Socialist Workers Party (UK)

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{{Q|USSR bad, America bad, Socialism good.|Tony Cliff 1948}}
 
{{Q|USSR bad, America bad, Socialism good.|Tony Cliff 1948}}
 
{{Q|Grab the latest Socialist Worker your ticket to the absolute truth, only 80p.|A freshly enlightened recruit}}
 
{{Q|Grab the latest Socialist Worker your ticket to the absolute truth, only 80p.|A freshly enlightened recruit}}
{{Q|Buy the paper, join the party, sell the paper|The Swappy Motto}}
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{{Q|Buy the paper, join the party, sell the paper|The Swuppie Motto}}
The '''Socialist Workers Party (SWP)''' (also known as the Swappies, Swaps or the Middle Class Wankers Brigade) is the largest [[Communist conspiracy|far-left party]] in [[Great Britain]]. It is rumoured to have at least 10 members. Critics have argued that most of its members are middle-class students (which they are), despite the fact that its leaders are not students (they are ex-students). Many critics also say that if one is a first-year university student, it is compulsory to join the SWP. <ref>That is, if the Greens and Islamists won't have you.</ref> The SWP is keen to stress the fact that it has two members who are working class. <ref>Both of whem clean the homes of the SWP leadership.</ref>
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The '''Socialist Workers Party (SWP)''' (also known as the Swappies, Swaps or the Middle Class Rapists Brigade) is the largest [[Communist conspiracy|far-left party]] in [[Great Britain]]. It is rumoured to have at least 10 members, but that was before the crisis of 2013. Critics have argued that most of its members are middle-class students (which they are), despite the fact that its leaders are not students (they are ex-students, although only Professor Darkside is now an academic). Many critics also say that if one is a first-year university student, it is compulsory to join the SWP.<ref>That is, if the Monster Raving Loony Party and Islamists won't have you.</ref> The SWP is keen to stress the fact that it has two members who are working class.<ref>Both of whem clean the homes of the SWP leadership.</ref>
   
The SWP has participated in (or ‘taken over’, or ‘infiltrated’) a number of campaigns such as the [[Down with this sort of thing!|Stop the War Coalition]], [[Respect Party|Respect]], '''Rock against Racism''' and '''Students against Paying Fees Although We Can Afford It'''. <ref>The punky rock band [[The Clash]] was said to have lent the Party a bob or two in the early 1980s.</ref>
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The SWP has participated in (or ‘taken over’, or ‘infiltrated’) a number of campaigns such as the [[Down with this sort of thing!|Stop the War Coalition]], [[Respect Party|Respect]], '''Rock against Racism''' and '''Students against Paying Fees Although We Can Afford It'''.<ref>The punky rock band [[The Clash]] was said to have lent the Party a bob or two in the early 1980s.</ref>
   
The SWP has an ‘industrial department’ which hands out old scrolls by [[Leon Trotsky]] and [[Rosa Luxemburg]] to unions members and also informs them as to how misinformed they are. The SWP also incorporates the '''Socialist Workers' Student Society''', which is actually made up of the whole of the SWP (except for the ex-students who are now its leaders). Such societies run weekly meetings such as ‘How to master the cockney accent’, ‘How to pretend that one’s parents aren’t rich’ and ‘How to memorise the party line’. <ref>Islamists, for some reason, are good at this.</ref>
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The SWP has an ‘industrial department’ which hands out old scrolls by [[Leon Trotsky]] and [[Rosa Luxemburg]] to unions members and also informs them as to how misinformed they are. The SWP formerly incorporated the '''Socialist Workers' Student Society''', which disaffiliated en-masse when it discovered the ex-students who are now SWP leaders defend dodgy jazz fans like Martin Smith. Such societies run weekly meetings such as ‘How to master the cockney accent’, ‘How to pretend that one’s parents aren’t rich’ and ‘How to memorise the party line’. <ref>Islamists, for some reason, are good at this.</ref>
   
 
==Publications==
 
==Publications==

Revision as of 16:35, March 17, 2013

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