Sheikh Ahmad Yassin

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Sheikh Ahmed Ismail Yassin born 1929, and again in 1938 in Palestine because he could not make up his mind when to be born. A Palestinian leader also known as Old Ironsides because he was in a wheelchair for most of his life due to a childhood accient involving Kitten Huffing.

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[edit] Intro

When a great Palestine leader is born, he will be known by two birthdates, as such is Sheikh Ahmed Ismail Yassin having been born in 1929 and 1938. The Sheikh is a holy man who claims to follow Islam but secretly is a Molechite.

[edit] Childhood

Young Ahmed was a curious child. His playmates dared him to huff a kitten one day. He first said no, because he didn't want to do it. Then they double dared him. But no, he refused again. Then they triple dared him. Still he said no. Then they triple dog dared him. Ok, nobody says no to a triple dog dare and he decided to huff a kitten. He got so high (he was a lightweight and got heavily stoned on one kitten) he walked into traffic and got hit by a school bus, a marching band, Oprah, Tom Cruise, the Popemobile, the Batmobile, and Godzilla. Everyone was shocked, how could he survive such a thing? Then he stood up and said "Allah be praised, I am ok!" and then a butterfly flew into his spine and cracked it in half. Now he is crippled for life and has to be in a wheelchair.

[edit] Adult Hood

Ahmed studied Islamic Law, Jihad, Terrorism, and computer networking. The computer networking thing was a side job of his. He wasn't really serious at it. He found that he was much better at politics, because he was a follower of Moloch really so he became a Sheikh because it allowed him to bullshit, manipulate, and control people.

[edit] Death

Ahmed was in a Hamas safehouse when an Israeli helicopter gunship fired Hellfire missiles at it, killing all inside. He could have escaped, but there was no wheelchair ramp for him to get out, the elevator did not work, and the stairs, are you kidding?

[edit] See Also

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