Sierra Mist
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Sierra Mist is a refreshing menthol infused cigarette that is alive with pleasure (and often worms, due to the fermentation method used during tobacco production). The cigarette is made from paper, lemon and lime pulp, fermented tobacco, a filter tip and Menthol. The filter tip in Sierra Mist is environmentally friendly, made from recycled automobile air filters that trap dirt and other impure external elements that can disrupt Sierra Mist's full, deep, rich, roasted citrus flavor.
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[edit] Menthol, our soothing friend
The Menthol used in Sierra Mist is an all organic product obtained from peppermint and other minty fresh oils. The menthol in Sierra Mist allows for the classical resolution of chiral carboxylic acids, via the menthyl esters, thus preventing irritation of delicate tissues of the nose, mouth, throat and lungs.
[edit] Yeah
It's kinda like that...no...no its not...
[edit] Alive with pleasure
Opera singers prefer menthol cigarettes because of their restorative and voice deepening powers.
Doctors prefer Sierra Mist two to one over coke because it doesn't hinder their ability to perform delicate, yet invasive procedures. A poll of nurses from the Cleveland Clinic main campus smoking zoo also shows that not only does smoking help reduce weight, but also clams jittery "coffee" nerves.
Enemaists, too, find that unwinding with a smooth, clean citrusy Sierra Mist is the perfect way to end a after a difficult day at work.
Track athletes find that Sierra Mist provides that extra added oomph that makes running a breeze. And school teachers, too, find that nothing beats the relaxing pleasure of a smoke after monitoring detention.
[edit] SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING
Smoking anything is harmful to your health. The effects of smoking are cumulative. There is no "really" safe cigarette. Smoking can harm baby and baby should switch to a filtered product if possible. If you smoke after sex, consider using a lubricant to cut down on friction. Do not smoke if you dance around a poll at work as you might bend your cigarette. Couch fires are the number three cause of death for smokers who also drink too much. If your cat smokes more than two packs a day, talk to your veterinarian as they may have ways that can help your cat beat its addiction. If you smoke, expect nasty looks from an increasing number of nonsmokers.
If you do not smoke, consider taking it up so you can quit smoking. If you do not smoke and plan on visiting France, it is highly suggested that you take up smoking because you can't do anything in Paris that doesn't involve smoking.
Women smoking Cigars may have unintended consequences on certain males. If you develop a smoking fetish, confess to you priest; he may wish to join you.
[edit] An "Adults Only" product
Smoking is harmful to those under the age of eighteen (18) because the protective qualities of adulthood have yet to mature, Sierra Mist is specially blended with a pure, yet top secret chemical compound that produces an immediate cystic acne outbreak to alert adults that the underage boy or girl is smoking illegally. In some cases, the outbreak also may include hair growth on the palms of the hand, indicating that the parents of the pustule filled boy or girl have other socially unacceptable social habits that require attention as well.
This diversion effect is rendered harmless in those who choose to "smoke by choice" (or masturbate excessively) over the age of 18 years of age.


