From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Self Promotion is one of the trickiest athletic events unique to and staged at the annual Cotswold Olimpick Games. It involves the act of promoting oneself in a number of different and creative ways more than the other competing athletes. This has included geographical promotion: either altitudinal or longtitudinal, chronological promotion, spatial promotion or extragalactic promotion. All of these methods being rigorously checked by the wonderful judges that the games has to offer.
Self promotion has been a key event at the Olimpick Games for the entire duration of the Games' history, which has been continually running for at least 400 years and still caters for the best athletes in the West Country and Borderlands today. It is traditional for bets to be placed on self promotion and betting is run by a local betting company, GameBets, who sponsor the Games. Like with many English rituals, before the start of the event, the establishment of the event is acted out in memory of the founders who, as the acting depicts, self promoted themselves so eagerly, as they clambered on top of each other, competing in the first ever Altitude match.
Self promotion is universal, everybody does it, but it is a bit sad. When self promoting it helps to be very subtle in order to avoid looking like you have ADD. Alternatively you can be incredibly blatant, as long people don't realise you are a desperate loser, because it looks like you are self aware.
Self Promotion has been used for centuries, but never by sensible people like me who are way too modest to ever shamelessly promote their their own brilliant, hilarious, and original material. There have been many people throughout history who have used self-promotion to promote their causes, but these people are selfish and will never match up to other noble individuals who would never so much as THINK of trying to promote themselves to excess.
Self-promotion does have its advantages, but noble, honorable people such as myself would never think of using it no matter how advantageous it was. Advantages include an increase in general popularity, but people like me don't NEED to have our popularity increased because we are hilarious already.
edit Technology & Self Promotion
The advent of the interweb has made available to the general public levels of self promotion once only available to celebrities of class C (on the Alright Magazine Scale) and above. Mechansims for self promotion now include myspace, blogging, U-tube and host of other opportunities for the general public to extol their greatness under the guise of adding content or otherwise misinforming all them other suckas out there.
Sheri is a prime example of some who is egocentric (enjoys self promotion). Although she earns a lot of money brewing beer she still insists of sponging car rides and food off innocent passerbys!Other examples of her egocentrism are (a) her claims that Southlanders are the best people in the worrrrrrrrrrrrrld (b) the fact that she only makes cookies to earn 'brownie' points!
- ↑ The Cotswold Olimpick Games Referee association has been placed in the top five for referee quality in the Times' Referee Associations League Table.