Sheila's Wheels

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“This advert is so God damn annoying!”

~ Captain Obvious on Sheila's Wheels

“Sheila's Wheels doo doo doo doo, Sheila's doo doo doo doo”

~ Idiot on Sheila's Wheels

“What tune is that guy singing? It's catchy!”

~ George W. Bush on the above comment

“What's this rubbish about equality for women?”

~ Mike Newell on Sheila's Wheels

The Sheila's Wheels advert was created during the battle for Middle Earth as a torture method used by the orcs on all the helpless hobbits, dwarves, elves etc.

[edit] Thus the annoying advert was created

During the heart of the battle for Middle Earth the orcs had amounted a large amount of prisoners and to tip the Battle for Middle Earth in their favour they created the Sheila's Wheels advert but of course back then it wasn't called Sheila's Wheels, it was simply called "Annoy...urr hobbits *snort*". It was a method of interrogation so the orcs could discover secret locations of the non-orc population, it was highly successful at first, the advert was incredibly irritating to those who watched and most would crack instantly what was to happen was completely unexpected...

[edit] The Problem

The orcs suddenly found that despite their advert being an effective method of interrogation it had one major flaw, extreme exposure caused instant memory loss to victims thus making them into drooling, crawling idiots. This was a problem for the orcs because if they became idiots they could no longer gain information from them so they were released to the wild to waste their remaining years.

[edit] Lyrics

Fellas, aren't you glad you're not a woman

You're not a Sheila, you're a Peter.. or a Clive

Because their lack of spacial awareness

makes them really fucking careless

You should never ever let a woman drive..

When a girl is sitting at the wheel,

you're gonna hear the crunch of steel

there's a very real danger you'll crash into a stranger

if you want to leave the car alive

Never let a woman drive

if you ever let a bird reverse

you're gonna end up in a hearse

you're a mass of fucking peril if your driver's name is Sheryl

if you want to leave the car alive

Never let a woman drive!

[edit] Symptoms of the advert

• Symptoms of the advert (ie idiocy) include:
• Clumsy movement
• Impaired vision
• Memory loss
• Inability to form full sentances
• Stammering
• Ability to win Presidential elections

[edit] Cures

• Walking Stick? its a stick! Sticks are awsome! It counters the Shelia's wheels!
• Glasses made from stick!
• Hit yourself on the head? With a stick? maybe it will work?
• Don't talk and just nod
• See above
• War on Iraq using mainly a stick?
• Jump off a tall building?
• Hit the advert/your TV with a stick!!