Short Circuit

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Johhny Five Meter Long Input Giver

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Short Circuit.

Short Circuit is a beloved family orientated pornographic film adored by parents and children alike in the 1980's. It starred a robot named Johnny 5 inches who craved sexual input ever since he was struck by lightning. This happened while hooked up to a new state of the art prototype vibrating machine the U.S army where constructing to make their enemies surrender by orgasm. Ever since that day, Johnny has had a mind of his own, and left the military base to seek out any takers willing to allow him to eject his 3.5 floppy into a 5 inch hard drive and scream out "Input! Input! Input!" while never being able to get enough input at super robitc lightning speeds!

edit Novaerotic Robotics

In 1983 Carey Mahoney and his partner Apu Bendovershowusyacherry where hired by Novaerotics to lead the new corner of United States Military's defense research in erotic toys. They where asked to construct the worlds first robotic sex aids because of a rumour that Japan where tossing around the idea of starting a war with America. What better way to keep Japanese men from getting angry, than to invent robotic sex toys with large eyes. However the experiment was scrapped in 1986 due to one of the robots being struck by lightning, while it was hooked up to a cars battery giving it a jump start, when it was suddenly attacked by a large green man calling himself Blanka, and began destroying the car with his hard kicks & punches and an unusual electric shock defense mechanism Blanka said was taught to him by electric eels. Luckily the army constrained the beast and sent him to Brazil where no one would find out the military fucked up yet another attempt at creating an Incredible Hulk.

The robot attached to the car battery was the 5th robot. Simply called Number 5 at the time. Once unhooked from the cars battery, #5 began to take on supernatural artificial intelligence... and one humongous gigabyte need for sexual input!

edit Input! Input! Input!



Five found himself in Oregon when he stumbled upon a snack van and thought the toaster looked like something that would be great to give input to, but Five soon discovered the woman who owned the van was someone in desperate need of input! A LOT of input! She invited Five into her home, mistaking Five as an alien being from outer space. She gave 5 a tour of her house before 5's command to fuck like a beast onlined, to which the last thing the woman heard after 5 checked out her panties via X-ray vision was "INPUT! MAJOR INPUT!". Number 5 threw her to the couch and began giving her all the input he could! The woman was afraid at first but then her jaw dropped as she panted, "Holy smokes, you can fuck!" finding out that Number 5 could fuck at lightning fast speeds!

The woman must have taken a pounding for a good 3 hours before she couldn't take anymore, and told 5 to stop. To which 5 replied, "No, MORE INPUT, STEPHANIE, MORE!" by the way, the woman's name was Stephanie. Stephanie tried to bargain with the machine and offer other household appliances 5 could fuck. But nothing satisfied the droids needs. Within 2 seconds he fucked to death 100 frying pans and dishes, mutilated the oven and only left a small puff of hair floating in the air as the cat demised. "MORE INPUT, Stephanie!!! MORE!!!!". Soon enough Stephanie became angry and told 5 there was nothing left to fuck. He'd fucked everything in the house!

To Stephanie's surprise Johnny used his X-ray scanners and discovered something he hadn't fucked yet. Before Stefanie even realized it, she had been thrown onto her stomach and had a 6 foot robot screaming "AHHHH, INPUT, MORE INPUT, STEPHANIE!"



Johnny Five's Rape Face.

Stephanie eventually figured out Number 5 was a robot, he killed a grasshopper by fucking it to pieces and and asking her to reassemble it. To which Stephanie had to explain that once you fuck something to death, you can't bring it back. She then had a plan to return Johnny to Novaerotics and ask if they would pay for her cunt reconstruction? Novaerotics showed up and didnt beleive the robot could have fucked her that hard, explaining that it just runs programs and not programmed to fuck females. So Stephanie said, "Ok, I'll show you" she told Mahoney to bend over and motioned for Five to enter. "INPUT! INPUT! INPUT!!!!" and that was the last anyone heard from Newton Mahoney. Novaerotics ordered the Robot be destroyed, but Stephanie would hear of no such thing, her pussy may be all tore up and shit, but all she needed was to have reconstruction surgery and she'd be up for it again with 5. So she and the robot fled from Novaerotics and lived happily ever after until the sequel.

edit MAJOR INPUT!!!!!!!

Eventually Five gave himself the name Johnny. Named after something he desired to have a real one of after reading Pinocchio. He'd also fucked Stephanie to death. Now 2 weeks after the first film, Stephanie on her death bed, sent Johnny to be with his original creator who was a taxi driver in NYC. J5 arrived in Apu Bendovershowusyacherry's garage where his Taxi was kept and told Ben he was here to help get the smell of curry and BO out of the taxi at the end of shifts. That was until Apu's roommate David St. Hubbins mentioned his band "rocked this city" and Johnny realized he was in a city full of potential input!

Johnny left skid marks on the floor and rolled out the door as fast as his treads could drive him! David eventually found Johnny doing everyone in a nearby book store. He ordered 5 to get off the 12 year old girl he was ramming input into but 5 would not listen. David told 5 if he didn't stop, the security men coming would chop off his 5 inch penis! Johnny gasped and he and David left. Johnny continued to beg David is he could go back, saying he he could fuck the whole store in 12 minutes, but David repeatedly said the 12 year olds parents will sue if they catch you. So they had to go home.


Too much input leads to you know what.

edit Number 5, eats a hive, in New York


J-Five all covered in C-3P0 cum.

Johnny 5 met a man named Oscar, who said he could help Five out. He showed J5 a blueprint plan to make a large vagina under Ben and David's building, that would lead to a rape dungeon. The fat blubbery man (Oscar) convinced Five to fuck his way under the building and across the street to a bank vault where Oscar planned to steal some expensive diamonds. Five had no idea about the trickery, he thought he was fucking a large hole in the ground so Ben would have a safe place to park his Taxi when he was off the clock. When Five finally fucked the last bit of rubble out of the way and into the underground vault, Oscar's alternate plan was revealed to J5, as he stole the diamonds and left J5 being butt fucked by the same robot from Robot Chicken that keeps humping washing machines!

Oscar and two of his goons sped off in a get-a-way car, leaving J5 for dead. It wasn't until David St.Hubbard arrived and found Five being fucked by something set to fuck at speeds all the way up to 11. St. Hubbard's simply and quickly unplugged the Robot raping J5 and took J-Five to radio shack to build him a new robotic rectum from several Tamagotci toys.

With a newly constructed asshole and a fresh set of new nuts, J-Five was ready to take down Oscar and his bum-bandits and save the day.

edit J-Five hits a Wall-e

After J-Five saved the diamonds from Oscar, he was covered in C-3P0 cum and made an official citizen of New York. He was not heard of again, but his penis did mange to get free and escape, running off to make the Wall-E story some people might be familiar with? It's believed J-Five had a few more unsuccessful movie stints, but they where not very popular due to the boring nature of "J-Five: More Input" volumes 1 to 154 where from the exact same take that took J-Five 9 weeks to fuck that entire book store he visited. It's also believed he is fucking Stephanie in volumes 34 to 49 which is just gross as the bitch had been dead for ages when they shot that.

Some say J-Five has also taken up a job fucking convicted kiddy rapists where they fart from during showers in prison. J-Five gets all the input he needs, and those pedophile fuckers get what they deserve with no chance of parole or anal reconstruction surgery.
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