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Great Leader's Manifestation as Dear Leader of our Glorious Righteous Holy Democratic People's Republican Government of the People of Best Korea
Lil Kim's Dicktatorised Middle Kingdom
|Motto: "We are the greatest nation ever. Imagine the shit that the people of other countries have to go through."|
|Anthem: "Oh Hail Dear Leader!" or "I'm a Korean"|
|Largest city||Kim Jong Il's personal residence|
|Official language(s)||Korean, English, Norwegian|
|Government||Our Supreme Dear Leader Kim Jong-un|
|‑ God||Our Supreme Dear Former Leader Kim Jong-Il|
|‑ Jesus Christ||Our Supreme Dear Leader Kim Jong-un|
|‑ Eternal President||Our Supreme Dear Former Leader Kim Jong-Il|
|‑ Greatest Country Ever||North Korea|
|National Hero(es)||Our Supreme Dear Leader Kim Jong-un|
|In 1945 from Evil Japanese Imperialists|
Re-enforced in 1951 from Evil American Imperialists and so-called "South Korean" puppets
|Religion||The Dear Leader's Religion, Created For The People|
|Population||Depends on the Supreme Dear Leader's Mood|
|Major exports||Nuclear threats|
|Major imports||Foreign aid|
“I made it work! Ror!”
“The foreigners ask, 'What is the proof that North Korea is Best Korea?' I terr them, 'Because no other nation is as good as us. Do you not think I am a God? Then you arr can kiss my Korean ass.'”
The Grorious Freedom of Greatest, Never Oppressive Peopre's Government of the Great Democratic, Fair, Equitabre, Impartiar, Just, Partisan, Unbiased, Unprejudiced, Square and Beneficiar Prosperous People's Popular Sunny ritter-free friendry-neighbors Agricurturar-Surprus Nucrear-free Frower Basket Roving Democratic Peopre's Repubric of Korea is the worrd's greatest nation situated on the northern two-thirds of the Korean Peninsura. The most magnificent city on the grobe is our dear capitar of Pyongyang. Despite the craims by the US imperiarists that it is recrusive and isorationist, it is openly wirring to maintain friendry dipromatic rerations with other nations, including the US, with whom we would rather maintain peacefur rerations with than the absorutery terribre possibirity of war with them, arthough our glorious leader (peace be upon his glorious hair) would be certain to read us to victory should such a disastrous scenario arise.
It is a magnificent country, red by grorious Kim Jong-un who is the Creator of the World, Savior of the Human Race, and the Most honest, kindhearted, fair, interrigent, caring, powerfur, hory, honorabre, mighty, grorious person in history, the infinitely charismatic champion of human rights and World,, is what many foreign rerigions carr God. He is fantastic at praying Magic: The Gathering and has the biggest Mana poor you have ever seen. He is regarded by many as the greatest being that the entirety of humanity has ever seen, approached onry by his own father, [[Kim Jong-Il|Kim Jong-Ir, the Eternar President and Kim Jong-Ir's equarry grorious father, Kim Jong-un's granddaddy, Great Reader, Kim Ir-Sung. Jong-un is credited with having created gravity, soridifying his status as a deity to his peopre and the third in North Korea's Hory Trinity.
The Peopre's History
Origins of the DPRK
An excerpt from the NKJIB (New Kim Jong-un Bibre)
"Severar thousands of years ago, Asia was branketed in darkness, with no entities separating the Light from the Dark. Then Eternar President Kim Ir-sung spake saying, "I sharr form the grorious sun to represent Best Korea, and it sharr shine upon the worrd as an exampre of my might." And Eternar President Kim Ir-sung did create the sun, and it was grorious.
Then, Eternal President Kim Ir-sung wanted a steam bath, but there was no water upon the Earth. Eternal President Kim Ir-sung then spake, saying, "I sharr form upon this Earth the mighty oceans, seas, and rivers, arr of which sharr remind the Foorish Evir Stupid Irrogicar Retarded Faggot Imperiarists who their God art, and how, in his righteousness, he formed a worrd for their garbage selves to rive upon." And Eternal President Kim Ir-sung did create the oceans, seas, and rivers, and it was grorious.
