Sexism

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'''Sexism''' is the widespread common fact that [[Chauvinist Wednesday|women are inferior]] to men in a lot of stuff.
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'''Sexism''' is the widespread and common belief that the main, or possibly sole, use of the [[women||opposite sex] is, well, [[sex]]. While controversial amongst the [[women|opposite sex]], the theory is strongly supported by the fact that [[Chauvinist Wednesday|women are inferior]] to [[men]] in a lot of stuff, except, most notably, causing an [[erection]] of the [[heterosexual]][[male]].
   
 
== In the Beginning... ==
 
== In the Beginning... ==
Sexism first started when Adam was walking through the Garden of Eden and in him grew a great hungering for bacon. So he called out to Eve:
 
   
"Eve!"
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God created the Man, [[Adam]], and the Woman, [[Eve]], in His image, and they were equal before Him, and He saw that this was good. As well as this, all television channels were unprejudiced, and used no stereotypes.
   
And after a moment, the response came rolling back from over the hill.
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Sexism first started when [[Adam]] was walking through the [[Garden of Eden]] and in him grew a great hunger. So he called out for Eve and stated his need for something to eat in his "Urgent voice" expecting the proper and subservient reply but instead he received something different, something that we now call "Sass". Eve responded by making some lame excuse that she was "Busy" and suggested that maybe Adam (a man) could maybe "Get it for himself."
   
"What?"
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However, chances were that in that very moment, Eve came across a snake which showed her the tree bearing apples, of which she gave to Adam to shut him up. This angered God who had just only been able to succeed in having the tree bear Pink Lady apples which is notably difficult in the dessert and He was thus quite protective of the apples. So God threw humanity out of the Garden of Eden and damned women to the pain of child birth.
   
Adam stated his need for bacon in his "Urgent voice" expecting the proper and subservient reply but instead he received something different, something that we now call "Sass". Eve had responded by making some lame excuse that she was "Busy" and that she just couldn't do it. Then she apologized and suggested that maybe Adam (a man) could maybe "Get it for himself." At which point Adam cock-smacked her. Eve in an effort to get out of her bacon making duties asked a random snake she found to make it for her. This act angered God who created women for the three purposes of cooking, cleaning, and sex (also known as the Holy Trinity). So God threw humanity out of the Garden of Eden and damned women to the pain of child birth, since it was that dumb bitch's fault in the first place. This created the idea that one sex is slightly less crap than the other, generally taken up by happy smiley optimistic types that called themselves 'sexists' -unlike the more realistic 'humanists' that accepted that all humans are crap, and are only good at at shitting, eating, sleeping and fucking.
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Adam found that indeed he could - and should have - solved the problem himself. Adam asked Eve: "What use do thou serve, woman?" To shut him up, Eve showed him a jolly good time. Thus, the idea of sexism came into existence. Coincidently, this is also the history of the origins of make-up sex.
   
=== Pre-Sexism (Creation→) ===
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==Early sexism ==
   
Before the invention of Sexism, males and females were equal, since they both had [[Penis|Phalluses]], and reproduced either via the biological method of intercourse known as [[69|Sicksteenyne]], or by [[Masturbation|Asexual methods]]. As well as this, all television channels were unprejudiced, and used no stereotypes.
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By the beginning of historic times, alternative - or rather additional - uses had been found for the [[opposite sex|women]] most notably cleaning, cooking and child-care (the socalled holy trinity). These tasks are still performed by women. However, this does not pose a problem for the idea of sexism: 1) Cleaning, women mostly do for their own sake given the fact that a man - when single - is quite happy to live like a pig 2) cooking, rather than being an example of [[women]] excelling, has been shown to be an example of [[division of labour]] based on [[comparative advantage]] which is proven by the fact that all elte chefs are men, and 3) child-care is essentially a by-product of the main use, and has also been argued to be an example of 1), i.e. a job which only women have an interest in seeing taken care of.
   
