Spacewar
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Spacewar was an offshoot of the Apollo Program, which eventually laid the basic groundwork of today's Star Wars and asteroid deflection systems.
[edit] Russian Bastards
In 1965, NASA began construction of a spacecraft that could safely maneuver inside the gravitational field of a black hole whilst spitting out tiny pellets of glowing energy. Unbeknownst to NASA at the time, the Soviet Union was also building a ship with similar capabilities. Unfortunately, NASA's prototype Spacewarship 1 was lost with all hands in a freak hyperspace accident when it tried to re-enter normal space and exploded for no apparent reason. The USSR went on to an upset victory of 1-0 and subsequently conquered Earth and the rest of the galaxy.
[edit] A Shift in Strategy
Meanwhile, NASA decided to redesign and simplify the original Spacewar spacecraft and divert all of their remaining funding to the perennial problem of asteroid control, even though the original hyperspace glitch was never solved. As of 2005, NASA has saved the Earth from lethal collisions with millions of badly-rendered asteroids, and shot down thousands of flying saucers (and scored 273,000,000,000 points in the process) but at a cost of thousands of ships utterly destroyed. Fortunately, individual ships (with complimentary trained astronauts) are easily replaceable at the affordable rate of 3 per quarter.
