Siemens
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| Siemens | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Location | Germany |
| Population | 19,999,942 |
| Anthem | Hammer to fall |
| Bürgermeister | Helmut Coal |
| Colours | Any |
Siemens is quite a large city in western Norddeutschland. Its popularion is about twenty million Germans, workers, girls, housewives and other people. The emblem of the city is a spade in a pile of coal with a hammer hanging over the whole thing.
Contents |
[edit] History of Siemens
Contrary to popular belief, the city of Siemens was not founded by some nineteenth-century german inventors and engineers. The name of the city is first mentioned on an old hotel bill from the year 248. There it is witten as Keep away from fire. This corresponds to later archaeological findings, according to which the first Siemensians were a very cautious people.
Already in the fifth century A. D. the city sported a large number of coal mines, copper mines, corn mines, beer mines, hospitals and a large fire prevention force. As far as we know, the most common item, practically in everyone's possession, was the hammer, used every day. The hammer was a sign of strength and a unity with the people, as well as a working tool and a weapon.
The city developed, developed, developed and developed until it finally got discovered by a BBC news reporter in the middle ages.
[edit] Demography
The first settlement we know to actually be inhabited by people possessed a population of five. From that moment on, up to the present, the population expanded. The presidential election of 1648 lists eight candidates and a total of almost two hundred people with voting rights [at that time, only men over 35 and under 80, possessing a hammer and able to write, were allowed to vote]. So, the city's population would be about 800, depending on the day of the week.
[edit] Second floor, third room from the left
The room is decorated with a delicate pattern of flowers and bees done in fresco, styled to be the work of long-dead italian retards. The furniture comes from IKEA and is ready to be assembled [screwdrivers as well as other required tools are available]. The view outside the window is a beautiful suburb with some long-unused, smelly trash cans and a busy street, with the shipyard and the Sea of Tranquility in the background. One should not forget the beautiful padded door, which is comfortably prepared without doorknob or keyhole, so the occupant of the room will not have to search for his key every time he notices the door and would like to leave. There is a small cage with a lizard hanging from the wall. Light is provided by thirty-three candles located in strategic Feng-Shui-specialist approved positions all over the room. The entire room is four by five yards, with the ceiling at three yards. Paper and a pencil, as well as an armchair, are provided as standard.
[edit] Districts of Siemens
The city is divided into seven and three-quarters of districts.
- I. Befahrbar
- II. Computermannschaft-Oberhausendach
- III. Bigos-Piroggen - also known as the polish district
- IV. Italia - where most of the restaurants are located
- V. Hai-Fisch
- VI. Torvaldsenstrasse
- VII. Kaffepausendorf
- VIII 3/4: Innenstadt
The one quarter left out is the area currently being reconstructed after an unsuccessful experiment with cold fusion.
[edit] Places of interest
Places of interest in the city include the international Konrad Adenauer airport and the main train station. These are the only places usually visited by tourists. Both the airport and the train station sport cafeterias, bars, and emergency stations in order to aid those waiting to get home.