=== The Birth of Sexism ===
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==Industrial revolution==
   
Sexism was created in 1BC (or -1AD as [[Scientology|Scientologists]] prefer to call it) by the [[Virgin Mary|Mother Mary]], upon hearing the news that she would only give birth to the [[Original Jesus|Lord]], and not the Lordess. She was quoted as saying "God, you are a chauvinistic pig, and shall go to hell".
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During the [[Industrial Revolution]], the ingeniuity of [[men]] made more tasks much less physically demanding and thus open to women, however, these jobs were always performed slower and thus to compete with more efficient men, women were offered significantly lower wages. These jobs are no longer performed by anyone.
God promptly crushed her under 1,000,000 [[Paganism|Pagans]] (causing the birth of the [[Original Jesus|Lord]]), due to breaking the 19th commandment; "Thoust shan't condemn me to the fiery depths of [[McDonalds|Hell]]". This is known as [[Original Sin]] .
 
   
=== The Desolate Years (Approximately 0 → 1941) ===
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The ingenuity of men also made significant advances in medicine, raising the average life expectancy and thus made secondary positions in nursing the sick and the elderly open to women. Also, the advent of public bureaucracy made administrative positions which require neither physical nor mental capabilities available to women.
   
Sexism was very quickly buried by the Islamic winds, for over 1,000,000,000 years, during which the First world wars, version 0.1a, 0.1b, 0.2b, 0.5b, <math>\frac{1}{3}</math>b and final release 1.1 happened. Sexism was rediscovered by [[Harrison Ford]] (References on the discovery can be found in his Sociological documentary, '[[Raiders of the Lost Ark]]') during the Second World War. This new-found weapon of mass-destruction was shortly captured by Hitler's infamous [[Alcoholics Anonymous|AA]] men, and were returned to Eastern Germany for testing.
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This led to the the situation which is still the case today, where any woman is either a nurse (sometimes called "physiotherapist" or "doctor") or a secretary (sometimes called "key account manager" or "CFO").
   
  +
==Decline of Sexism==
   
=== The 40's Period ===
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[[Women's rights| See women's rights]]
   
Sexism was then used by Hitler to cause the English and Americans to beat their wives. Luckily, the effects were delayed by 50 years, giving an opportunity for the Americans to strike the critical blow using their secret weapon, [[Chuck Norris]], and winning the war. Unfortunately Sexism took its toll on all Allied forces involved in the war, and resulted in the final downfall of the now-wartime-hero (See Fig. 1).[[Image:Chuck_norris_punch.gif|frame|Fig. 1 -- Chuck Norris teaches one impetuous woman an important lesson about driving: Don't.]] The American government, and the communist-run [[Sealand]] brought about the combined CN1337 act in 1947, which resulted in the alien abduction of more than 50,100 Sexists, throughout the west.
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==Sexism today==
   
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The womens' rights movement defeated their opposition in the 90s and made men their slaves. All public displays of Sexism got banished to a parallel dimension where only one gender exists. However, secretly the idea of sexism lives on, in particular in password-protected internet chatrooms and non-sensical, open source, free-to-edit encyclopedias.
=== The Post-40's Period ===
 
 
Shortly after the extermination of all involved in the less-widely-known '[[Vagina|Feminist]]' epidemic of the 60's, radical groups came together to try to stomp out Sexism. Chuck Norris, by this time a recovered sexist, promptly signed up. Other members included [[Bono]] of U2, [[Mothra]], [[Krusty the Clown]] and [[Jerry Jackson]]. The group shortly gained the name of the '[[Bisexual|Penigina team]]', and spread their message across 29 continents. They only ran across small factions of resistance in Ganymede and Deimos, taking the form of a collection of members from the [[Men|'MenRBetaThanU' Men's rights group]]. They managed to spread their equal-sex message across the universe, until they eventually reached the edge, where they fell off and died. The teachings of this group were luckily recorded, and published under the name 'The New Testament 0'. It was the prequel to the obscure Autobiography, 'The New Testament' which was written by [[Ultra Jesus]] under several [[Ghost Writer]] aliases.
 
 
The womens' rights movement defeated their opposition in the 90s and tried to make men their slaves, but this was unsuccessful.
 