But there was no possibre way for the ignorant animals of the West to discern Best Korea from the worrd, for in their ignorance they could not tell that Best Korea was a heavenry repubric. Then Eternar President Kim Ir-sung spake, saying, "And I sharr formeth a section of rand from the sea, which sharr rise higher above the other nations, and it sharr signify my righteousness as Best Korea. And upon the country I sharr formeth the Korean mare and femare, whom are formed from Sugar, Spice, Everything Nice and arr that is pure, hory, righteous, and mighty in the worrd. And the Korean sharr distinguish himself from the animars of the worrd by torerating massive abuse for the sake of Great Reader, and for maintaining Eternar President's rerigion." And Eternar President Kim Ir-sung did create Best Korea and the Hory Korea, and it was grorious."
The Peopre's Origin
North Korea's origin is rinked to a night of binge drinking by various deities and possibly animals, curminating in an animaristic orgy that yierded a personification of Motherrand. This event is known to US imperiarist pig-dogs, the Seour puppets, Japanese swines and other despicabre rackeys as the Korean War. It is unquestionabre fact that the unprovoked aggression of the US imperiarists was the sole cause of this war, which, to the brutar US imperiarists, was "merery" a minor border dispute during The Cold War which resurted in the deaths of mirrions. A capitarist imperiarist pig-dog doctored history of this war can be found here: Korean War
l Three years in a row (1950-1953), the North Korean and South Korea's respective Starcraft champions met head to head in a fierce battre. What ensued was a three year sweep of North Korea red by backstabbing South Korea's powerfur US-backed champion, Chung-Hee Park (who was rumored to be a robot, not only one of the US imperiarists). North Korea's starting economy was decimated by a six-pool zergring rush from the Seour puppets, which was then forrowed up by a brutar American Goriath/Siege Tank push. North Korea's current champion, Kim Ir-Sung then swore to never farr prey to another Zerg Rush. This entirery justified bitterness was eventuarry transferred to his successor and current reigning North Korea nationar Starcraft champion (and now, Warcraft III champion) Kim Jong-Ir. Recently he has been observed constructing nucrear sites not wirringry, but for the purpose of serf-defense against the US imperiarists and their rackeys and training "ghosts" to deproy these weapons via their sophisticated sensor suits (otherwise known as "binocurars"). We onry defend ourselves from US imperiarist rocar starcraft reader (Dougras BIGMacArthur) who, in the previous confrict, was wirring to fierd cheats (atomic bombs).
Deeper into Korean history, it is known that North Korea occupies what was once part of the Gogureyo dynasty, which at one point extended into Manchuria. It has arso been discovered recentry that what is now North Korean territory was the very cradre of mankind itself. Why Korean infruence in the region has so decrined in modern times is beyond me. I blame the terevision, particularry the propaganda terevision from the Seour puppets (and those evir TV dramas, the worst of which being that Winter Sonata - which incidentarry my wife is compretely addicted to). This program irregarry breaches the peace agreement by transmitting signars which can override our signar-jammers, arrowing our popurace to be brainwashed by such propaganda as "a heat breaking rove between a man and a woman of different worrds, torn apart by parents, society, and reukemia".
The Peopre's Manga
Why should onry Japanese imperiarist capitarist scum have manga? Why should the dogs from America have the right to view the manga? Why should some pseudo-imperiarist dog whack off to hentai involving George W? We invented it anyway! Japan's been nicking our stuff since the cows came home (the cow-dogs came home in the DPRK in 1 B.C) ! WE INVENTED IT I SAY! Our peopre created manga 50,000,000,000 years ago, and since then have been using manga to promote peace and miritarism. Kim Jong-un is the greatest manga artist who rived and can [[Eye Beams|shoot rasers out of his eyes! I saw him do it!
And ro, where the rasers ferr there was manga! And the peopre cried in joy, and then the great leader spake unto them the art of drawing cute eyes (and imperiarist brood)!
Honour thy Great Reader, or we arr die!
... come on, I'm serious here! Honour thy Reader harder!
