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Website

A location upon where a spider spins a web, a Website is commonly used as material for bookcovers and artificial banana skins.

Their main purpose is as a repository for pornographic images, which otherwise would fill hard drives and restrict PCs to Windows 95 levels. Microsoft, in their constant struggle to improve the smooth running of computers and operating systems took drastic steps as the Millenium Bug (see Godzilla vs the Millenium Bug) threatened to take over the world.

Another popular use for Websites now are as writing material. Nubile Teens often enjoy acquiring pet spiders and creating their own website. Watching these creatures spin these websites into what is sometimes termed the "world wide web" can be a fun and enjoyable experience for the whole family.

A fine example of a website is http://www.makeliamfamous.tk which is an uterly pointless website but has good mathematical problems (err... not really) and excellent spelling of words such as the following: In, The, Me, You, Famous, We, Not, Here.

See Blogging.

A noob website

Internet Explorer 8

Welcome to my site,

I can do HTML n evereefin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im cool n' stuff coz I can do blank pages like this and stuff

Recent News

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On this day...

Cellphone

June 21: St. Nokia's Day, Last Day of Spring

  • 5400 BCE - Prehistoric Druids create early pornography out of large stones on the Salisbury Plain of England. Unfortunately it only works one day a year, leading to many wars.
  • 24 CE - Hippies celebrate "The Coming of Life", the summer solstice, in the streets after new dope harvest.
  • 524 - Godomar, King of the Burgundians, moves his throne to to his Mountain Chablis.
  • 654 - Howard Hughes finds out that there are germs even in airplanes.
  • 1138 - First IKEA opens in Durham by Viking invaders.
  • 1910 - A Japanese kittenhoefer kills Alexander Graham Bell and patents the cell phone. It weighs four hundred pounds and has a 300-mile long spool of cable accompanying it.
  • 1912 - Cingular makes its first attempt at raising the bar, then dies.
  • 1914 - The question "What if the hokey pokey IS what it's all about?" is first raised by Mark Twain.
  • 1915 - Supreme Court of the United States rules that Oklahoma cannot deny some of its citizens the right to vote. The Chief Justice then proceeds to insult Woodrow Wilson over his attempts to allow women to have a voice beyond choosing what's for dinner.
  • 1940 - WWII: France surrenders to Germany out of habit.
  • 1941 - WWII: France surrenders to Germany again, for good measure.
  • 1942 - WWII: France celebrates the anniversary of their surrender to Germany and the establishment of the Vichy government with parades, parties, and a third surrender to make sure the message was received.
  • 1964 - The KKK appreciates the civil rights movement by murdering three of its members.
  • 1982 - John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of batshit insanity for trying to kill President Reagan; Hinckley mistakenly dedicates his win to Jodie Sweetin.
  • 1989 - Ving Rhames turns 30; Libya explodes.
  • 1994 - Figures released by the University of Cambridge show that 92% of those born under the star sign Cancer actually get cancer, whereas 12% turn into crabs.
  • 1995 - Figures released by Harvard University show that 93% of Cambridge students are unable to properly add percentages.
  • 1996 - Figures released by Cambridge say "Bite me, Harvard". Harvard declines comment.
  • 1997 - Harvard purchases Cambridge and changes it to an automotive maintenance and bartending school.
  • 1998 - The Republican Party loses its old leader, gains a new one. Bozo the Clown memorabilia regains popularity.
  • 2002 - The WHO finally cures polio. They go on to do an encore with Magic Bus and Pinball Wizard.
  • 2006 - Scientists find that Pluto has two moons.
  • 2007 - Scientists find that Pluto is not a planet.
  • 2008 - Scientists find that Pluto never existed in the first place.
  • 2009 - Pluto sues science for defamation of existence.
  • 2012 - Scientists discover that there's not always room for Jello.

Featured picture

Falstropskittenhuffing

Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image Credit: Sannse
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Guide to Creating a Successful Website

see main article: HowTo:Create a Website

There are a set number of steps necessary in creating a successful website. Start by analysing the average from the content of the most successful websites, and then through subtle manipulation copy and paste, know to Webmasters as the "Copy and Paste Technique".

Standard subject matter should include:

It is important to try to add lots of large images, as well as javascript, enabling "snowfall" or "magic" mouse trails. Embedded MIDI files are a must.

WARNING!: Try not to make it as weird and pointless as the site Workingbrains, good god that place is pointless.

For addition help please view HowTo:Create a Website

List of websites

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Website is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.