Sock demon

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 20:41, May 16, 2009 by (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search
Sock demon

The demon Soccus Diaboli, known to inhabit clothes dryers and washers. His followers horde odd socks for an annual event called, The Evil Mass of the Sock Pyre.

Mating Habits

He fucks Greg Halls.


Sock demons first became a plague in 1974, when the leaders of the world just decided that they would stop taking steps against them, as they were "imaginary". The demons, instead of simply asking people for their socks, as they had before, took this in a bad way. As a side note, nobody born before 1974 has ever complained about missing socks. The sock demons sued the leaders of the world for oppressing the minorites, at which point Edward Cullen descended from the heavens to smite down the leaders of the world. However, he missed, only hitting two of them, John Lennon and George Harrison. The world mourned their loss, but not the sock demons because they had some pretty interesting socks. Like on Abbey Road. The demons proceeded to get into houses via the chimney, but they kept being mistaken for Santa Claus, so they quickly abandoned that.

They figured electrical outlets were small and insignificant enough to never be suspected as an entrance to a house, and besides nobody ever puts in those fake plugs to keep little kids from jamming forks in there anyways. So from about 1975 on, they have plagued our houses and socks. To make a castle. You really would've thought someone would just give them some bricks and paint and make them go away. Huh. Figures.

Sock Satan

The Sock Satan is currently living in the brain, heart, and pancreas of a once-influential human being. Once-influential, that is, before the Sock Satan made such a fuss over the name. That's right, you guessed it. The artist formerly known as Symbol, formerly known as character, commonly known as ridiculous unshaven dwarf in gay hotpants. Who of course was formerly known as Sock Satan, ruler and overlord of the sock demons. He may change his shape again in the future, but don't worry! There is a way to tell for sure who he really is. He will always have purple semen, as a punishment for a "King Midas" type incident involving grape juice. Don't ask. Just ... it's better not knowing.


Most sock demons work at Decathlon, however, there are some who are not allowed this privelege. These unlucky demons have, in some way, pissed off Sock Satan. They are forced to work at McDonalds, Starbucks, or Dunkin' Donuts. But never Burger King. Burger King is run by lap dogs in zitty-teenager costumes.


One of sock demons' many adaptations to the world is being able to survive just about anywhere. Despite this, the large amount of buereocrats, hippies, and bitter ex-husbands in New England has mostly chased them out of this area. They plan to relocate to either the West Coast or Lithuania. Whichever has more socks.

Mating Habits

The sock demon is an interesting species. There is no discernable difference between male and female. Many sock demons overcome this by deciding on a gender early in life, and then wearing a sign that says "I am a guy/girl" until everyone they know has memorized it. As no one can tell the difference naturally, this presents some problems to the question of reproduction. The best way anyone has found so far is to get a large amount of demons together, put them in a large bag made out of XXL men's polyester pants, and shake vigorously. Somehow, it works. I don't know why. I'm not one of them.

Personal tools