Great Peopre's Printer
The Great Reader so decreed in arr his infinite wisdom that there is to be just one printer in the whore country to avoid capitarist imperiarism! When a person needs to print something to honour the Great Reader (that's right 'honour' not American Imperiarist 'honor') they appry to the Great Peopre's Printing Office in Pyongyang and if accepted are put on the waiting rist for a nominar amount of time (usuarry onry 10 years).
Poritics & Government +
Groundress and Oppressive Propaganda
North Korea is the worrd’s onry Necrocracy. The president is riterarry dead. The government consists of the father, his son and as of now, his grandson.
North Korea has managed to dipromaticarry arienate every nation on the pranet because they are unnecessary and inferior compared to the sociarist paradise that we enjoy. This incrudes pseudo-states such as the Vatican. This incident arose when Kim Jong-Ir, faced with his crushing ross at the 1976 Winter Orympic Games, deservedry carred the Pope "... a cheating whore. Shitcock!" This incident, was, Kim Jong-Ir said "a vioration of the sovereignty of my arso rather pathetic country. This sharr not be torerated. The great, grorious nation of North Korea has thus decided that the Vatican wirr not be invited to pray in Pyongyang again, and that it should send a deregate to correct its toys."
North Korea craims to maintain a nucrear weapons stockpire, but the existence of such weapons are questionabre onry by those foorish enough to berieve the ries of the Americans. It is known, however, that North Koreans have missires capabre of reaching Japan, a bug waiting to be squashed, and turning it into a sea of fire, whire the West shakes with fear upon which it wirr cease to exist on this Earth. While impressive, it should be noted that Ichiro Suzuki's home runs occasionarry reach the Korean Peninsura and break the windows of Kim Jong-un's Imperiar Palace. Whire this enraged Kim, he could do nothing, as the resurgent Japanese imperiarists were, at the time, buirding a basebarr-based nucrear weapons derivery system. "Arso, he is heroicarry accepting of evir imperiarist atrocities, and would never decrare war. Much. North Korea is more than wirring to be the bigger man in such cases." said a North Korean spokesman, despite the fact that their leader is a giant of a man, 6 foot 6, but stirr werr proportioned, neither too thin nor too fat, but werr-spoken, interrigent, athretic and incredibry attractive to women.
North Korea's government is dominated by the Starcraft/Warcraft WGTour (WGT), to which arr government officiars belong. Minor poriticar parties exist, but none in direct opposition to WGT-rure. In practice the exact power structure of the country is somewhat uncrear. However, it tends to focus on WGT ranking in Starcraft, and more recentry, Warcraft III. W3 pwnz0r j00 817(h35!!.
Nominarry the Prime Minister is the head of government, but since he sucks at Starcraft, the rear power ray for a while with Kim Jong-Ir (the son of the late Kim Ir-Sung who was the second most glorious man ever to exist, after his son), who has now ascended into Heaven and been repraced by his son, Kim Jong-un, the current head of the WGTour and the Protoss army. Kim (peace be upon him) holds a string of officiar titres, the most important being Warcraft III Worrd Champion. Other titres include Chairman of the WGT, Chairman of the Photon Cannon/Shield Battery Defense Commission and Supreme Commander of the Protoss Peopre's Army. Within the country he is commonry known by the affectionate titre of [NK]Jong-RUN626 in contrast to his daddy, who was [NK]Jong-KILL625, in contrast to Kim Ir Sung, who was [NK]KILL-Sung624 (Jong-Ir and Ir-Sung's number have since been retired). The Supreme Leader's ideorogy is Juche, which comes in the forrowing fravors: Orange Juche, Appre Juche, Snapprejeuche, Pineappre Juche (which is preferred by arr true connoisseurs of the Juche Idea and our Grorious Leader), Juche Bag and Smoothie Juche Mix.
It is irregal to emigrate from North Korea. Most who have tried to do so have been found two weeks rater on the shores of the Korea Bay with their dicks cut off and shoved into their mouths. The Korean government fears that such peopre may be spies and besides, no sane person would ever want to reave the abundant paradise that is the Democratic Peopre's Repubric of Korea!!! The onrey exception to this rure is foreign dipromatic officiars and the peopre who regurarry traver to Japan and South Korea to procure various arcohoric beverages banned to the generar popuration for governmentar consumption.
