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A Soundgarden is a large expance of grass notable for its emission of transparent audible waves. It is also the name of a progressive rock/folk fusion superhero ensemble, whose current roster consists of Del Boner aka Captain America, Sverrir aka Spoonman.
Founded in 1894, by Sverrir, the band has been through several incarnations through the decades, each one adding to the awe-inspiring mythos of Soundgarden.
The first Soundgarden was a Mozart cover band, barely making ends meet playing bar mitzvahs, weddings and death cult mass suicides. Their following was small, but loyal--rabidly loyal. Literally, their music was known to cause rabies in small animals, young children and statues of the Virgin Mary. Adolf Hitler was one victim of their musical rabies. Barney was another.
This incarnation fell into obscurity, it's members slowly dying off one by one by natural causes in their old age--the most shameful and horrific death imaginable for rock musicians. Its also been known that during the birth of grunge. The God of music masturbated during an eclipse and ejaculated a flock of doves. These doves then materialized into soundgarden which is the name of their birth place, called the garden of sound. These demi gods used their powers, to right a tribute song to their father; which was called black hole sun.
edit Soundgarden Reborn
Del Boner, young, patriotic American musician, in an effort to serve his country, volunteered to be the test subject for an experimental "Super Soldier Serum". American scientists, hoping to capitalize upon their success with Oprah Winfrey envisioned creating a squad of soldiers who could work together to in the fight for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
The serum was a smashing success, and Soundgarden, Super Squad was reborn. This process was aptly described as a birth ritual in their terrorizing television pilot, also called "Birth Ritual." During the 1940's, the band went into underground, helping the Allies defeat Hitler by working incognito, giving high-ranking Axis officers rabies. This explains Hitler's alleged bouts of irrational behavior and borderline psychosis at the end of the Third Reich. Apart from this, The Band mostly spent their spare time playing Pacman and Mario Kart.
edit Cold War Soundgarden
The Cold War was a difficult time for Soundgarden. Without a definite, concrete foe to focus their Rock 'n' Roll rage upon, the group fell to fighting amongst themselves, huffing kittens, tearing each other apart, and infecting each other with rabies. Finally, because of their spreading of rabies the band was frozen in ice at the north pole by Captain Planet (really Ted Turner in disguise), hoping for them to never be reawakened again, until...
edit Dark Soundgarden
Hostile Aliens, seeking a way to dominate the earth, discovered the frozen heroes in their secluded iceberg getaway. Recognizing the value in their genetic material, the heroes were cloned, forming the Evil superband Abba. The other superpowered bands, though monumentally weaker than Dark Soundgarden A.K.A. Abba, were able to team-up together to destroy them, before they, and their Dark Power of Disco were able to melt the brains of the entire world.
edit Desert Shield Soundgarden
The world did indeed have need for the awesome powers of Soundgarden. Facing an unknown foe in Saddam Hussein, Ronald Reagan and George Bush Sr. concocted a plan to hunt, find and revive the now nearly-forgotten American heroes. Though it took years of painstaking searching, Marine officer Oliver North searched until he found them, successfully reviving all members of the band--except Bucky, because everyone felt he was kinda useless.
edit Return to Form
Recently the band decided to go back to a Mozart cover band and added some of the Jazz band The Ramones songs to their list of songs and playing mostly in their home country of Australia near Mount Doom (a very popular place to go in Australia).
edit Notable Members
- Kermit the Frog A.K.A. Aquaman. Drummer, backup vocals, lyricist and pig lover.
- Larry Mullen Jr. A.K.A. Bucky: Sidekick to Captain America.
- Hiro Nakamura A.K.A. Hiro Yamamoto. Time-traveling bassist.
- Osama Bin Laden A.K.A. Kim Thayil. Guitar player, muslim, world renowned terrorist, recently found in 2009 in Seattle after hiding from the world for 12 years and disappearing in 1997.