Sir Uncyclopedia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“This man saved me from Wales.”
Sir Uncyclopedia (1984 BC - 645 AC) was a knight of Uncyclopedia, well known for completing the infamous Four Trials.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
- Main article: UnBooks:The Four Trials of Sir Uncyclopedia
When this great hero wasn't pwning n00bs or crushing the skulls of Wikipedians, Sir Uncyclopedia could be found bashing Encyclopædia Dramaticans, eating opposers of Uncyclopedia, and crushing the skulls of Wikipedians with blunt force.
[edit] Intermediate times between the Invasions of Wikiland (1984 BC - 63 AC)
Sir Uncyclopedia was born one year after the first Invasion of Wikiland (IOW) into the tribe of Norris, the Royal family, a relative of Chronarion. He was dubbed "Sir Uncyclopedia" in July 1860 BC, after bribing Oscar Wilde's ghost with £999.99 (about $9,999,287.99 in "correct" money).
Between the dates of 1872 BC and 49 AC, Sir Uncyclopedia completed the first three Trials (see intro), before later being called to fight against Lord Pelican Shit of the Vabnal society of Wikipedia in 63 AC.
[edit] Second IOW (63 AC)
In 63 AC, Sir Uncyclopedia was sent by Sophia to fight in the Battle of WikiMeta, a massive battle in which, it is reported by an Official Chronicler™, had 36,121 WikiMetans dead, yet only 922 of Uncyclopedia's soldiers dead. This is explained by Oscar Wilde's famous quote, dating all the way back from the year 1992 BC:
“Wikipedia sucks.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Wikipedia
After this fierce battle, Uncyclopedia celebrated the victory over the capital of the Wikipedii with his remaining 4,532 soldiers.
[edit] Judging
When King Chronarion was captured by the Anti-Uncyclopedia in 624 AC, Uncyclopedia was made an honorary judge, that is, an honorary dictator, though his time was short-lived, for he soon DIED. He was a successful judge.
[edit] Death
On December 3 645 AC, Sir Uncyclopedia was called for his forth and final trial. He was to battle King Jimbo I the Magnificent of Wikiland, at the famous Battle of Wales.
He travelled, with his still large army, over hills and mountains, valleys and deserts, through forests and jungles and grasslands and plains, over snow, over sand, into caverns and more, until he realised that he was headed the wrong way, so he had to turn back.
Eventually, three months later and forty-eight men down, the 4,484 men in Sir Uncyclopedia's army arrived at the battlefield. They met Jimbo, apparently alone, standing in the middle of the plain. Just as Sir Uncyclopedia was about to kill Jimbo, Jimbo shouted to his army to deify him. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, out of the bushes came a massive army. Jimbo rose up and smote Sir Uncyclopedia and his army, but was then smote himself when Sophia came to the field. Unfortunately, Jimbo survived.
The people of the Uncyclopedian tribe of AAAAAAAAA mourned for a month straight due to Sir Uncyclopedia's death.
[edit] Love Life
Sir Uncyclopedia was known for having a romantic love affair with a beautiful Uncyclopedian called Amy Lakes. Of course, he never successfully dated her because of her utter and complete stark-raving hatred for him, but they were able to get past this hurdle...eventually.
- Date Attempt 1: Slashed with a sword.
- Date Attempt 2: Stunned, Amy Lakes ran off.
- Date Attempt 3: Got bashed multiple times.
- Date Attempt 4: Called off to his forth trial.
[edit] Equipment
Sir Uncyclopedia had much better equipment than most knights. The list of his equipment follows:
- A self-renewable Pop Bomb
- 50 Uncyclo-Bombs
- A suit of iron armour
- A sword
- A shield
- Special Kitten Huffing equipment
- A bag of Oscar Wilde quotes
- Every piece of equipment from the List of weapons that don't exist, but should (yes, that doesn't make sense, except they are from alternate dimensions)
- The whole Un-Bestiary
- Quote Gun
- Euroipods talk page
- Featured articles and images at his beck and call
- Flamegun
- Special issue Ninjastar arsenal
- Standard issue Euroipod
- QuikDeploy Deployable Grue
- Worst 100 Worst 100 lists
- A dagger
