Sephiroth
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Sephiroth, also known as The One Winged Angel, (born November 17, 1962) is the biggest badass ever, and even if you don't agree with that view, you've still gotta give the guy a thumbs up for being the only human ever to ascertain Godhood, meaning the lucky son of a bitch is gonna life WAY longer than the rest of us. Even though Kefka out does him even in THAT department. Sephiroth actually never achieved God Hood when you think about it. That title belongs to the Great Kefka!
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edit Early life
Sephiroth was born in a laboratory controlled by Shinra Inc. (To this day no one is exactly sure where it is) He was the one of 2 offspring of the Jenova Project, however, his brother is not important. Sephiroth was born to be the Ultimate Soldier...with no other real purpose in life apart from a Military career...to put it even more bluntly and coldly.....he was intended to be little more than a living weapon. He was enrolled into SOLDIER, Shinra Inc.'s private army, at the age 15, not having any real chance for a normal childhood, it was believed that he would be indoctrinated into the Ultimate Soldier. Sephiroth proved to be outstanding during his training, proving to be a natural at CQC, he also excelled in his firearm and swordsman combat training. In 1976, he was given a break from the usual SOLDIER training program and was given the honor of honing his skills even further under the tutorage of the legendary Pai Mei. Shortly before leaving to train with Pai, Sephiroth was given the infamous "Masamune" sword as a gift from one of his superiors.
edit Training with Pai Mei (1976-78)
In spite of the skills Sephiroth had already acquired, he was ridiculed by Pai Mei during the early days of his training, one day Pai Mei asked him to show him exactly what he could do with the Masamune..he ordered Sephiroth to attack him with everything he had, Sephiroth obliged...and was humiliated as Pai jumped onto the blade and balanced out it perfectly. Sephiroth was amazed by this feet, one that Pai stated he repeated to all of his students in order to show the difference in their skill. Following this statement, Pai wiped the floor with Sephiroth, showing him how truly superior his skill was.
By mid 1977, Sephiroth had earned a small amount of respect from Pai, as such his training intensified, pushing Sephiroth to near breaking point. Sephiroth continued to be pushed to his breaking point and beyond for what seemed like an eternity, until finally, in early 1978, Pai announced that his training was over.
Sephiroth was made a SOLDIER General and placed in command of the 608th infantry unit, he and his men were deployed to Wutai (A country Shinra had been at war with since 1964) 3 weeks after his promotion.
edit Time in Wutai (1978-86)
Upon initial deployment, the 608th are very eager to fight, but after 4 months in Wutai, they begin to see what a horrible quagmire the war has become. Sephiroth notes his changing attitude toward the war in his memoirs.
| | I can remember the first time I killed an enemy, I broke down into tears after the bullet went into his head, I cursed myself and the entire war......I just wanted all of the senseless, meaningless killing to end. Over time I shot or sliced up more enemies and each time I did I found myself caring about it less and less, it was not until the death of Cordell that I realised.......I had run out of tears to shed........I no longer cared about the Wutain's I was killing, not even if I accidentally killed civilians, women or children. The war had stolen all feelings, fear sorrow, compassion....all I really had left was rage and hatred. | |
Sephiroth's time serving in Wutai obviously had a great effect on him, but 2 notable things about the war that affected him are the loss of close friend and fellow 608th soldier, Cordell Leonhart (mentioned above) and that at some point during the war, he heard The Doors's hit song, "People Are Strange." Upon hearing this song, it would seem Sephiroth felt a deep personal connection to it.
- People are strange when you're a stranger
- Faces look ugly when you're alone
- Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
- Streets are uneven when you're down
- When you're strange
- Faces come out of the rain
- When you're strange
- No one remembers your name
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
- People are strange when you're a stranger
- Faces look ugly when you're alone
- Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
- Streets are uneven when you're down
- When you're strange
- Faces come out of the rain
- When you're strange
- No one remembers your name
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
- Alright yeah
- When you're strange
- Faces come out of the rain
- When you're strange
- No one remembers your name
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
- When you're strange
By the end of the Wutai War in 1986, Sephiroth was World famous due to his actions during the conflict.
edit Post Wutai War/Rise to Godhood
- For information on Sephiroth's life after the Wutai War and his rise to Godhood, see Final Fantasy VII.
edit Sephiroth Today
Having ascertained Godhood, Sephiroth now spends much of time making life miserable for Cloud Strife. He has also been seen lifting bar-bells weighted at infinity.
edit Children
Sephiroth has a daughters named Maria and Maxine in each diferent girs he was with Maxine's Mother was Amber the farm girl who was falling in love with Sephiroth. As Sephiroth has never known that he has another daughter Maxine that because he never read the mail Amber to annoced him she was pregnant so he never know that he was father. The mother of Maria was a man named "Zack Fair" who later died by the hands of his jealous lover "Cloud Strife" in a common mistaken burial situtation.
- Maria (Half sister)
- Maxine (Half sister)
edit Political career
In late 2004, Sephiroth announced his plans to enter the world of Politics, he was elected as the Mayor of Vice City earlier this year.

