the Visigoths.
 
The Romans held control of things until these bad asses called the [[Goth|Visigoths]] showed up. Matt who sits behind you gave Becky the “[[Gothic People|Goth Chick]]” an unpracticed '''''*let’s go to the bed look*''''' at the mention of the Visigoths.
   
In the 8th Century all that came to an end when [[Muslim]]s (who liked to be called [[Moors]]) quickly slaughtered the Visigoths and set about speaking in a fast, squeaky, unintelligible manner, retained in modern Spanish diction. The Moor's set about Islamicising spain by covering it with minarets, tranquil gardens and fragrent orange groves. However their constant beautification of the country left them little time for millitary preparation.
+
In the 8th Century all that came to an end when [[Muslim]]s (who liked to be called [[Moors]]) quickly slaughtered the Visigoths. The Moor's set about Islamicising spain by covering it with minarets, tranquil gardens and fragrent orange groves. However their constant beautification of the country left them little time for millitary preparation.
   
 
For the next seven hundred years warfare between [[Christian]]s and Muslims occured as Christians pushed everybody who didn’t think like them out the door.
 
For the next seven hundred years warfare between [[Christian]]s and Muslims occured as Christians pushed everybody who didn’t think like them out the door.
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Joanna the Mad styled “Her Royal Hotness” '''HRH''', helped unify several lonely bachelors and create the Kingdom of Spain that we know today. Joanna liked the [[torture|rough stuff]] more than ruling the country, and feigned [[schizophrenia]] so her relatives would keep her locked up.
 
Joanna the Mad styled “Her Royal Hotness” '''HRH''', helped unify several lonely bachelors and create the Kingdom of Spain that we know today. Joanna liked the [[torture|rough stuff]] more than ruling the country, and feigned [[schizophrenia]] so her relatives would keep her locked up.
   
Phillip the II followed up this act with hitting the [[ass|low countries]] hard, having himself been spanked into a coma by his brutal father, strangely Philip the III . So hard in fact that they named the [[Phillipines]] after his exploits. Several thousand [[soldier|G.I.’s]] would follow his example in [[WWII]].
+
Phillip the II followed up this act with hitting the [[ass|low countries]] hard. So hard in fact that they named the [[Phillipines]] after his exploits. Several thousand [[soldier|G.I.’s]] would follow his example in [[WWII]].
   
 
While [[Ponce de Leon|Conquistadors]] were busy breeding with the peoples of [[Latin America|Latin]] and [[South America]] the [[Spanish Inquisition]] started their first season run on state television. After several friendly but unsuccessful conversations with everyone around about who should take care of the Atlantic, America and well, half of the world, Spaniards decided enough was enough and went to have a siesta. [[Napoleon]] invaded was kicked out by the outraged people, suprised to be suddenly awakened without advice and those awfully nice British chaps, and the [[Spanish Civil War]] caused everyone a headache. Things were just starting to go right again when a large, unkept [[penis]] named [[Francisco Franco]] came along.
 
While [[Ponce de Leon|Conquistadors]] were busy breeding with the peoples of [[Latin America|Latin]] and [[South America]] the [[Spanish Inquisition]] started their first season run on state television. After several friendly but unsuccessful conversations with everyone around about who should take care of the Atlantic, America and well, half of the world, Spaniards decided enough was enough and went to have a siesta. [[Napoleon]] invaded was kicked out by the outraged people, suprised to be suddenly awakened without advice and those awfully nice British chaps, and the [[Spanish Civil War]] caused everyone a headache. Things were just starting to go right again when a large, unkept [[penis]] named [[Francisco Franco]] came along.

