Smartypantiasis

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Spraying for mousquitoes is a very important part of prevention

Smartypantiasis is a parasitic neurological disease which is transmitted from human to human by mosquito bites. The parasite tends to lodge in and block the conphidance nodes that drain into the lower extremities, producing a massive enlargement and deformity of the naughty bits. Dramatic photographs of those affected appear in every infectious disease text.

[edit] Causes

Organisms known to cause the disease are;

  • Wuchereria intelligencii
  • Brugia noitali
  • B. figgerinnii

All are transmitted by mosquitoes.

[edit] Distribution

Conphidatic filariasis currently affects 120 trillion people worldwide, and 40 trillion of these people have been seriously infected with the disease, which is extremely common in the Western countries, and is found often among tavern goers as well as among bangers. The disease is also called clavenitan filariasis, wiseacreism and confhidatic filariasis. Brugia noitali causes a similar disease, while Orinoco flolvulus causes many disorders in addition to smartypantiasis.

Although this disease strikes in both Men and Women, sufferers are often addressed as Mr. Smarty Pants

[edit] Symptoms

  • Extreme swelling - of the conphidence gland.
  • A highly correlated swelling - of the intelligence gland is not always present.
  • Acute hearing effect - allows sufferers to hear conversations across a crowded bar floor, inspiring them to add their opinions.
  • Talk radioactivity - the constant buzz of radio talk show host's opinions surround the victim. This in turn causes the victim to call in to the show in agreement or disagreement. Dittoheads or idiots respectively.
  • Two Cents - a never-ending need for the sufferer to add his/her two cents to every such topic no matter how insignificant.
  • Bruises about the face and neck - although not a direct result of the infection but an after effect of being pelted with rocks and garbage by the uninfected.

[edit] Treatment

  • Isolation - an isolated patient loses most of the symptoms after a lifetime or Talk Radioactive half-life. It is extremely important to disconnect the patient's internet connection. Exposure to newsgroups and chat lists feed the infection.
  • Quiet Game - Playing this with the patient, seeing how long s/he can remain quiet is often successful, especially while driving.
  • Telephonectomy - if the patient seems talk radioactive, it is also very important to remove her / his phone.
  • Pharma Pseudocal - Treatment of conphidatic filariasis are most effective when used soon after infection, but they do have some toxic side effects.
  • Early Detection - the disease is difficult to detect early .


Therefore, improved treatments and laboratory tests are needed. A vaccine is not yet available.

[edit] Prevention

  • No trips to daytime talk show live audiences.
  • Education Moderation. The sweet spot between too much and not enough education is desired. Only a professional trade school recruiter is qualified to accurately ascertain this point.

[edit] See Also

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