Silhouettes (song)

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Silhouettes (song).

"Silhouettes", sometimes known as "Silhouettes on the Shade", is an iconic 1950s Doo-Wop song, made famous by The Rays in 1957, and again by Herman's Hermits in 1965.

The song was written by professional songwriter Bob Crewe, depicting an embarrassing incident in his life. It details the time Bob Crewe, witnessing two silhouettes behind a windowshade, concluded that he was being cuckolded.

Luckily, Bob Crewe had a wonderful imagination, and quickly realized that he was not being cuckolded, but was merely the biggest fucking moron to ever walk the planet.

edit The Story

One fine night, around 2:30 in the morning, Bob Crewe was casually strolling by his girlfriend Jenna's house, enjoying the brisk night air. With satisfaction, Bob Crewe observed that all her shades were pulled and drawn way down tight. He smugly remarked to himself that Jenna had finally taken notice of his gentle chiding about protecting herself from Peeping Toms.

01 Silhouettes

Ah, what a beautiful night it is! Oh, is this Jenna's house? I didn't even notice! Ha, ha, what a goof I am.

Suddenly, Bob Crewe became aware of the presence of two silhouettes on the shade. "Oh, what a lovely couple they make!" he murmured to himself.

However, the wheels began to slowly churn inside Bob Crewe's head.

02 Silhouettes

Wait one gosh-darned minute. If this is Jenna's house, then that must be Jenna. And if I'm standing here, then... that guy... who the... FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU

Steaming with fury, Bob Crewe accosted the front door of his girlfriend's home. "I AM SORE!!" screamed a sore Bob Crewe. "LET ME IN OR ELSE I'LL BEAT DOWN YOUR DOOR!!"

A shuffling sound ensued from within the residence, and presently, two unfamiliar individuals emerged from the house.

"Bob, you're on the wrong block," explained the strangers, who were inexplicably familiar with Bob Crewe, his girlfriend Jenna, and her place of residence.

03 Silhouettes

Bob, we've been over this before. This is 1860 Maple Street. Jenna lives at 1960 Maple Street. Now, if you'll excuse us, it's 2:30 in the morning and we'd like to get back inside.

Elated, Bob Crewe realized that Jenna had not been cuckolding him after all. Feeling as though there were wings on his feet, he rushed down the street to the correct address, and proceeded to love Jenna like he had never loved her before.

04 Silhouettes

Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to!!

The End.
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