Spacebar
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Whatdoesthatbiglongthingatthebottomofthekeyboarddo?”
~ SomeGuy on Spacebar
“Whoooa!Thislongthingatthebottomofthekeyboard'ssurenice!”
~ Anotherguy on Spacebar
“That'swhatshesaid”
~ SomeGuy on thepreviousquotation
“That'swhereIwenttocelebratetheApolloMissions.”
~ NeilArmstrong on Spacebar?Oh,it'sa u--Igetit.
“'”
~ Spacebar on Spacebar
“Help!Myspacebarisbroken!”
~ SomeGuy
“Hey!,A,new,use,for,the,comma,key!”
~ SomeGuy, five seconds later
“Ohno!Thatbroketoo!”
~ SomeGuy, five minutes later
Contents |
[edit] TheSpaceBar
T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t o f i n t e r g a l a c t i c pub. It'swherethescumofthegalaxycomeand drink.TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseastheRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,th isdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,Intergalac ticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).
EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.
SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard Itislocatednexttothetimebar.
SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.
SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.
TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbe causetheoldoneistoogummedup.
[edit] PresidentSpaceBar
SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehab CenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.
TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar
Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionof mildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotab lyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.
SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikensp acen.
[edit] FunfactsaboutSpaceBar
- Hisfavoritenumberis42.
- Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
- BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
- SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
- InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
- OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
- Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)
- InventedbyWilliamWordsworth
[edit] Computerspacebar
Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether. Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer. Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping. Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike
uoikj
or
erd5f
Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue. Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.
Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.
| Letters of the Alphabet: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sleep | Web browser | Prev | Play | Stop | Next | Mute | Volume up | Volume down | Launch Nuke | LOL! | Produced by N o b o d y c a r e s ® | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Esc | F1 | F2 | F3 | F4 | F5 | F6 | F7 | F8 | F9 | F10 | F11 | F12 | PrtSc SysRq | ScLk | Pause Break | Lose Weight | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ~ ` | ! 1 | @ 2 | £ 3 | $ 4 | % 5 | ^ 6 | & 7 | * 8 | ( 9 | ) 0 | _ - | + = | ←Bkspc | Ins | Home | PgUp | Num | / | * | - | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Tab↔ | Q | W | € E | R | T | Y | U | I | O | P | { [ | } ] | | \ | Del | End | PgDn | 7 | 8 | 9 | + | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Caps | A | S | D | F | G | H | J | K | L | : ; | " ' | ←Enter | Oh, SHIT! | Any | Duh | 4 | 5 | 6 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ↑Shift | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | < , | > . | ? / | ↓Shift | ↑ | 1 | 2 | 3 | Ent | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ctrl | FN |  | Alt | s p a c e b a r | Alt Gr |  | | Ctrl | ← | ↓ | → | 0 | . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
[edit] SpaceBarIsNotSpaCebar
ManyhaverumoredthatSpaceBarisinfactSpaCebarbutthosepeopleareprettydrunkmostofthetimeandalsothinkDouglasAdamswroteHamlet.
[edit] Seealso
</math>
