Something completely different
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| And Now For Something Completely Different:
A cash with a hot cash next to her cash |
Warning: There will be no further M**** P***** references allowed in this article.
The article at hand proposes to deal with something completely different.
Defining what it is different from constitutes our first hurdle.
[edit] The Second Hurdle
It goes without saying that an uncyclopedia article must, by definition, be informative without burdening the reader with inessential disarticulation. If that goes without saying, why did we say it?
[edit] Specifics
Clythopes digyoptera. The dire whelk. Clinoptilolite. Disinclinasial hemherroids. Related phenomena, or merely random words in a line? As Mark Twain said, "Nothing is unrelated if you live in a small town in Missouri." He might as well have included Wales and Macedonia, eh? But only your geneticist knows for sure.
What is certain is that the species known to science as Clythopes digyoptera and to the Argentines as "lechón de los testículos" may or may not be extinct. And thus we know for sure that the workers in the clinoptilolite mines are -- or are not -- in terrible peril of being attacked in a peculiar and horrible manner. Of this we can be absolutely certain.
[edit] Whence, Then, Freewill?
The dire whelk feeds on other mollusks, scraping a hole through their shells with its spiny radula and sucking out their gonads. Disinclinasial hemherroids occur when the pancreas scrapes a hole through the stricture of Vespuvias with its spiny radula and attacks the mucosal organs. The connection is clear. It is clear because it is made up of transparent membranes, similar in composition to the cornea and Lake Baikal.
This membranous connection stretches between the dire whelk and the pancreas, allowing them some freedom of motion but no freedom of action. There is, then, no true freewill in this case.
[edit] Silliness...Or a Deep Metaphor for Modern Angst?
Have we once again written an irredeemably self-indulgent article? Or are we merely misusing italics in order to impart urgency to what is ultimately meaningless?
Only your typographical epistemologist knows for sure.
In modern times philosophy and physics have converged on a single vision of reality. Foundational epistemology intersects quantum reality, and both engorge our already tumescent sense of self-importance. The observer -- e.g. the dire whelk in the metaphorical passage above -- becomes the arbitrator of reality, analogous to the "lechón de los testículos". It is no longer enough to refute Spinoza, as Stephen Hawking said; we must also put a dead carp down his trousers.
Or: It is not enough to explore reality, we must also exploit it. This was the final testament of Bertrand Russell, as he lay dying philosophically and oh-so-picaresquely of an acutely impacted vocabulary.
[edit] And now for something completely diffrent:
Did you know? Dr. Brown is currently living happily on Gander Mountain ledge in his nice warm candy cabin with his friend MR. T.J. Maxx? oh yes for quite some time now, just thought you might like to know. Upon first coming here, some people have the impression that this is not a trampoline, anyhow that is of the least importance compared to principles of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
[edit] The Moldy Apple Age 1967-quite a few weeks after
the year was 1967 am i was in for a hot summer, i have recently moved to a suburban country town in the western area of germany where i was born some eveventy two years earlier, i arived to find a apple i had left there weeks earlier and it had gathered considrable amount of mold well acctually it was not really all that moldy. so i was all like "What the!! 6699-23334-2333345-66476-44433-222233-57-8889 man!!"
so anyhow i pulled out all my teeth Till one by one, they were gone.
[edit] Pinocchio!
I once made friends with a bad boy and let me tell you! it did not end well, no sir NOPE! heres a picture: Tomas was his name, he had told me he was a former jack russell one day he told me to meet him at the Soviet Union just below the purple jocks. Tomas was at the difficult teens and i decided against his sexual advances after my rejection he soon started to find himself on Decision Street the greenest street in the city. Where are my arms?! oh wait thier they are, ok back to the story. guess who!!!... hmmm? AGGH! *BANG*
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[edit] legend of the snake whore (Sensable Version)
some times once every 6 years my uncle has a astoundingly-high death rate that has stumped forensic experts for years. Most of the deaths occur as an inevitable result of suicide. One popular theory is that because viewers like you never get to go outside, they think that they are the only humans left. suddenly the while this article was being written Protesters known as the Republicans left the Western Communion just burts in and start smashing up the joint!
"hey leave elmit fudd alone he is cool!" said the little boy with the bucket on his head. explotions! Apples were originaly made to prevent from preventing food from sticking to plates.
Its been discovered that in Saxon times i liked Nasty Right Wing Bitches
[edit] It makes complete sense
well it does!
[edit] See Also
I've had too much Carbon White.
[edit] Just the Facts
Of course, Uncyclopedia does not invent these philistinian ramblings, we merely report them in a purely unbiased, deeply amateur, and trenchantly homespun manner. Just like a good 'Pedia Wiki' should. Nudge nudge.
Barmy British Stuff 
