Shinya Aoki

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Shinya Aoki when he desperately needed a poo in the middle of his fight.

Shinya Aoki is a crazy Japanese Mixed Martial Artist who sucks at striking but is awesome at grappling. He is most famous for his girly tights which he wears while fighting, some say its for extra flexibility to aid his grappling, others say its so that he can feel his opponent's body in a sexual way from the Missionary... I mean guard position! He is currently the Dreamy underweight champion, which he won after a hard life of struggle in which he choked Hansen's head off, got his ass kicked by Hansen as a revenge, and eventually got the last laugh by amrbarring Hansen's fucking arm off. He, along with Masakazu Imanari, Satoru Kitaoka, Suzuki Teriyaki, Toyota Honda and Toshiba flat-screen started Nippon Top Team, for Ching Chong grapplers. Aoki holds a black belt in Brazilian Jiu jitsu and Judo. Aoki is currently the number 2 grappler in the world because BJ Penn would kick his ass in the UFC, but Aoki would probably kick Penn's ass in ADCC in front of those Yallah Yallah Arabs. Joe Stevenson thinks he can beat Aoki, in his fucking dreams, hes a lil bitch and Aoki would fuck him up in minutes.

edit Pride FC

Aoki started his career in the most badass MMA organization of all time, Pride FC, this promotion was 10 times as exciting as the UFC, some say it was better because unlike UFC the fighters showed a lot of respect but thats just bullshit, it was better because of the stomps and fucking soccer kicks! Anyways, back to Rainbow pants here, he debuted against a white guy named Jason Black, whom he defeated by submission using a bum to throat choke. He was later supposed to fight an illegal immigrant living in the USA by the name of Gilbert Melendez, unfortunately, Melendez pulled out of the fight because of an anal injury sustained while training with his perverted rolling partner. Aoki's fight was now up against Gay French, who was niether gay, nor french, at the start of the fight, Aoki said "tap"... with a mean look on his face, the looks was so scary and aggressive that French bent down and tapped the floor like a good boy, giving Aoki another fight by submission. Melendez than jumped out of the crowd and proposed to Aoki, even though both of them were straight, Aoki agreed for visa reasons to help Melendez stay in the US, but it didnt work because Aoki is Japanese so they divorced. Aoki also completely owned Hansen for the first time in this promotion.

edit Dream

Sadly, Dana "The douche" White became very jealous that Pride was so badass and UFC sucked, so he bought Pride and merged it with the UFC leaving the japanese fighters homeless, Aoki then joined a stupid promotion that acted as a substitute for Pride but aint nearly as good, his first fight here was against Calavante, but it was stopped in the first round after Calvante was caught spanking Aoki, the Ref stopped the fight n it turned to a no contest, Calvante apologized, his excuse was "What did you expect me to do wearing tights like that?"

Aoki's most critisized performance was against over-rated Sengoku champ, Mizuto Hirota Civic, in the fight, Aoki's badass rainbow pants took the fucker down and tied him up like a snake, Aoki back mounted him and applied his crazy arm submission, the idiot Hirota, trying to be a hero refused to tap, Aoki got frustrated and who could blame em, he broke Hirota's fucking arm off n Hirota was crying like a little bitch, Aoki swore at him and pointed the middle finger at his face while he was crying, the dumbass UFC fans who have no interest in any MMA outside the UFC critisized him, they said the reason was that he was disrespectful but the true reason was they were racist Nazis who were against non-white fighters, they also mentioned they secretly have nude pictures of Hitler and Nick Griffin, Aoki later explained he did it because Hirota knocked out his friend, Kitaoka so he wanted to avenge his training partner.

edit Feud with Hansen

edit First Fight

Shinya Aoki got into a bitter rivalry with Norwegian Samurai, Joachim Hansen. It started when Shinya Aoki was walking past Hansen and forgot to compliment Hansen's bald head, Hansen went furious and challenged Aoki to Pride Bushido, The fight seemed strange as Aoki kept humping Hansen instead of applying a decent submission.


Hansen humping Aoki in the first fight.

edit Hansen's revenge

Hansen felt uncomfortable and at one point even tried to hump Aoki, he began to feel that it was wrong which gave Aoki the chance to gogoplata the guy. Their second fight was for the Dreamy underweight title, Aoki had fought Caol Uno, Mas Oyama, Godzilla and Chemical Ali that same night and was exhausted allowing Hansen to easily win by technical blow job.


Hansen had defeated Aoki in the second fight.

edit Return of Aoki: The Rubber Match

The third fight was a rubber match, and I'm not talking about condoms, for those of you who dont know what a rubber match is, its a second rematch between 2 opponent's who's previous matches have been tied, so this time Aoki was fresh, first he gave Hansen anal from missionary and then armbarred him. He then went home with the title and had sex with your hot mom.


Shinya Aoki humping Hansen from the missionary in their second fight.

Aoki loss first in his US of A debutt after suffering muti-bull punch to the face from so mexican guy after Aoki laid down on his back & would speard his legs in hope of butt sex his opponent continued to beat his ass (Not in the way Aoki hoped) several times during the fight Aoki got up stepped back & fell to his back again with his legs in the air

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