Scroll lock

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Scroll lock.

The scroll lock is a letter of the alphabet and is one of the most useful buttons on the keyboard.

Things to do with it:

  • Call ManBearPig (Via Vonage)
  • Press it. (It's fun!)
  • Use X-Fire in games
  • Turn on the scroll lock light. (It lights up the keyboard so nicely)
  • You can give it to the dog. It contains healthy minerals, and fits perfect as dog food.
  • Stimulate a scroll-wheel. This is useful for an old one- or two-button mouse.
  • Crash Windows 2000 or later (seriously)
  • Turn orange gravity manipulating guns blue.
  • Note: Luizprower finally knows what scroll lock does.

If you remove your Scroll Lock key and get 5 of your friends to do the same, you will soon find your mailbox filled with thousands of scroll lock keys. Then each of your friends convinces 5 of their friends to do the same, and before too long, often in less than a month, you all will have so many Scroll Lock keys that you will never need to replace your Scroll Lock key ever again! This absolutely works, and is 100% legal, I assure you! I would take a picture of the huge stack of Scroll Lock keys in my living room right now, but my camera is buried underneath them, and I think it might be dangerous to move that much mass all at once all by myself.



Note to advanced users: The above description is for Windows users. If you wish to go beyond this point in the use, care and feeding of the Scroll Lock key, you must install a pirated copy of Linux or run multiple OS's on a KVM setup. The super-secret scrolls locked within this evil machine are accessible only from the Linux command shell as, if a Windows user were to ever catch a glimpse of them, we would have to kill...


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