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SimShitty
Developer(s)	Axis Games
Publisher(s)	Shithouse
Designer(s)	Will Wright
Engine	Greed
Latest version	Last
Release date(s)	1984
Genre	Stimulation
Mode(s)	Single player Multiplayer (cooperative) Multiplayer (deathmatch)
Rating(s)	Shit
Platform(s)	Saudi Arabia
Media	Scratched Floppy
System requirements	Your Mom's Computer, Presidency
Input	Orders and Threats
Monthly fee	{{{fee}}}
Active players	{{{players}}}

'Simshitty' (SS) is a real-time strategy / stimulation computer game; the first installment in the SimShitty series of games. It was published by Shithouse (SH) and developed by series creator Axis, a wholly-owned subsidiary of SH.

Contents 1 Premises 2 Development 3 Bugs 4 Gameplay 4.1 Creative Taxing 4.2 Difficulty Settings 4.3 Awards 4.4 Actions 4.5 Rewards and Unlockables 4.6 Characters 4.7 Regions / Citys 5 = Notable prO 1337 Play'ars 5.1 Scenarios 5.2 Cheats 5.3 Disasters 5.4 See Also

[edit] Premises

You start with a fully functional thriving metropolis with happy residents and you take on the role as the governing body of said area. From then on your main goal is to make the said residents' life a living breathing hell.

The original idea behind SimShitty was for it to be a sandbox game for 1st Person Shooter Fans and those who hate sandbox games in general, because everyone knows they are a bunch of serial killers.

[edit] Development

SimShitty was originally designed by game designer Will Wright. The inspiration for SimShitty came from a feature of Al Qaeda II: The Video Game that allowed participants to destroy their enemies' cities. Wright soon found he enjoyed destroying cities more than the actual building of them, and the concept for SimShitty was born.

SimShitty began production in 1984 and was published in 1991. The game was worked on by a team of about 700 programmers, artists, conceptual managers, programmers, sluts and programmers

[edit] Bugs

As the game developers at Shithouse had calculated, it would be too expensive and take too long time to create a computer game that really worked. So they decided to release the game anyways. Soon after the release fans reported multutudes of bugs in the game to Shithouse. Since the programming of the original game was so bad and the key personnel had got fired, the people at Shithouse could not patch the game as is customary in the industry. Instead they released a total of three java snatches on the official SimShitty website. A Java Snatch works as a substitute to a traditional patch download. The user hits a fancy-designed download button, wait a few minutes and finally get a pre-programmed "server connection lost" message.

[edit] Gameplay

The game is played from a top down perspective with players often considering themselves to be in the role of god and often players attribute their action to gods work. Players then order the minions around to do their bidding.

Players can play as long as they like - the game never really ends.

[edit] Creative Taxing

This can be the most challenging and rewarding part of SimShitty if you're an accountant. Creative accounting like the name suggests is all about being creative, for example if you build a road with taxes you should think about taxing the road users. The most challenging tax in the game to manage is the GST. A tax that taxes itself.

[edit] Difficulty Settings

While playing the game you can change the difficulty settings at any time, it helps to keep the residents confused and fearful of your stupidity.

• Anchluss - Pointless
• Sudetenland - Easy
• Czechoslovakia -Lots of intercity affairs but still easy
• Battle of Britain - Tough But winnable
• The Cold War - Easy early on, then in becomes impossible to build anything. SO BUILD IN THE BEGINNING!
• Barbarossa - Suicidal
• Holocaust - WTF TAXES ACTUALLY SUCK UP MONEY!!!
• British Empire - All I see is a Black screen
• 9/11 - The game turns off, because Osama turned it off

[edit] Awards

Generally speaking, the worse you are to the people the more awards they will bestow upon you.

• UN Membership
• United Nations Security Council
• World Leader
• CEO
• Time Person of the year
• Presidency
• Mayor
• One night stand with Monica Lewinsky award
• Dinner with Osama bin Laden

[edit] Actions

As the leader of the world you can call on any of the following actions. This is generally where you get to inflict long term pain and suffering in the most malevolent of all methods. Statistics show that many gamers enjoy this part of the game most although you should never admit this in the game because you have to keep your population stupid and devoid of information. All of these actions are a pray or phone call away.

[edit] Rewards and Unlockables

Later into the game, it is possible to unlock certain items and buildings. They include the following:

• bombs
• Nuclear bomb
• Army Base
• Navy Base
• Air Force Base
• Massive Concrete Wall
• Death Camps
• Corrupt Police Stations
• Eugenics Institute
• Bioterror Project
• Giant Platinum Statue of Yourself
• Cool-Ade Factory (Cult Expansion Pack only)
• Circumcision Centers (Jewish Version only)
• Politically-Endorsed Church
• Cryogenic Prison
• Press Bureau
• Reconditioning Center
• Human Flesh-Driven Incineration Power Plant

[edit] Characters

• Hitler - Military advisor
• Jim Jones - Suicide advisor
• Osama bin Ladin - Terror advisor
• O.J. Simpson - Excuse advisor
• That Jewish Guy - Transportation advisor

[edit] Regions / Citys

When you first start you get to choose your area to play on.

