Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film

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Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film, presumably behind Julia Roberts.

Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film is probably not one of the greatest actors in the British film industry. He started his professional career in the 1980s by not appearing in several lame broadway shows, including Uncyclopedia on Ice and Secrets of a Tollbooth Operator. From then on he went on to not-star in a series of other equally lame movies. Some insiders suspect that the secret to Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film's stellar acting career is the fact that he has never starred in a flop.

He was originally offered the starring role in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and became livid when he heard that he would in fact appear in the film. He stormed off before shooting began, and as a joke the producers added him in a cameo role. DVDs of the film today have him cut out and replaced with Al Gore.

[edit] Career Highlights

• Won the praise of critics for not appearing in 1991's Point Break.

• In 1999, he saved his career by not appearing in Waterworld (or any other Kevin Costner film).

• He has not appeared in any Ben Affleck movies, most importantly, Gigli.

• Most recently did not appear in Maid in Manhattan.

[edit] At The Oscars

Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film has never won an Oscar. This is a great achievement because critics cannot accuse him of not deserving one, and he can never be "robbed" at the Oscars.

[edit] Other Notable Films Not Appeared In