Snoop Dogg
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“Yo all you punk-ass niggas, bitches 'n hos, Snoop Dizzle be the shizzile, so don't be making me bust a cap in yo ass, by talkin trashizzle 'bout Snoop.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Snoop Dogg
Snoop"nigga I love chicken, catfish, and head cheese" Dizzle (1 BC-2045 AD) was perhaps the most famous Civil War general in historizzle. On the side of the confedrizzles, he single-handedly won the battle of Estonizzia, the battle of Elbonia, and the battle of Stankonia. Oh yeah, he also kind of had a carizzle as a rappizzle and an actizzle. This paved the way for his true vocizzle - professional famous for being famous (or infamous) celbritizzle.
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[edit] Earlypizzle Lifeozzizzle
Snoop Doggie Dogg was born in New Bjork City in 1 BC along with his little-known twin bizzle, Jesus. He is the son of the USB Dongle Goblin, Bjork, Snoopy the Dog, and Brian from Family Guy. His full name, rarely mentioned, is King Adolfus Gustavus Romulus Schakalaka Weewee Hoobajoobadoob Snoop Doggie DooDoo pinkypantypants Hokeypokie Shakamashoo three tongue clicks, hiccup, two more tongue clicks, maka liki numa numa, tongue click DOGG (and yes on his birth certificizzle it's actuizzly spelt like that)XVIII. He is the half brother of Flavor Flav, and the half-father of Paul Wall and the uncle of Will.I.Am. He is also known as Snoop Doggity Dogg, Snoop D-O-Double G, Snozzle Dizzle Dozzle, and Alfred, but best of all known as "Snoop Doggy Doo Doo". He is the 41st-izzle and soonizzle to be the 43rd presidentizzle of Americizzle. He origninizzle booted Bushizzle out, but was forcizzled back out by Chenizzle, and will take the Whiteizzle houseizzle back some time before 2020. Sometimeizzle after 2030 he will join the Terminatizzle and Mike Jones as the World Trio of Dictatizzles. He currently resides in the Westsidizzle. He is also well knownizzle for being the two-thirds brother of Charlie Brown, and the king of Ebonics.
As a young chizzle, Snoop Dizzle showed an early interest in the militizzle. In 1492, Snoopizzle was draftizzled into the Confederizzle armizzle and rapidizzle moved up the rankizzles. If not for Snoop Dizzle's expertise as a generizzle, the world would not have been conquered by the confedrizzles.
Freshizzle out of westizzle side universitizzle, having gained a degrizzle in pimpnosis and urban studizzles, Snoop Dizzle befriended the strangizzle and experienced oldizzle man Albert Einstein. Einstein was then trying to find a way to reverse time and get his "mojo" back. The two of them worked on the probizzle for severizzle years, then used a simplizzle form of time travel to send their completizzle paper, "Time travel: An Examinizzle of Underlying Principizzles" back to 1908, when it was publishizzled.
Snoop Dizzle was a heavy smoker of the cannabizzizzle weed and Newspaper. He smokizzled it almost daily but especiallizzle at Christmazzizzle time. At Christmazzizzle part-AYS he was knownizzle to get so high he would climbizzle on top of the trezzizzle as seen in the photizzle on the rizzle.
In 1998 he joined an anti-drug campaign called "LA, free of marijuizzle" in which he visited every house in Los Angeles changing marijuana for toys. The obtained weed was stored in his house.
In 2001, he booted out Bush to become the 41st presizzle of Americizzle, but got booted out by cheney a few years later. the people thought he was tottaly gay and decited to distinguish him from the face of the earth. so like a secont latter thousands of people came to distinked him and they fed him to the iltempers mutant sea bass. He was pronunced dead on the ferdy tirst of januaryizzle, but God still had plans for him and brought him back to life on the third dizzle. And he smoked a big bluntizzle.
Snoop dizzle also has a cousizzle down south europe called m to the zizzle famous for drive by's with his homizle G down in romizzle. M to the zizzle, homie G and vizzle are of course the shizzle. Some argue that snoop's vocabizzle was influencizzled by them three homizzles.
