Solvay, New York

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Solvay 2009

“What's that smell?”
“It's full of cat eaters!”
“You known you're from Solvay when you're done with high school, you can't wait to get out, but you always seems to be around.”

Solvay is composed of three main sections. There is the high society area, such as Orchard Road. Here you find families that date back several generations and have refused to move from the same house. Likewise the Westvale area (otherwise known as "new money") is mostly composed of lower middle class families. The vast majority of Solvay is made up of a "shanty town" village. Most homes are built with a mixture of cardboard, drywall, and saliva. No stray cats can be found roaming the street, due to their status as delicacy in the village.

edit Demographics

The following is a rough estimation of the demographics of Solvay:

  • 98% Italian-American
  • 23% Ukrainian/Russian
  • 79% Dirtball
  • 0.03% Others

edit Places

edit Solvay Pool


Solvay Pool in the Summer

The Solvay Pool is located behind the high school. the pool is used for kid to hangout and swimming lessons

edit Solvay Geddes Community Youth Center

When students of Solvay High School are released at 2:05, you will never fail to see a few children walking down to the local youth center. The complex consists of a main lobby, gymnasium, and indoor swimming pool. While the entire establishment is indeed a shithole, the students and staff that are there are what really bring the building down. The main lobby is typically littered with suspicious individuals that graduated from Solvay High School centuries ago. The gymnasium possesses six basketball hoops in which students and other local folk can participate in exciting games of H-O-R-S-E and/or Knockout. The indoor pool within the complex reeks of mold and grime. Even though there is a lack of CLR, other chemicals that linger around Solvay's polluted airspace are able to magically rid the pool of any urine, feces, or other products that are administered to it via human contact.

edit Solvay High School

Located at the top of massive Gertrude Road Hill, Solvay High School stands in its miserable glory. Complete with one of the nicest football/track complex in Section III, Solvay hoodlums never fail to attempt to destroy it. In this school you will find the rare species of the orange people (mostly a result of excessive tanning), and many other dwellers of the hood. Made up of an array of teachers who have no idea what they are doing, at Solvay you get a quality education. Less than 3% of each graduating class attends a four year University. Solvay is also one of the only high schools that offers a thirteenth grade at the neighboring OCC. A common scene at Solvay is overweight female students, wearing extra small wife beaters, and low rise pants significantly exposing their gargantuan muffin tops. If you are not deaf before you attend Solvay, you will be by the time you graduate as a result of the "ghetto bitches" screaming at each other down the hall. Athletics in Solvay are a embarrassment, unless you are a member of the ghetto donkers team. Football will always be king at Solvay, even though they no longer can pull off a winning season. The volleyball team is also very popular, because each volleyball game ends in an orgy. If you go to Solvay, you should plan on your great great great great great grandchildren also attending Solvay, because nobody ever leaves, especially the large Ukrainian population.

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