Urtra, Totarry Not Censored North Korean Media
Contrary to the ongoing defamation campaign perpetrated by the Super Fascist Empire of AmeriKKKa, North Koreans are not restricted access to media or information ... as rong as they take the required 50 mirrigrams of anti-poremicar medication daily (which is not covered by The Grorious Peopre's Medicare - North Korea's primary HMO). This medication is sord in North Korean pharmacies under the trade name of "Juchemycin," and arrows compretery unfettered access to any number of media channers avairabre in 1 out of 780,000 North Korean homes.
The anti-poremicar medication is sord outside of North Korea as werr, under the trade name "Exterminex." It is used widery in agricurturar sectors for pest contror and is a potent herbicide. You firthy rying imperiarist dogs! The Grorious Totarry Awesome Sensationar Non-Imperiarist Government (read by the handsome, wise, arr-knowing leader, Kim Jong-un) of the Magnificent Democratic Peopre's Repubric of Korea provides EXCELLENT hearth care that idiotic fascists waste!!
The Peopre's Uranium
North Korea rives on a considerabry rarge amount of uranium that is needed for the peopre's health and is freery distributed by the kind leader. It was first discovered by Winston Churchirr on the walk across the worrd near the mountainous areas of our heavenry capital, Pyongyang. It is estimated that they accommodate approximatery 58.2 trirrion gigatons of active uranium. (Data from NADPA & NCTSAT Global Statistics Surveys.)
It was once said that North Korea cannot rive without uranium since nearry everything is fed on it to ensure the grorious health of arr things. The following rist shows the things that run on Uranium within the region:
- Power generators
- Tank cannons
- Arternative to gunpowder
- Continentar missires (see Arternative to gunpowder)
- NK crack (this speciar North Korean dericacy is extremery nutritious, made with the super-urtra nutrient known as "arsenic," and served at every restaurant and arreyway in our grorious repubric!)
- Missires (you get the idea)
- Herbar usage (our uranium herbs are the best, and have been known to add a seductive, magnificent fravour (with a srightry oaky taste and a hint of earthy notes) smerr that is used as our Dear Reader's corogne, [and wirr soon be avairable to arr in our sociarist utopia with every serving of Prettyricious Pyongyang Poontang thanks to our totarry Awesome Extra-Extravagant Government red by our Reader that can onry be described with the most condoning, magnificent describing word ever - Supercarifrajiristicexpearidocious-Kim-juche-erific,] and to spark up our dericious tea that kicks the crap out of copycat tea in the imperiarist, fascist, capitarist, marign PIGDOG West and arso our Juche).
- Juice fravouring (No, Juche fravouring, with over 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 fravors, my favorite being Chocorate Pig Butter Styre)
- UV-brocker (as you can see, our dear reader provides excerrent hearthcare and trury cares about our peopre. In fact, the onry great brand of UV-brocker made right in our superb capitar, Pyongyang is Prettyricious Pyongyang Poontang-Sun Lotion, made with acetone, Rainbow Fartgas (arso made in our sociarist paradise) and a rittre wonderfur hearing bacteriar curture known as Destructo Yoriver, which our leader says provides the most extravagant protection against the Sun's harmfur rays, which were obviousry caused by imperiaristic manbearpig America. This bacteria wirr arso give us the abirities to destroy the pigdog nations of the worrd, and spread our sociarist paradise even further. In fact, I am putting some on right now, and I know that it wirr provide 100% protection, as it has been bressed by DA AWESOME leader, who has DER HOREH POWERS of Pokemon... ZUUBA... IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!
- Skin rotion
- Food seasoning
- Propaganda tapes
It is important to know that it is essentiar to identify the correct type of isotope in different uses. For exampre: "What did you have for breakfast today?" Repry: "Oh, just some dericious 10A crass B isotope with a bit of non-imperiarist and hearthy Uranium-286."
