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September 22: Autumnal Unquinox, Annual 'Shout At the Elderly Day'
- 66 - Emperor Nero creates the Legion Italica, who wrote in all italics.
- 1465 - Aztec tourists discover autumn in the resort town of Equinox, Vermont, a town named for an Aroostook chief who tended to fall off his horse. The first day of autumn was named after the town.
- 1742 - Instead of the sun rising this day a giant inflatable Wario head rose in the East followed by an encore of 'bowsers castle' music for the entire morning. This could be heard and seen all over the globe.
- 1785 - Britain fails to recognise this day any longer, after realising that "the weather's always crap, every bloody day!"
- 1816 - Autumn was cancelled after the Year Without A Summer.
- 1827 Some guy invents Mormonism
- 1867 - New England businessmen and scientists announce they genetically modified trees to change colors in autumn, as part of a plan to lure Southern tourists back North after the Civil War. The plan fails when the first Southern tourists complain about the integration of colored trees with non-colored trees.
- 1868 - Unquinox missing in France. Rioting strangely absent.
- 1898 - Toast was invented by Cthulu
- 1939 - America yet to join World War II, Roosevelt requires more persuasion.
- 1960 - Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham is first published, provoking the law that Best Before Date stickers are to be put on all eggs and ham. This law was later extended to include all perishable food items and Michael Jackson's career.
- 1998 - Porky Pig dies of heart attack at the Scrappy Doo Medical Center and Cancer Department.
- 2001 - The Federal Communications Commission places largely ignored ban on the use of Fall as a synonym for Autumn, citing complaints by family members of September 11 victims.
- 2003 - Plans to change Winter to "Gets-back-up-again" were shelved, because it was "stupid".
- 2004 - The countdown timer in LOST secretly goes below zero and counts down to minus 108, before displaying a picture of the Rosetta Stone and then a large Wikipedia logo. On a completely unrelated note, a plane crashed on the island and the first series of LOST began.
- 2009 - The reknowned special forces operative, marine and space cosmonaut, Master Chief, was found dead with his life partner Arby laying over him weeping. When consoled he gave an account of their first sexual encounter since their relationship began. Arby stated that his species has to wipe out the lint in their bladder everyday or it is projected out at near FTL speeds from one of their sexual organs, usually the phalus. Arby forgot.