DRIVE-BY
[edit] His familizzle
His dad-ay beatizzle Snoopizzle, with a whipizzle. Sometimes with a beltizzle. At Thirty-izzle, Snoop's dad, Brian (aka Shnop Mop Higgy Wiggy Mizzle Sna Bizzle), died of Cancerizzle, AIDizzles, and the plagueizzle. His sista-izzle died of herpizzle, and his mamma-izzle, Bjork (or was that Snoopy?), walked-izzle out...IZZLE.
DIRTBALLLLLLLLLizzzle.
[edit] Legarizzle
A little known fact about Snoop Doggy Dogg's life is that he once sueizzled B&Q for selling chizels due to infringement of copyrightizzle. The court order was later fizzled out.
[edit] ESPN Univizzle
Snoop Dogg attended ESPN U in 1990 and graduated in 1994. He reportedly had a 8.9 Grade Point Average and had bangizzled 47 bitchizzles at the same time.... izzle.. He went on to say about his time there and I quote "Fo Shizzle my Nizzle I wentizzle to izzle Univizzle and graduatizzle." Stuart Scott went on to say that snoopy was his favorite student because he didn't just learn he smoked pot drank tequila and fucked linda cohn. Which Stuart Scott wanted to do all his life.
Snoopy was a part of the ESPNEWS house and got bitch slapped by Stephen A. Smith. Then Snoopizzle fuckizzle his mother. then he fuckizzled izzle and i dunno its some gayizzle shitizzle my nipple dickizzle
[edit] The Popeizzle
In the yearizzle 2021, Snoop Dogg ran for Popeizzlacy and wonizzle. He changed the Bibizzle cover and put a weedizzle pictizzle on the front. He legalizzled weedizzle to all Christizzles and was the most famousizzle popeizzle ever. In later years, Snoopy Doggy Dizzle would publizzle severalizzle copies of the Bibizzle for the public. Later he would listenizzle to Puffizzle the Magical Gangsterizzle, he thoughtizzle it was realizzle and rewrote the biblizzle.
[edit] The Religizzon
The Dogg Father fizzounded a chizzurch in 2044 b-cuz he was sizzick of "this mark-ass shizznit these other relizzigions be tizzeachin" loolkkkl
- The Chizzurch of Dee Oh Double Gee came in exizztence After Snoop Dizzle be smokin' a fat bitch with hiz hoez and passed out. When he wuz consiouz again, he thought he waz god, as did the hoez.
He believes the world was sperm that went in to a bitch and created mother earth.
[edit] Deazzithle
Snoop Dogg forgot to dieizzle, and when God retirizzled, SNOOP G-O-Double-D took over his jobizzle.I guessizzle you could sayizzle God and Snoopizzle are close g's. It's said in an ancientizzle Aztect Legenizzle that Snoopy Doggizzle and Godizzle took turns smokizzleing their herbizzle to create the bigizzle bangizzle. Sourcizzles show this is indeedizzle truizzle. The gangstizzles of Chicagoizzle said that Godizzle didn't existizzle he got all madizzle and wentizzle all crazizzle on their hineyizzle. After this godizzle bizizzle he became a rap starizzle to hide from the chicagoizzle gangsterizzles...it didn't workizzle. Fo Shizzle.
[edit] Discogizzle
Doggy Style Part 2: Tha Sequizzle
Snoop Dogg's 3rd Studio Album (Snoop Dogg was high on weed at the time, and cannot remember the name of his 3rd Stuio Album, he didn't even remember recording)
Snoop Dogg's 4th Studio Album (See reason above)
Snoop Dogg's 8th Studio Album (Nigga claimed he has now lost count)
No More Weed Fo' Shizzle ! (This album has been disregarded, as we all no this nigga smokin' weed like a professional)
Tha Blue Carpet Treatment (Snoop Dogg claims that the name was suggested by a friend who specializes in DIY)
Ego Trippin' (Snoop Dogg based this album on a almost fatal accident in which he encounterd. This nigga be walkin' down the street one day, minding his own business as a nigga shud be when . . . TRIP ! Dis nigga tripped. He survived with minor injuries including a broken weed blunt; This album features Snoop Dogg performing his greatest hits accompanied by the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra.)
