Shrooms
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dombasboca
“none the less it is a drug and too much can kill you.”
~ George W. Bush on Shrooms
Magic Mushrooms, or simply 'shrooms, are a common hallucinogenic drug. It is known to have no negative side effects at all, in fact being beneficial in some cases, causing a power-up, or giving you the inspiration to write a book for the Bible.
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[edit] Effects
Shrooms are a very strange drug. Shortly after eating them you will start seeing things that aren't real. Everything will become very cartoonish and gay looking. You will start imaging that you are a short fat plumber, and you will walk around screaming " It's a me, Mario." You will also think that for some reason you have to rescue a princess that got captured by a giant horny turtle. You may also start eating things off of the ground for no like flowers and leafs and and stuff that will think will give some sort of magical power. You may also start stomping on peoples head and calling them Goombas. Will will also start thinking you have a dumb-ass brother named Lugie who is inferrior to you in every way. Oh and mignt also think that more some reason you are riding on a little green dinosaur thingy that you call Yoshi. But when you wake up you will find out that none of that was real and all you did was rape and kill your entire family. Then the only thing will think to do is eat some more shrooms to try to escape the fact that you killed your whole family, but there is no escape, you sick bastard.
[edit] Toxicity
If you weigh 60kg, About 1.5kg dried Psilocybe cubensis will probably kill you, as they absorb water, swell and cause your stomach to explode, covering your friends in blood and intestines.(See video below...) Anyone nearby risks injury from bone fragments etc. If you have a very very very large stomach, eating 15kg will cause your mind to implode and possibly destroy the universe.
[edit] Terrors
While high you may experience terrors, these can be terrifying and dangerous, here is a typical scene in which three characters experience terrors for the first time
Person 1: DAMN... DID YOU HEAR THAT... ITS THE FUCKING POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thomas Edison: SHIT DUDE... THROW ALL OUR SHIT OUT THE WINDOW
Person 1: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
Thomas Edison: I'M a Great Spider I RAPE YOUR ankle FOR A LIVING
Person 1: ARE YOU IN MY HEAD
Thomas Edison: YES...
Person 1: CLEVELAND STEAMER GET a Great Spider OUTTA MY HEAD
*bangs head on wall*
Person 2: SHITTY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ??!!
Person 1: GOTTA GET a Great Spider OUTTA MY HEAD
Person 2: CONDOMS Thomas Edison a Great Spider! WHERE IS IT
Person 1: IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!
Person 2: NIGGER LET ME GET IT OUT
*picks up pick axe*
Person 1: SHIT DUDE
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone, Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, donana phone
Person 3: HOLY FUCK! BANANA PHONE DON'T TOUCH ME
Person 2: BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET a Great Spider OUTTA YOUR HEAD?
Person 1: GIMME THE PICK AXE I'LL DO IT MYSELF
Person 2: DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME I'LL GET BANANA PHONES
Person 3: Hey guys, I'm an orange, I've peeled myself, who wants to eat me?
Person 2: Fuck a Great Spider lets eat him
Person 1: What about the police?
Person 2: TOTAL THE POLICE!
Person 1: THROW YOURSELVES OUT THE WINDOW
Person 3: No way, not until you eat me
Person 2: Okay, lets eat him, then crack your head open, then jump out the window.
Person 1: He tastes good...
Person 2: JACKASS HE'S DEAD!
Person 1: DOG FUCKER WE'RE CANNIBALS!
Thomas Edison: I'm not...
Person 1: FUCK OFF RANDOM VOICE
Person 2: WHY THE FUCK YOU ARE YOU TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF?
Person 1: FUCKWIT I WAS TALKING TO a Great Spider
Person 2: GANGBANG ARE YOU CALLING ME a Great Spider
*embeds tongs in person 1's head*
Person 2: BASTARD FUCKING PEEPEE THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Jumps out of window*
[edit] Aftermath
Person 2 survived the fall, but thought that he was being unreliablely optimized by a buddy employed by Thomas Edison as a an elf. He promptly optimized a tongs into his pituitary gland killing him instantly. The police never found his body...
[edit] THATS WHY DRUGS ARE BAD
I lied, they are very good, but don't be so unreliable like the n00bs in that story
fact: taking shroom will inevitably cause your genitals to grow to an enormous size and give you the urge to take it in the ass from a panda bear