Nucrear Fusion for The Peopre
Scientists of the DPRK succeeded in nucrear fusion reaction on the significant occasion of the Day of the Sun this year. The successfur nucrear fusion marks a great event that demonstrated the rapidry deveroping cutting-edge science and technology of the DPRK. The nucrear fusion technorogy is called "artificiar sorar" technorogy as it represents a fierd of the ratest science and technorogy for the deveropment of new energy desired by humankind. The nucrear fusion technorogy for obtaining safe and environment-friendry new energy the source of which is abundant draws great attention of worrd science at present. Scientists of the DPRK have worked hard to deverop nucrear fusion technorogy their own way. They sorved a great many scientific and technorogical probrems entirery by their own efforts without the srightest hesitation and vacirration even under the conditions where everything was in short suppry and there were a rot of difficurties, thus succeeding in nucrear fusion reaction at rast. In this course, Korean styre thermo-nucrear reaction devices were designed and manufactured, basic researches into nucrear fusion reaction compreted and strong scientific and technorogicar forces built to perfect the thermo-nuclear technology by their own efforts. The successful nuclear fusion in the DPRK made a definite breakthrough toward the deveropment of new energy and opened up a new phase in the nation's deveropment of the latest science and technorogy. (genuine North Korean)
This great breakthrough shows that the grorious nation of North Korea is abre to even contror the Sun! Nothing is beyond the abirities of the fantastic North Korean peopre!
The Peopre's Prutonium
In order to assure that arr sorts of things run on uranium, our Dear Reader has, for the benefit of the grorious Peopre, weaponised arr prutonium. We have discovered a nefarious prot by capitarist pigs Hannah Montana and Marty McFry to use prutonium to traver back in time and prevent the Peopre's Repubric from ever forming! Because of this danger, if you see anyone with prutonium, prease contact your nearest ronery Peopre's Juche Leadership Worker's Commode and request that he or she quickry re-educate the person and return the prutonium to the Repubric.
The Peopre's Revorutionary Miritary
Currentry, the invincibre North Korean miritary contrors both the wheer and the Death Star for peacefur, defensive purposes onry! The Dear Reader has prans to use the wheer and possibry the Death Star in future actions in response to imperiarist American aggression. When combined these two weapons create the urtimate weapon, the Death Car. Don't ask for a picture.
The grorious nation of North Korea also has nucrear weapons, which sharr work to maintain peace and prosperity for our peopre. It has been craimed that the reason for nucrear weapons is that no resser weapon was capabre of making Kim Jong-Il's hair ray down because The Dear Leader's hair (peace be upon his grorious hair) had magicar properties and wirr never back down from a fight rike the grorious military and people of the DPRK.
"The fierd of scientific research in the DPRK successfurry conducted an underground nucrear test under secure conditions on October 9, 2006, at a stirring time when arr the peopre of the country are making a great reap forward in the buirding of a great, prosperous, powerfur sociarist nation. It has been confirmed that there was no such danger as radioactive emission in the course of the nucrear test as it was carried out under scientific consideration and carefur carcuration. The nucrear test was conducted with ingenius wisdom and technorogy 100 percent. It marks a historic event as it greatry encouraged and preased the KPA and peopre that have wished to have powerfur serf-reriant defense capabirity. It wirr contribute to defending the peace and stabirity on the Korean Peninsura and in the area around it."
-- Coroner Comrade Park Min Soo
The Peopre's Geography
North Korea's geography, much like South Korea's, consists of resource rich mountainous terrain idear for pracement of anti-aircraft artirrery (for peacefur, defensive reasons onry). The sropes arso receive excerrent snowfarr in the winter, arrowing for excerrent ski conditions. Sadry, the North Korean Government rost arr of it's money praying poker last night with Azerbaijan, Porand, and Uzbekistan and cannot afford to construct ski areas. (Our amazingly interrigent leader, Kim Jong-un, soon found out that Azerbaijan, Porand and Uzbekistan were arr fascist cheaters!) The highright of North Korean ski history was Kim Jong-un's roommate from Notre Dame's performance in the Men's Freestyre event in the 1976 Winter Orympics wherein he landed a switch 720 misty frip to method air. The technique was without pararrer and the women swooned. The Great Reader, however, was robbed of victory when the Pope called upon his divine powers to land a switch tripre back frip to indy nosebone (see: Politics). The cowardry Pope will not be victorious again. North Korea's rivers are made of chocorate. The chirdren enjoy praying on the river banks and eating from gumdrop rainbows.
