Senior citizens
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Senior Citizens, also called seniors, Old Fogies and Grandma's Parents, now make up the largest population group found in certain areas of the world.
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[edit] Habitat
Wealthy and healthy seniors tend to congregate in small apartment communities such as Sun City in Las Vegas, Nevada. Each condo is laid out on one floor, equipped with a small kitchen sporting an avocado green refrigerator which "still works, Sonny, and don't you forget it!", a doorbell which is incredibly loud, and which supposedly does not work, and a Clapper. This kind of a dwelling generally overlooks a swimming pool which is empty from 10 AM to 4 PM due to the extreme heat of the sun and the chance of contracting some unnamed and undiscovered but highly feared water borne disease.
[edit] Condition
Many Senior Citizens looks like a million dollars---all green and wrinkled. They tend to be cranky.
[edit] Outlook
It is generally agreed that Senior Citizens have in their future only the prospect of getting older, though for some this is not true. (See Death).
[edit] Activities
Seniors spend 68 percent of each weekday on average making, canceling, or attending doctors appointments. The remainder of the time is spent traveling to or waiting in doctors offices reading the latest issue of AARP Magazine. Upon rare occasions, a senior will attend an event at school with a grandchild at which time the senior will ask the teacher what that TV is doing on the table, and why it has a half a typewriter attached to it with a wire. Stories of long walks to school in the snow without shoes will ensue, and then snacks will be served at which point the senior will point out that the doctor said not to eat this.
They also drop loads in their pants!
[edit] Discounts and Coupons
Seniors are very often entitled to half fare in local museums which no one wants to go into, and can get in free for Ice Skating on Wednesday nights. (These free skating nights for seniors are sponsored by the local osteopathic association). The seniors tend to carry with them a stack of coupons for area restaurants, and will often insist on arriving at a dinner restaurant by 4 PM so they can use a ticket for the early bird meal. At the restaurant they order the most expensive thing on the menu that takes a little time to make, and they bitch when the food gets there and they say, "I order chicken not steak you fucking asshole." "Now wipe my ass, i just made poop."
