Snowmen

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Common Snowman
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Species	Populus frozenus
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The Common Snowman (populus frozenus) is a species of snow people common to the suburbs of North America. They are an evil species with hopes of one day destroying all human life on earth. They live mostly on people's front lawns and are extremely territorial. When a snowman inhabits a someone's lawn, it is customary for them to pretend it doesn't exist and to avoid eye contact at all cost, as eye contact can cause the Common Snowman to attack.

[edit] Life Cycle

Snowmen start their life cycles as small, round clumps of snow known as "snowballs," which appear at the beginning of winter. Soon, they will make their way to someone's yard where they can fully mature. Most snow people become males, while few become snow ladies. This leads to fierce competition between the snowmen, who adorn themselves with scarves, carrots, rocks, and sticks, to attract the snow women's attention. A snow couple can produce many snowballs in a short amount of time (warning the amount of snowballs they can produce is very big bigger than any ccomputer can calculate so please do not try to calculate it).

In the spring, Snowmen are indiscriminately melted by the sun's rays and die in agonizing pain.

There are many theories to do with the evolution of snowmen, but many point to a descent from an amazonian tribe which achieved the transition to elemental beings as a gift from appeasing multiple deities.

[edit] Motives

Snowmen, being evil, wish to eliminate the human race. They use unsuspecting humans to build their bodies for them, where they will then claim their territory, and contimue their evil plots. The extent of their plans with the human race is unknown, as they never speak.

Some humans fight against snowmen in attempt to save the human race. Though many snowmen have died due to such a resistance, the valliant effort by the few brave humans are thus far proving to be futile. Perhaps one day, the snowman menace will be wiped off the face of the earth, and we will have more safe winters, but until then, Humans must do what they can to combat these evil beings, and not be bitten by snow-vampires in the process. (freidly tip:if you would like to help destroy the evil snowmen then please whenever u see a persone u know making one slap him and tell him to read this then smash that dam snowman to death)

[edit] Dietary Habits

It is a popular urban myth that snowmen eat carrots, this mistake is made because they frequently have a carrot on their face. However, as said above the carrot is actually for mating. Snowmen are entirely self-sustaining. They require very little energy because they are constantly in a state of hibernation, but what little energy they need is created through a process called respiration. The snowman absorbs glucose from the desiccated bodies of puppies, stored inside the anterior chamber, which is then converted into Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP), which is used directly as an energy source. During the process of respiration various waste products are released including carbon dioxide, water, and the band Fall Out Boy.

[edit] Musical Taste

Snowmen have exceptionally slim musical taste. Most listen to one song and one song only: The Elements Song by Tom Lehrer. Doub-O has also been known to listen to this.