Sir Reginald Foxleaf

“Nice car, I'll buy it!”

~ Batman on the car with bat wings stuck to it

“Nice hat”

~ Hat critic on Foxleaf's top hat

“I had a top hat once. It was a hat that went on the top of my head, thusly complying with typical hat protocol.”

~ Oscar Wilde also on Foxleaf's top hat

Reginald was a short man. He often got lost in his hat, an recurring problem that gave rise to the popular phrase: 'get a smaller hat, you vertically-challenged prat'.

Sir Reginald Robert Thomas Florence Foxleaf (1842- 1928) was a scientist, inventor and Victorian nobleman. He was famous for wearing a top hat and inventing 'anything out of anything' (Not to be confused with Magyver).

Name issues

Sir Reginald was not actually a knight. His first name was Sir, legally changed in order to make himself appear more respectable. His original first name, Florence, came from his mother's side of the family; she had bad eyesight and thought he was a girl, and so insisted he have the name Florence. Upon remedying this humiliating error at the age of 25 by changing his name, he demoted Florence to an additional fourth middle name.

Biography

Born in 1842 to Mister Foxleaf and Florence Foxleaf, young Florence was, for many years, a baby. His mother was from a long line of Florences. His family, including 5 brothers and 237 sisters (all called Florence), were avid worshippers of the flying spahgetti monster. His early career was prime minister , but he reportedly got bored of being "surrounded by idiots" and became an inventor, filing at least 20,845 patents in his lifetime. Most of the patents were variations of pasta sauce. Foxleaf was assassinated at the age of 86. The assassin jumped out of cover and said "boo" causing him to have 5 simultaneous heart attacks. Foxleaf died of the shock of seeing an assassin have 5 heart attacks.

Inventions

After shutting himself in a big shed for God knows-how-many years, he emerged with what he thought was the first steam train. However, a conman called Richard Trevithick caught sight of Foxleaf's blueprints, created the train and copyrighted it before Foxleaf was finished himself. By law, Foxleaf didn't invent the train. But we know better, eh?

This is a list of his known inventions followed by what they were made of:

• The Batmobile: Card bat wings and a car.
• Toilet roll tube: Kitchen roll tube cut in half.
• Peephole in the front door: A door, a winchester rifle and an itchy triger finger.
• Potholes: A jackhammer and a road.
• The doodle: Pencil, paper and boredom.
• His children: Himself, his wife and the alley behind the cinema.

Foxes and leaves

Foxleaf is not related to foxes or leaves, despite the name. He is however related to penguins. His great (x 10) grandfather had a fetish for that king of thing...

Relation to Chuck Norris

Foxleaf is not related to Chuck Norris. He did however sell Batman his first Batmobile, and Chuck Norris once pwned Batman. It is an obscure relation, but it makes him happy, and if a man in a top hat is happy, we all are.

References in Popular Culture

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