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Siamese triplets are either triplets that are born in the region of Siam or triplets that are born joined together. Triplets that are both born in Siam and are joined together are referred to as "Super Siamese Triplets". This article deals mainly with the Siamese triplets that are joined.

[edit] Configurations

There are many possible configurations of Siamese twins. In fact, the number of possible configurations for a Siamese -tuplet is an unsolved problem in mathematics. If someone were to solve this problem they would instantly become world famous. What will be revealed here is an incomplete solution based empirically on biological evidence and not on theoretical mathematics.

[edit] Three Headed Giant

So indecisive.

Most accounts depict the "Three Headed Giant" as sharing one torso and one pair of legs. The THG form appeaers homicidal but is actually harmless due to the arguments that always develop between the brothers or sisters in the triplet.

Inevitably two of the heads gang up on the third, but since the giant cannot act unless all three heads cooperate the murderous impulses of the giant go unrealized.

[edit] Lovecraftian

The Lovecraftian form takes it's name from its nightmarish, eldritch appearance. It shares a torso, two pairs of arms and one leg. It moves around on it's belly, dragging its leg behind it. It's three mouths hoover up any matter left lying on the ground.

Unfortunately these creatures often perish after choking on beer cans, garbage bags, sidewalks, or hubcaps which they accidentally suck up along with their preferred food, Cthullu droppings.

[edit] Star

A Star triplet is joined at the head. It can run at speeds of up to 100 mph by performing a kind of rapid cartwheel using its six legs. Star triplets are very intelligent since they're brain is three times the normal size.

Sadly, not many stay as Siamese triplets as they are always separated when they stop cartwheeling. The operation to separate these triplets is very difficult as it involves tripartite brain surgery. Most surgeons prefer a chemical-induced separation: a small hole is created at the junction of the three brains, a dynamite stick inserted, and the triplets blown apart. The triplets of course do not survive but the operation is quick and easy.

[edit] The 97

97 triplets are joined in a circle, left forearm to right forearm, and also left bumcheek to right bumcheek. Therefore, all three triplets are back to back. They are so called because they resemble the 96 sexual position (which is a 69, only back to back), but with a +1. 96+1 = 97. Coincidentally, 97 triplets are only born in years ending in 97, and only 97 trios are born in each of these years. In the year 9797, it is predicted that an infinite amount of trios will be born, resulting in widespread nuclear activity, funny smells and crotch-rot.

There are many disadvantages to this rare form of siamese tripletism, the first is that the triplet cannot sit down. Also, if the triplet lies down to sleep, at least one of the trio invariably dies. Most of the triplets die of suicide, since if they get an itchy back, they find it impossible to scratch, and go slowly insane.

[edit] Famous siamese triplets

Oscar Wilde was actually a siamese triplet. He belonged to a very common configuration where the triplets all share one pair of arms, one pair of legs, one torso and one head.