Sealand
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| |||||
| Motto: From the Sea, a monster | |||||
| Anthem: You're going home in a fucking ambulance | |||||
| Capital | Nova Luton | ||||
| Largest city | Nova Luton | ||||
| Official languages | Russian Gaelic, Esperanton, Gibberish (not recognised) | ||||
| Government | Monarchy | ||||
| King | Jay Leno | ||||
| Prime Minister | John O'Cahan | ||||
| Governor General | Bono | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Mick Harford, Mehul Perohit, Fidel Castro, Vincent Jones, Mark Bosnich, Mike Tyson, Rambo | ||||
| Declaration | |||||
| Currency | internet | ||||
| Religion | Pastafarianism(20,23%), Christianity (0, 0.5%), Spiritism (9, 28.125%), Judaism (2, 6.25%), agnosticism (1, 3.125%) | ||||
| Major exports | Custom cars (5 cars/$70000USD per year), oil (310 barrels/$18500USD per year), fish (28 tonnes/$8000 USD per year), salt (8 tonnes/$300 USD per year), pornography (930000 hits/$3300 USD per year) | ||||
Sealand is a Gargantuine Island, with the mightiest empire in the world that is located on an oil platform in the northern Atlantic Ocean. Sealand is the oldest and mightiest kingdom on earth founded by the great Swedish king Karl XVI Gustav in 800 B.C.E., just a few years before he went to Greece and started a kingdom there known as ancient Greece. It is currently ruled by Jay Leno, who uses it as a place to store his car collection, while gathering taxes from the 32 known citizens of the country.
Sealand currently employs a capitalist economy based on tourism and the export of oil, fish, custom cars and pornography. It has retained a tolerant stance towards the area's aboriginal population, numbering 9 mermaids as of October 2005, and has recently given them a government-supported fish farm to live in where they can be safe from sharks, whales and israeli submarines.
The Sealand national football team is the national football team of Sealand, represented by the Danish team Vestbjerg Vintage Idrætsforening. The team consists of approximately 9 male humans, 3 mermaids, 2 raccoons, a monkey that came floating on a plank, and Jay Leno. They currently have no coach, but formerly British national coach Sven-Göran Eriksson has been linked to The Sealand national football team in various international newspapers. It is rumored, that he will receive 40% of Sealand's annual pornography export instead of regular wages. The country is currently for sale for £0 plus super tax (or nearest offer).
Sealand was also host to the Live Bril concert. Which was attended by 2.2 million people in boats which filled the entire North sea, and viewed by the entire world's population of 6.6 Billion people. Those without televisions were given them just to view live bril.
Sealand is the biggest contributor to global warming and stealing of fossil fuels on the planet.
New Sealand was started up on some island next to Australia in the 1950's, cos no one cares about that part of the world and any plan for world dominance can be hatched there (sorry Microsoft, someone got there first). But it only got known about about when the new americans came and made a film there Lord of the rings. And cos the americants are always changing S's to Z's in the English Language, it changed it's name to New Zealand. They fought for their independence from Sealand. The bloody battle lasted 5 seconds. Nowadays, New Zealand is controlled by Australia.
[edit] Statistics
- Population: 13 male humans, 10 female humans, 9 mermaids, 1 monkey, 2 raccoons, and Jay Leno
- Land area: 0 square kilometers/0 square meters
- Oil platform area: 0.007 square kilometers/7000 square meters
- Total export value: $104000000USD per year
Barmy British Stuff 