 
=== The -&infin;BC &rarr; &infin;AD Period ===
 
 
All Sexism got banished to a parallel dimension where only one gender exists, causing a negative feedback anomaly, and resulting in the [[bisexuality|79th Dimension catastrophe]]. God brought Mother Mary back to life, and apologised for being so prejudiced, and removed her [[Virginity]], causing another anomaly and resulting in the destruction of the universe, again.
 
   
 
== See also ==
 
== See also ==
* [[Organism]]
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* [[Feminism]]
* [[Orgasm]]
 
 
* [[Sex|Why are there 3.1415 genders anyway?]]
 
* [[Sex|Why are there 3.1415 genders anyway?]]
 
* [[Women]]
 
* [[Women]]
 
* [[Men]]
 
* [[Men]]
* [[Transexuals|He-shes]]
 
 
* [[Chauvinist Wednesday]]
 
* [[Chauvinist Wednesday]]
 
* [[Battle of the Sexes]]
 
* [[Battle of the Sexes]]

Revision as of 19:02, July 18, 2013

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Sexism is the widespread and common belief that the main, or possibly sole, use of the [[women||opposite sex] is, well, sex. While controversial amongst the opposite sex, the theory is strongly supported by the fact that women are inferior to men in a lot of stuff, except, most notably, causing an erection of the heterosexualmale.

In the Beginning...

God created the Man, Adam, and the Woman, Eve, in His image, and they were equal before Him, and He saw that this was good. As well as this, all television channels were unprejudiced, and used no stereotypes.

Sexism first started when Adam was walking through the Garden of Eden and in him grew a great hunger. So he called out for Eve and stated his need for something to eat in his "Urgent voice" expecting the proper and subservient reply but instead he received something different, something that we now call "Sass". Eve responded by making some lame excuse that she was "Busy" and suggested that maybe Adam (a man) could maybe "Get it for himself."

However, chances were that in that very moment, Eve came across a snake which showed her the tree bearing apples, of which she gave to Adam to shut him up. This angered God who had just only been able to succeed in having the tree bear Pink Lady apples which is notably difficult in the dessert and He was thus quite protective of the apples. So God threw humanity out of the Garden of Eden and damned women to the pain of child birth.

Adam found that indeed he could - and should have - solved the problem himself. Adam asked Eve: "What use do thou serve, woman?" To shut him up, Eve showed him a jolly good time. Thus, the idea of sexism came into existence. Coincidently, this is also the history of the origins of make-up sex.

Early sexism

By the beginning of historic times, alternative - or rather additional - uses had been found for the women most notably cleaning, cooking and child-care (the socalled holy trinity). These tasks are still performed by women. However, this does not pose a problem for the idea of sexism: 1) Cleaning, women mostly do for their own sake given the fact that a man - when single - is quite happy to live like a pig 2) cooking, rather than being an example of women excelling, has been shown to be an example of division of labour based on comparative advantage which is proven by the fact that all elte chefs are men, and 3) child-care is essentially a by-product of the main use, and has also been argued to be an example of 1), i.e. a job which only women have an interest in seeing taken care of.

Industrial revolution

During the Industrial Revolution, the ingeniuity of men made more tasks much less physically demanding and thus open to women, however, these jobs were always performed slower and thus to compete with more efficient men, women were offered significantly lower wages. These jobs are no longer performed by anyone.

The ingenuity of men also made significant advances in medicine, raising the average life expectancy and thus made secondary positions in nursing the sick and the elderly open to women. Also, the advent of public bureaucracy made administrative positions which require neither physical nor mental capabilities available to women.

This led to the the situation which is still the case today, where any woman is either a nurse (sometimes called "physiotherapist" or "doctor") or a secretary (sometimes called "key account manager" or "CFO").

Decline of Sexism

See women's rights

Sexism today

The womens' rights movement defeated their opposition in the 90s and made men their slaves. All public displays of Sexism got banished to a parallel dimension where only one gender exists. However, secretly the idea of sexism lives on, in particular in password-protected internet chatrooms and non-sensical, open source, free-to-edit encyclopedias.

See also

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