Sitok Automatic rifle
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“This is my DREAM!. I MASTURBATE to this!!!.”
~ Southern Hick on The Sitok Rifle
“Goddamn those Intel bastards!. I knew they were up to no good”
~ Righteous leader of AMD on The SiTok Automatic Rifle.
“Cheryl, arm my guards with these wonderful weapons”
~ Osama Bin Laden on The Si-tok automatic rifle
This article is about a very rare rifle. If you're a cheap bastard who wants inferior COMMON rifles please see [Ak-47]].
Contents |
[edit] Introduction
The Si-Tok rifle. Is a fully automatic futuristic rifle known among gun fanatic circles as a living legend, is probably the uberl33t3st rifle in the world. And if used with Rat-Ammo (supposedly produced by Ratzinger for use by the Modern Swiss Guard). Can punch a devastating hole right into the Giza Pyramids....
However, its origins, manufacture, etc. is currently unknown as although efforts are being made by researches at Intel to recreate fully functioning identical version of this rifle for mass use by the Fanatical Jesant Army. Little reported progress has been made and people (especially Catholics) the world over are sighing with relief.
[edit] Legal Implications
Banned in 54 countries, the United States included. This rifle is not even used by the innermost circles of the Worlds most deplorable government agencies due to its horrific Tsar Bomba scale killing power. While the Branch Dravidians at Waco supposedly had 3 large caches of these infamous 'toys'. They were never recovered and there have been supposed sightings of J'elites (Jesant Army super-skilled special-ops soldiers) using these weapons against lesser armed Nuns.
[edit] Specifications
- A fine, military grade Stainless steel/Carbon-Diamond alloy with Altera-pressure bullet chamber that has a guaranteed heavy duty lasting of 58 years. (2,000 under light duty use).
- A Rifle butt made of Hardened Ceramic mixed with depleted Uranium and coated with an ultra-smooth weatherproof Exonerite anti-explosive coating.
- 7.5mm Molecular Compression barrel with kinetically charged gel pushers powered by either fuel cell or 17% of 5 consecutive bullet shots within an hour (5 bullets makes for 24 days of fully powered gel pushers and all other electrical pieces)
- NanoMeter Precision holographically projected scope with an optimum viewing range of 2 kilometers day/1 kilometer night.
[edit] Killing Power
This weapon is so feared because of its sheer force.
- It propels each bullet at an acceleration of 1MegaMeter/second and that triple every 10 seconds to max out (if it even goes that far) at 86^28 Tera Meters/second and an impact at maximum speed with a force that is ten times that of a SuperNovae
- Can pierce even Israel's most fearsome Tank (The Merkava XVII with its Magnetic-Anti-Bullet field turned on full.)
