Space Shuttle Endeavour

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[edit] General History

Endeavour sticking its umbilicals into a modified Boeing 747.

The Space Shuttle Endeavour was commissioned by NASA in 1987 after they realised that sending people into space on millions of pounds worth of explosives probably wasn't such a good idea. It is the first of the Space Shuttle fleet to be powered by Mojo and as such has lead to some unexpected kinks and problems in the shuttles systems.

[edit] Mojo/Austin Powers controversy

Due to the huge amount of mojo required for a shuttle launch, it was necessary to call in self proclaimed international man of mystery Austin Powers to supply the Endeavour with its much needed mojo. However, half way through mojo extraction, Austin suddenly requested that instead of being paid in dollars for his services, he wanted to be paid in World of Warcraft gold. This was totally unacceptable to NASA's large WOW community, and Austin Powers was mauled to death by an angry WOW clan hours afterward. With the shuttle only half full due to Austin's untimely death, NASA boffins decided to mix the current propellant with mojo chews.

Mojo chews were used to power the solid rocket boosters to launch Endeavour into orbit.

[edit] Sexual Prowess and a huge crack

Endeavours first launch using its mojo engines

On Endeavours first launch problems were encountered on the pad when the shuttle effectively tried to rape itself using umbilicials from the external tank. This led to a huge crack appearing in the shuttles thermal protection system, and concern was expressed by the mission control centre that the crack could possibly be snorted directly off the hull by the over zealous crew, possibly leading to them having sex in space (a big no-no according to NASA procedures).

[edit] Endeavour Crew

Originally The backstreet boys were the first choice for the crew of the endeavour because of their unparelled gayness, but they pulled out at the last moment, so the charectors of rainbow were drafted.

The Endeavour crew. From left to right: Bungle, Zippy, Hayes, George

[edit] The incident

The following is a transcript from audio recordings on the International Space Station.

Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four.... "

George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"

Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"

The camera shows a view of the airlock, and we hear Bungle moaning from behind it.

Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"

Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"

Bungle: "I know, let's try it round the other way around. Ooooooh, I've got it in"

Bungle and Geoffrey enter the main part of the spacestation from the airlock, with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit

Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"

George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,

Geoffrey (to onboard camera) " Hello Houston, today we are talking about playing"

Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"

Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?"

George: "Yesterday we played with our balls.

Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?"

Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."

Geoffrey (to Mission Control Houston): Have you seen Bungles twanger?

Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."

Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey asks Houston if they can pluck like Bungle

Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."

George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"

Zippy: "Well of course it is, Your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."

Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."

Bungle (excited): "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all paint our twangers couldn't we?"

George: "Let's sing that plucking song."

Bungle: "Rod and Roger our fellow ISS astronauts can get their instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."

Astronauts Rod, Roger and Jane enter from the crew compartments.

Rod: "We could hear you all banging away."

Roger: "Banging can be fun."

Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and Roger."

Roger (looking sad): "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey: "Never mind Roger, let sing the plucking song, come on

everybody get your instruments out."

Rod (to Jane): "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"

Jane: "Oh no Rod, I was blowing a lot with Roger last night. But would you

like to play with my maracas?"

Zippy: "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."

Bungle: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size your twanger is."

Zippy: "I've got a big red one."

George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play with it."

Geoffrey (to Houston): "Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember,

you can bounce your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any balls,

ask a friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all sing the plucking song."

Everyone in ISS: "Pluck, pluck, pluck away, we're going to pluck all day today."

"Pluck, pluck, pluck away, we're going to pluck all day."

Geoffrey (to Houston): " It's time for us all to go now, but don't forget ....

to get your twangers out and play with your balls." "Houston, Endeavour. Out."

[edit] Endeavour Trivia

According to an Opie and Anthony listener, Endeavor was made with left over spare parts from the space shuttle [Challenger]. Pronounced: "en-dehv-verrrrrrr"