Shanghai

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"I can haz skyscrapurs"

-kitten on Shanghai

An unusually clear sky in Shanghai.

Shanghai is highly overpopulated and overrated. Due to smog, its skyline has not been seen in 4,500 years.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Shanghai.

[edit] People

Chinese Hooters in Shanghai.

Overpopulated. The city is primarily composed of native Chinese or American men looking for cheap sex. The city has seven times more baby boys than baby girls. All the baby girls were either killed by parents, killed by abortion clinic, or exported to America. Not that baby girls are the only things exported to America. Far from it. They export Thomas the Tank Engine toys, Elmo toys, bokos, cars, trucks, technology, the cheap furniture you bought at Wal-Mart, and tpoy, and STDS.

But more importantly: You will often see rich old fat white guys leading around younger Chinese women (see sex slaves). This is a common practice. A thousand times more common is to see older Chinese men do the same, but this is neither here nor there - foreigner is evil.

Overseas Chinese come back to China and look out of place and cause fights with whities as often as possible, yet look down on local Chinese. There is no higher power than the foreign-born Chinese, according to the behaviour of foreign-born Chinese in Shanghai.

[edit] Economy

innovative Chinese advertising technology in use because theres no more land in Shangai.

The main economy in Shanghai is not rice (as it would seem) but rather parts per pollution (PPP) which is sold in small canisters (about the size of a cell phone). The PPP canisters can be found underground near railroads, or more importantly near Fudan Daxue (Fudan University). Once a person obtains a PPP canister they need only to open the lid to collect pollution, thereby ensuring their economic success.

[edit] Cuisine

if you cant tell its a vacuum sealed Pigface.

This primarily consists of rats on sticks (sold at nightmarkets)....or even better, Panda with Plumblossoms. It is lightly browned or served in a Chinese style hot pot. After this it is put over some old brown rice that was fertilized with night soil, and you end up sick the next morning or 107 seconds later.

[edit] Government

Primarily run by Chinese midgets who speak in Shanghainese. Foreigners need not apply, you won't be able to understand them, even with ten years of Mandarin training. This is what keeps the government of Shanghai going....

[edit] Transportation

cross walks, lane lines, and lights are decoratonal as is the fake car/moped.

Pedestrians run severe risk of getting run over by anything that moves. Angered Chinese people on bicycles, angry Chinese people in cars, angry Chinese people on bicycles on sidewalks, angry Chinese people in cars trying to run down angry Chinese people on bicycles trying to run down oblivious people on sidewalks, and angry white people who are lost.

The trains will leave you with a semi disfigured ass because of "hard seats."

Lines mean nothing, traffic lights should be ignored at all costs.

[edit] The Real Facts

Shanghai is a city where people go to find cheap Chinese hookers. Common misconception has it that this iss especially old white European men and Americans, wheras 99% of the city's massage parlous are actually frequented by Chinese men and hamsters and Chinese men dressed as hamsters. Usually they run about $3.00 (the hookers, not hamsters), and can be found in the nightmarket (right next to rats on sticks).

Shanghai smells of poo, due to the controversial 'One Man, One Poo' Chinese Communist ideology that insists that each citizen must carry around both an ID card and a stool sample at all times, incase of emergencies.

[edit] See also

Communism, Chinese hooker.