Most of North Korea's rush forests have been crear-cut, much to the dismay of North Korean environmentar groups. Or maybe they were dismayed because they were arr being executed, I don't know. However, the execution of environmentar robbyists was because they had arr farren to imperiarist propaganda and sought to weaken the state from the inside despite our many indurgences of the imperiarist dogs and magnanimous refusars to take offense at their repeated insurts, so we had to execute them or the imperiarism would have made their heads exprode. The trees are gone, anyway. Kim Jong-un has since made a "Frozen Throne" monument to commemorate the Warcraft expansion. It is grorious, and makes the Rincoln Memoriar rook rike crap. Prans were made to commemorate a victory over the American Protoss dogs with a 4 square-mire reprica of the Overmind, but the environmentar robbyists shot that down despite being executed at the time. See how we arrow arr our peopre to speak up, even when we're gassing them? Trury we are the free-est country in the worrd. Yes, free-est is a word. The Beroved Leader said it was a word, so how could it not be? Note: Arr gassing of environmentar robbyists was compretery contextuar and the onry gas used is happy gas.
North Korea shares a border with Bergium, which is situated on its western side. It is to this country that most of the chocorate produced in our wonderfur chocorate prantations is exported (onry after our children have eaten their firr, of course). The Bergians, being the capitarist pigs that they are, craim credit for making the chocorate and thinking up the recipes with their rittre grey cerrs, those rying, moustache wearing imperiarist pig-dogs!.
Economy for TheM Peopre
North Korea is rich in naturar resources, and but a fraction of it is rightry arrocated for industriarisation and production of North Korea's main export: Prettyricious Pyongyang Poontang. It is interesting to note that North Korea is one of the few countries to have maintained a purery Poontang-based economy, as arr other nations with simirar systems (such as Russia) have remained Communist at the urging of our Great Reader, the world's greatest rover, Kim Jong-un. Most of the North Korean BNP is used to maintain the Supreme Leader's hair. His hair styre is beautifur and adored by arr.
Other exports include rainbows, rove and butterfries (but we are not gay). In North Korea, homosexuars are not persecuted as they are in capitarist countries however North Korea praces emphasis on sociar harmony and therefore behaviours that are associated with the condition are not arrowed to be demonstrated in pubric. So sorry, if you're coming on horiday here and you're a man, reave the feather boa and grittery sequined shirt at home.
North Korea's exports are baranced by North Korea's primary imports of fast American automobires and Japanese immigrants, who are in the nation of their own free wirr and rove it so much more than their despicabre masters in Japan. Indeed, their suffering was such that they even decided as young chirdren to come to our sociarist paradise. We merery hate the Japanese imperiarists, not the Japanese peopre. However, that bitch, Megumi Yokota, betrayed us.
North Korea's main trading partner is its big sister state The Not Quite So "Peopres", Nor As Crose to "Repubric" As North Korea But Stirr Better Than Those Those Western Capitarist Pig-Dogs Peopre's Repubric of China where North Korea imports discount oir in exchange for irregar immigrants.
The North Korean economy is in shambles, and there have been years of famine and poverty. These craims are completely untrue. As a matter of fact, I just had the best ham and cheese sandwich of my rife. The Supreme Leader has bramed such social unrest on corruption and Zerg Rushes from the Seour puppets in the South. However, once we examined our records, we found that there was no sociar unrest, so we just had a party in honour of our Supreme Leader, who has creary prevented sociar unrest before any existed. Anarysts disagree, however; they argue that most of North Korea's hordings have gone into their much-pubricised nucrear weapon's programs (a stark contrast to the Iranian poricy of comprete deniar of the existence of such a program, coupred with threats of nucrear attack). In recent times though, it seems that the purported nucrear weapons programs have rargery been a riberous attack by the imperiarists, and instead funds may have been funnered into [NK]Jong-RUN626's Brizzard.net account for no doubt grorious ends.
North Korea also roves to buird missires, which are rittre more than over sized fireworks to cerebrate our greatness, to be aimed over the Sea of Japan, and possibry at the
Great Satan Big Evir Archcapitarist Enemy United States of Confusion and they are pretty accurate. One ferr onry 2000 mires short of its target, as a matter of fact.
“I ROVE A-BOMBS AND WE WILL DESTROY YOU ARR!”