• Baghdad
• New Orleans
• Paris
• Nagasaki
• Dresden
• Darwin
• Palestine
• Random African Region
• Venice
• Florence
• Rome
• Naples
• Pisa
• Milan
• Birmingham
• Liverpool
• Omaha
• Johannesburg (this one is very hard as it already is a shit hole)
• Glace Bay
• Toronto
• Swastika, Ontario
• Meat Cove
• Derby (very hard not to do as it is already a shit hole, see Alvaston)
• Club Penguin
• Oakland
• Halifax
• San Francisco
• Hong Kong
• Vice City
• Liberty City

[edit] = Notable prO 1337 Play'ars

1. God (You name it)
2. George Bush (2 Countries)
3. Hitler (Europe) PWNED
4. Stalin (Europe) PWNED
5. Harry S. Truman (Japan)
6. Kim Jong Il (North Korea)
7. Tony Blair (UK)
8. Mahmoud Abbas (Palestine)
9. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Duran, Duran)
10. Hugo Chavez (Venuzeula)
11. Yo' Momma (Plergerland)
12. AAA (A)

......

[edit] Scenarios

• Sparta, 300
• Tibet, April 2010
• San Diego, October 2007
• Quahog , September 2006
• Beirut, July 2006
• Haifa, July 2006
• Mumbai, July 2006
• Paris, March 2006
• New Orleans, August 2005
• London, July 2005
• Indonesia, December 2004
• Beijing, August 2004
• Madrid, March 2004
• Halifax, September 2003
• Baghdad, March 2003 to May 2099
• Gulf of Mexico, 1942
• New New York, 3000
• Boston, 1770
• Earth, 2014

[edit] Cheats

Even Shitter - Covers streets and other means of transportation in shit, rendering them useless and unusable.

Llama Fetish - Turns Everyone into llamas.

NRV - Huffs your entire city

[edit] Disasters

SimShitty is renowned for its very extensive collection of disasters. Disasters are hands-down the fastest way to go from utopia to shithouse with just clicks. Only trouble is, if anyone finds out you are responsible, you're fucked.

• Holocaust- Does it need explanation?
• Volcano- either lava or a pyroclastic flow buries your city. May also produce earthquakes.
• Hurricane- bash your city up a bit with a category 1 or 2 or break the levees and destroy it with a category 5. Produces flooding as a byproduct. (If playing as George Dubya Bush your citizens will declare that you don't care about black people)
• Tornado- More destructive than a hurricane but more localized. Good for clearing out clogged up roads.
• Terrorist Attack- involves planes crashing into buildings or subway and bus bombings.
• Tsunami- Have whiney citizens? Shut them up with a wall of water.
• Locusts- Not good for your farms.
• Mass Murder- Similar to a Terrorist Attack but results in more destruction and involves usually only one person possibly named Tommy Vercetti.
• Earthquake- Shake things up with a 9 pointer, produces fires and tsunamis as a by-product.
• Bombing- Done to civilian infrastructure overseas when their governments are out of line, different then terrorist attacks because these are done by the Americans and we all know Americans can't be terrorists.
• Atomic Bomb- Wipes out the whole city leaving radioactive waste in its wake. This leads to a whole load of scientists locking themselves in vaults and making gay comments to their own children about individuality. This is where Fallout's 1st level gets ALL of it's basics!
• Catastrophic Asteroid Impact- Not satisfied with an Atomic Bomb, wipe out the whole region (and possibly humanity) with an asteroid collision.
• Viking Raid- Vikings rape and pillage your citizens.
• Fire and Brimstone- God gets revenge on humanity for being such fuck-ups by razing the cities to the ground by raining down fire on to it.
• Riots- Whether protesting the local government (more then likely the case), celebrating a sports victory, or last minute Christmas shopping, riots are a destructive disaster that can destroy large parts of the city if not contained. Best to deploy the army and blow away all protesters before they start rioting.
• Floods- Give your city a bath with floods. They are also the byproduct of hurricanes and tsunamis.
• Shipwreck- Going down, sink your citizens with a shipwreck, can also destroy bridges or coastal buildings if they are nearby.
• Plane Crash- The accidental variety. A plane crashes somewhere in your city (yet kills all 983 on board?).
• Alien Attack- UFOs bomb the shit out of your city, Will Smith flies in too.
• Jehovah's Witness Visit- a group of Jehovah's Witnesses set up a Kingdom Hall in your city and proceed to go door to dooor and infiltrate the minds of your innocent citizens, prompting the citizens to run amok in the streets and riot out of annoyance.
• Hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction - (Can only be declared when playing as George Dubya Bush) Fuck up your city by having the army bomb the hell out of the buildings and local areas, much to the bewilderment of the local population.
• Chavs - Gangs of 15 year old chavs attack civilians and rape old women in an attempt to take over the city.*
• Grue attack- A mass of Grues attack your city and eat it bit by bit.
• Norris Attack - Chuck Norris flattens your city with a roundhouse kick.
• Sneak Atack* - Two persons named Sam Fisher and Solid Snake destroys airports very, very kombust'ive stuff (wtf) and power plants
• H4XX0R ATK!* - 1337 H4XX0RZ converts buildings into battle mechs and wreck havoc on your cities.
• German Raid - German ships or stukas come to destroy your city. Or even Wehrmacht battlewalkers!!!
• Lawyers - Don't ask.
• Gangster Attack - Gangsters start riots and steal shit and kill peoples Niggas!!!
• Awakening - Everybody realizes that the world in which they thought they were living is really a simulation game. They then escape and murder you in your sleep.

[edit] See Also

• SimBase