Sexual intercourse
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“By far the most prudent method of advancing this country!”
~ Robert Mueller on Intercourse
“That was the worst performance I've ever seen.”
~ Simon Cowell to a Nevadan hooker about sexual intercourse
Such an act happens when there is sex involving two organisms. However readers are more concerned if they involve humans in higher numbers and with a difference in their sexes. It is a more accurate term than sex to describe sex. It originated from some professorial paper that was coining some fancy words that will get sex accepted into the school curriculum (yess!!!). Fucking was rejected but it still got into the school curriculum.
From Dictionary of Catchphrases (1995) by Nigel Rees:
Close your eyes and think of England
Is a traditional advice given to women when confronted with the inevitability of sexual intercourse, or jocular encouragement to either sex about doing anything unpalatable [1].
[edit] Sexual Intercourse in Religion
God has been mainly instructive in explaining how it is to happen. He has scraped plans for asexual beings or made them insects in order that sexual intercourse is properly celebrated. The Bible has a step by step manual and even a copyright notice stating that no more material can be quoted from there without allowing the writer here to demonstrate an actual act with a female of his choosing.
Kama Sutra is an Indian version of the Bible and has misprinted its copyright notice that now states,
"No text, graphics, depiction created here can be duplicated by any party be it in digital, electronic, braille, memory or sculpture without the prior written consent of the Creator. Otherwise you may be condemned to be stuck in a said position and not be allowed further room for interaction. Every subsequent version must not use previous technique shown without direct consent"
Since God was not contactable in most cases, the Kama Sutra ended up with a different position for each night it was put to practice.
The Quran allows sexual intercourse with slave-girls so that they may also take delight in an otherwise hardworking 9 to 9 life without proper pay and chance of freedom. The US Employment Act 1981 now refers to this law to create the unions.
[edit] All In The Family
Sex within the family or incest is now returning to fashion. The parents have reduced sexual contact between themselves and mostly keep to once a year. This is to make room for the daughter and son or cousin ecetera to take up the available slots with the parents and this has greatly removed marital problems. In some cases, it removes completely the marriage. In cases of divorce where there is absence of a parent, the siblings may create moresomes among themselves.
In some scandinavian countries, family homes have special bunkers or basements that are subsidised by the government if you are to fill in a simple application form with:
Purpose of renovating basement - Confining daughter inside without hope of escape. Duration - Until daughter delivers babies and they grow up to be law-abiding citizens.
Each born child may receive a reward if they are able to pass an IQ test and win the treasure hunt to find a way out of the basement. First prize includes $10,000 per speaking fee and a world tour.
A dramatised film was produced in 3030 based on confined women entitled 'Fritzl the Cat'.
[edit] With Animals
This trend is dying out due to the recent SPCA preference that crocodiles and stingrays be protected from bestiality in domestic settings. Now many individuals are getting sick due to bites and scratches when having intercourse with the remaining house pets such as dogs and cats. There are reported shortages of AIDS treatment for four legged animals. However insurance companies are considering giving coverage to animals if the owners are to register them as sex-workers and send them for regular cat-scans.