Revision as of 09:03, July 15, 2013

España
The Holy Roman Catholic Empire of Spain or Paellaland
Spain
Spain Flag Coatespaña
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "If you can't beat them...take siesta and try again some other time.",
Anthem: Marcha Real
721px-Location Spain EU Europe 2
Capital Madrid
Largest city Madrid
Official language(s) Spanish, Catalan, Galician, Euskera (Basque) , English (only in Majorca, Torrevieja, and Sotogrande, a British enclave to the East of Gibraltar)
Government Constitutional Monarchy (formerly a Republic by the Grace of Jeff Bush)
President Osmund Saddler (after old president Bin Laden
‑ The King of party Juan Carlos I
Favorite Musical Instrument Guitar
National Hero(es) Rafa Nadal, Don Quijote, Sancho Panza, Luis Aragonés, David Villa, Iker Casillas, Xabi Alonso, Rodolfo Chikilicuatre, Michael Phelps, Fernando Alonso, Pulpo Paul , Octopus Paul
Established 15th Century.
Currency [Euros, Ham, Cheese, Wine, Mullets]
Religion soccer and dancing the Macarena to propitiate goals, Octopusism
“Why couldn't Christopher Columbus discover it?”
~ Pablo Neruda on Spain

Spain is a country located in South-Western Europe. Well first off, it's okay to feel sorry for Spain since it shares its borders with France, someplace called Andorra where rich people hide out, and a country that owes Spain two months rent called Portugal. Spain, like your family, is constantly at war with itself and others around it.

Why should you travel to Spain this year instead of the Bahamas? Let’s find out together.

While You Were Asleep in History Class

000472.running-bulls
Were you looking for me?

Let me catch you up on what you’ve missed so far. Spain was a peaceful place until civilized man appeared. The Carthaginians under Hannibal were hanging out in Spain until 210 B.C. when the Roman Empire showed up and kicked them out. Your teacher, Mrs. Jenkins told Mark Ingram that if he was going to chew gum he had to do it quietly.

The Romans held control of things until these bad asses called the Visigoths showed up. Matt who sits behind you gave Becky the “Goth Chick” an unpracticed *let’s go to the bed look* at the mention of the Visigoths.

In the 8th Century all that came to an end when Muslims (who liked to be called Moors) quickly slaughtered the Visigoths. The Moor's set about Islamicising spain by covering it with minarets, tranquil gardens and fragrent orange groves. However their constant beautification of the country left them little time for millitary preparation.

For the next seven hundred years warfare between Christians and Muslims occured as Christians pushed everybody who didn’t think like them out the door.

I can’t stress enough the social implications of a jock like Matt even considering dating Becky. That would be like Holy Roman Emperor Charles V asking out Roxelana the only legal wife of Suleiman the Magnificent on homecoming weekend.

The Hotness of Imperial Spain

Joanna the Mad styled “Her Royal Hotness” HRH, helped unify several lonely bachelors and create the Kingdom of Spain that we know today. Joanna liked the rough stuff more than ruling the country, and feigned schizophrenia so her relatives would keep her locked up.

Phillip the II followed up this act with hitting the low countries hard. So hard in fact that they named the Phillipines after his exploits. Several thousand G.I.’s would follow his example in WWII.

While Conquistadors were busy breeding with the peoples of Latin and South America the Spanish Inquisition started their first season run on state television. After several friendly but unsuccessful conversations with everyone around about who should take care of the Atlantic, America and well, half of the world, Spaniards decided enough was enough and went to have a siesta. Napoleon invaded was kicked out by the outraged people, suprised to be suddenly awakened without advice and those awfully nice British chaps, and the Spanish Civil War caused everyone a headache. Things were just starting to go right again when a large, unkept penis named Francisco Franco came along.


Bar-zuh-łon-nuh is the first city you need to check out. Don’t bother renting a car; navigating the streets in this city are tougher than getting a piñata full of candy away from your blind six year old cousin.

Catalonia is not spain-1-
Some people still fight the Spanish Civil War, this time with paint and walls!

Almost everyone from this region of Spain believes they are part of their own nation called Catalonia. Feel free to remind them that Barcelona is not Europe, and you will get drunk and urinate in the street just as freely here, as you would in Paris.

If you prefer to visit Madrid, remember to visit locals where the owner had a great moustache and a nasty image and try to talk about how good played the FC Barcelona, you'll have a very funny time with these kind people.

You probably missed the 1992 Olympics because you were in grade school, but don’t worry all those fancy hotels they built are still there waiting to overcharge you for a toothbrush, shampoo, and late night entertainment.

"Basque"-ing in self worship must mean you're in Basque country, and hitting the tapas bars a little too hard. If you can sober up; visit the village of Pamplona in Fiesta de San Fermín for the running of the bulls starting on 7 July.

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