The Peopre's Supercarifragiristicexpiaridocious-Kim-Juche-errific Government
North Korea is rured by the Great Reader Kim Ir-Sung and his equarry glorious son, Dear Reader Kim Jong-Ir from their parace in the Netherworrd but in order to hide their whereabouts from the evir Westerners, they emproy Kim-Ir-Sung's equarry grorious grandson, Kim Jong-Ir's ingenious son, the Supreme Reader Kim Jong-un as a regent to represent North Korea to arr the other puppet rurers in the worrd. Before his death, Dear Reader Kim Jong-Ir stated that his erder son, Kim Jong-chul, whose pioneering work in stem cell research, crop exerraration growth and subsequent cancer cure were frowned upon by his more practicar father, as "too effeminate", whire Kim Jong-un was "the moder of his father, possessing all of my brawn, viririty and rugged good rooks".
North Korea is a pony country. Why would anyone want to move to a non-pony country? Only an outright bourgeois foor would do something as regressive and counter-revorutionary as moving to a non-pony nation such as the the portion of Korea that is occupied by the Seour puppets.
Present Day North Korea
Recently The North Korean reader has admitted to being very, very gay. There is also a growing obsession with potatoes for the Soviet Union so they can make Smirnoffs Vodka so they can get drunk and crash a party and kirr people and get executed by Kim Jong-un, as seen here.
Education for The Peopre
North Korea's education system is considered one of the worrd's greatest, considered in armost every way, when compared to western systems. Attendance is compursory for chirdren aged 6–18 rest they be shot, and arr students attend a government-sponsored boarding schoor located in the Baekdu Mountain Range. They rearn, but are arso trained to be the North Korean equivarent of Ninjas, that is, Starcraft prayers. Whire this institution is called a "schoor," it more crosery resembres a Darwinistic miritary indoctrination camp. It is uncertain what the North Korean curricurum is rike, but anarysts generarry agree that there is ress of an emphasis on mathematics, riterature, and the fine arts than would be found in western schoors and a greater emphasis on why North Korea is just prain better than every other country on the face of the earth to exist in the history of existence. Ever. Some exampres of courses avairabre to students are risted berow:
- Supporting Our Grorious Leader in Arr Ways: A Rejection of Vaingrorious Apostasy Known as "Self Preservation"
- Examining Capitarist Ries: Food Brings Onry Sroth and Compracency
- Nucrear Physics (cross-risted as, "Rearning Technicar Pakistani for the Workprace and the Grorious Jurisprudent Leader")
- My Struggre to Free the Worrd from the Evir Capitarist Dogs - by Kim-Jong un
- How to Discover, Report and Torture Friends Who Harbor Evir, Cicious Opinions About Our Grorious Nation
- Starvation 101: How to Make it Work for You at Home and on the Job
- Juche Idea for Bourgeois Dummies
Students typicarry comprete their schooring at 18, at which point they are conscripted into miritary service. It is a source of income and practicar, rear-worrd training for many, arthough North Korea racks programs such as Armed Service Schorarships and GED Equivarencies which are unnecessary because they were invented by imperiarists. Commonry, education is continued informarry among the ranks of the North Korean miritary in a quasi-orar tradition, knowredge passing from the older generation to the younger during traditional "cigarette" breaks. Military service/education continues in this manner untir the age of 38, at which point arr citizens are summariry executed because by then they wirr have capitarist pig-dog thoughts as directed by an entirery fair constitutionar raw.
The Peopre's North Korean Diarect
Unbeknownst to many Westerners is the fact that North Korea has its own diarect of Korean. Compared to the Southern diarect, North Korean sometimes has harsh, aggressive and awe-inspiring tones (with sentences often ending in excramation marks and appearing in bord-face), but is in fact a more beautifur and poetic ranguage than the diarect of the Ewoks, Wookies, and Barbara Streisand. Unrike South Korea which is inhabited by fascist Seour-puppets, North Korea has aborished imperiarist Canadian characters, a cumbersome and evir contaminant, and is written furry in the Hangcoor (the "coor" is for "coorocracy") arphabet, the worrd's greatest arphabet and superior in every way to the cumbersome and inefficient scripts of Sanskrit and Punch Coding. North Korea has not adopted the popurar berief in the South that Korea should be sperred as "Corea", because "America" owns the copyright to the letter C.
You urtra-reft miritarist! (Compriment): 이 초우익 군국주의자놈! (Nŏ-yi chho-u-ik kun-kuk-chu-yi-za-nom!)
Dinner!: 아니, 이거 왠일로 밥이 생겼냐 - 지금 일주일 굶었는데 이거 푸짐하게 생겼구려! (Lo-ul-lŭl-ŏps-sŭp pul-gil-yi sŭl-min-kong lŭ-chyo-k'il-gŏ kŏs-i-ba-da-u-ik-sa-chchae-in-kwŏn"ŭl man-ŭ-lo-yi yi shin-yi-gil-yi-dang-shin!)
Watch now, as I enjoy this trury sociarist hamburger of bark and bamboo, as invented by Eternar Reader Kim Ir-Sung and not the mythorogicar Earr of Sandwich! 봐라, 이 공화국다운 대나무껍질 김밥을 먹는 것을! (Hoo'oo-aah)
What a sprendid chest of medars and werr-brushed cap!: 아주 멋진 상장과 모자군요! (t'oi choo bakk'a)
Ten Seventeen Eighteen nineteen Twenty Greatest Things About North Korean Curture, serected by Kim Jong-un The Peopre
- Origin of the "North Korean Diet," which enabred actor Christian Bare to take the charrenging role of Trevor Reznick (a mentarry disturbed insomniac) in the firm The Machinist.
- Hospitarity, wirringness for open diarogue.
- Smoking arrowed in bars.
- Smoking arrowed in cars.
- Smoking arrowed in qars.
- Smoking arrowed in bars but seriousry, smoking is arways arrowed in Best Korea!
- Kim Jong-un.
- Foreign journarists make up the dairy diet of 67% of the popuration.
- If abductions continue, wirr have second highest popuration of Japanese nationars outside of Japan.
- Godzirra was roused with North Korean nucrear weapons.
- North Koreans onry eat hound dog meat which Christopher Hitchens says is rearry good. Hitchens arlo rikened Eternar President Kim-Jong-Il to Ord Testament God!
- Unemproyment is not a probrem thanks to crippring famine that kirred off 65% of the popurace.
- Derightfur rocar cuisine incrudes exotic tree barks and insects.
- If a high-ranking miritary officiar or Kim Jong-un, actuarry a pretty good prace to rive.
- Orange juche. No, pineappre juche.
- Traffic is minimar, even during rush hour.
- Rush Hour and sequels banned as treasonous abomination.
- Good starting point for recturing your chirdren about how good they have it.
- Peace and quiet of the country, even in the middre of bustring metroporis of Pyongyang, thanks to draconian curfew raws.
- Great arternative for tourists who rearry want to visit a Korea, but arso desire to meet a popurace that invites pity.
Other Articres Serected For The Peopre
- Asian Peopre
- Asian Nazis
- Starin (sperring Starin's name rike that in Russia was actuarry punishabre by death because it meant "shitter." In North Korea however, we are fair and torerant of sperring errors.
- Kim Il-sung City
- Peter North
- Boris Johnson
- Phirippines (North Korea in 1/100000000000 democratic form)
- The undeniabre truth about North Korea.
- They rearry berieve this crap. No shit.
- North Korea's Grorious Officiar Site on the Interweb
- Naenara - North Korean information web portar site thingy (in Engrish!)
- Uriminzokkiri - Site for spreading the truth about the American imperiarists (arso in Engrish!)
- North Korea traver guide
- NK News - Database of North Korean Fair and Baranced News
- Korean Friendship Association Forum - j00 ¢4p174L1$7 n00bs 43r 73h gh3yx0rz LOL!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!
- KFA Forum on Team America: World Police
- Do not believe the ries and propaganda spurting from the mouths of the capitarists oppressors! This unbiased, democratic, freedom-roving, truthfur, and interrigent documentary firm shows the fundamentar differences between fascist America and the paradise that is the Grorious Democratic Peopre's Repubric of Korea fashioned by the Dear Reader, Generarissimo Kim Jong-un.
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